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Keeping Perspective: When Bad Things Happen That Are Not Life Threatening
The very first thing to question is how important is this in the overall scheme of life? Compared to all of the things that have happened, are happening, and could happen in my life - how bad is this? Is it something that will impact the rest of my life? Is it temporary? Although the pain may not feel like it's temporary, it usually is. It's important to get a perspective. If your car has been stolen, that's a major nuisance that will cost you time and money to replace, but how does that compare to a diagnosis of cancer? If your marriage is ending, it can be extremely painful, but your life will continue no matter how bleak circumstances may seem. So wouldn't it be easier to find a way to transcend the pain and move on, let go, and take away the power from the negativity? Wouldn't it be more pleasant to look at the 'bright side'? and yes! There always is a flip side! It may not be one you believe in at the moment, it may not be where you want to focus, but there IS another perspective. It's good to keep in mind - although during the painful period it's not always the first thought - that out of every crisis comes an opportunity. No matter how bleak or dire circumstances may seem, we can't change them, but we CAN control how we view them. Again, it's our perspective - our "Point of View" (P.O.V.) Usually when something bad happens, we take it personally. For instance, when a boss is constantly yelling, demanding and being unreasonable, we feel as though we are not okay, our well-being is in question. In actuality, it's usually not personal - not about us. It feels as though it's coming AT you - so often, we say "Why me?" but it's not really ABOUT you. It's usually the other person venting, feeling frustrated angry and they are holding the emotion. You only take it on if you choose to do so. Eleanor Roosevelt said it beautifully: "You can't make someone feel inferior without their consent." Now that the bad thing has happened, you have the ability to stop giving it power and energy and to begin feeling free and truly let it go. Only by holding on to the thoughts of the past, can they stay alive. What are you getting out of hanging onto it? The negativity can be draining your energy, taking up time, keeping you from other things. We may want revenge, may want to vent our anger, or choose to stay in the victim 'poor me' role, and feel sorry for ourselves. That's okay initially - briefly, but it becomes a waste of energy when life is continuing without us. The main choice is to transcend it (not often easy when you are enmeshed in the pain) or if possible, do something about it... otherwise you are whining, Complaining seems like you are doing something about it when you really are NOT. What you are doing is feeding the pain or anger so that it stays alive and well. By letting it go, it dies; it disappears; it can be left behind. If you are unhappy with the way your boss or significant other treats you, you could possibly have a talk with him/her explaining how unhappy you are - how their behavior is affecting you; you can leave the job; you can look at the bright side - you HAVE a job, or you could continue to complain and experience the same old, same old. While there are many more options possible, the first one has to be how you view the situation - as that's the ONLY place where you have complete control. By coming into the present and focusing on the positives - no matter how difficult it may be, you are taking control and taking the first step towards freedom. Invitation to Experiment: Think about the things that you are holding onto from the past. What is still swirling in your mind that is no longer truly relevant to you right now? Where can you change your point of view (P.O.V.) and affect a difference in how you feel about a situation? What have you been complaining about lately? Is there something you can do about it? What are you believing is directed at you? Can you see it from another perspective so that you can see that it's about the other person and not about you? Marion Franklin - is a Professional Certified Life Coach who coaches individuals and groups regarding personal and professional change, focus, human relations, and conflict management. Marion has coached managers at major corporations including PepsiCo, Toys'R'Us, and Reader's Digest. She conducts and help clients design workshops and presentations, has been a featured presenter at meetings, retreats, and an ongoing Women's Workshop Series, has been cited in The Journal News and The Wall Street Journal, and has appeared on local Cable Television. http://www.lifecoachinggroup.com
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Business Management The Benefits of Keeping A Journal Keeping a journal has many advantages and benefits. Whether you write a few lines or pages, through journaling, you can record and track a lot of information that can be easily retained for future reference. You can actually see what you were thinking because your thoughts and experiences are in a journal. When you commit to writing them down, you have put your thoughts and experiences into a solid form. Below are some examples of the benefits of keeping a journal. Step Out Living your successful life requires you to step out. I remember as a teenager, right out of high school, learning this valuable lesson. Now - 15 years later - my life is the result of habitually stepping out. Whats Your Zipline? A few years ago, I was with 20 of America's most effective presenters The Speakers Roundtable at the Pecos River Conference Center near Sante Fe, NM. We were working on our communication skills, not unlike the work we do in our own Excellence in Speaking Institute (ESI) classes. What's in Your Blind Spot? We frantically search for our "lost" keys that are lying in plain sight on the kitchen counter. We don't we see the keys. Why not? Because we already decided "the keys are not there." And once we make that decision, we create a blind spot in our awareness. The result is that we don't see the keys where we don't expect them to be. Going The Extra Mile There is one sure way to get what you want in life, but few people actually do it. Put this practice firmly into your day to day business activities and you will have an advantage over the rest of the crowd. Taking Action NOW: 9 Key Strategies...Part I Awareness, understanding what impacts you! A Reality Practice Suggested practice to gain freedom from self-limitation. Even Though As often happens following one of the Best Year Yet programs I do, a message emerges for Monday Morning Coach. Recently I conducted a BYY workshop and what struck me was how often participants (I include myself in this group, since each time I present it, I am also vicariously examining my own life) stop themselves from taking action because of the underlying belief that they don't have "enough," or aren't enough (smart enough, thin enough, ready enough, etc.) to make things happen. Heres How Tiger, Oprah, And Spielberg Stay Motivated I want to share with you a powerful principle that I've used to change my life and that you can use to unleash your greatness. Challenge Yourself - Stretch Your Boundaries Daily! Many times we fall into a sedentary lifestyle because we fear forward movement. We eventually feel as though we've fallen into a rut and can't seem to escape. However, this is where we tend to forget that part of moving forward in life is to continue challenging yourself and your abilities. What is your Altitude? It is something that everyone and I do mean everyone has the same opportunity to possess. It is something that can change you, those around you, and your future immediately. It is something that will never leave you in a worse position than before you possessed it. It is something that affects your behavior which then in turn is demonstrated by your performance. This something is called Positive Attitude. Motivation: 3 Keys to Lasting Change David Bowie once sang, "Ch-ch-changes, tryin' to face the strain." The Time To Start Working On Your Dream is Now - Not Later Most of us are hesitant to start anything because we are afraid we might make a mistake or fail. Go ahead make mistakes! Don't wait for more experience or to be good enough to start. You don't have to be good to start, but you have to start to be good. Dont You Quit! "A man who has nothing to die for is not fit to live." -Martin Luther Why it Pays to Have a Definite Life Purpose When was the last time you were asked, what is your "Definite Life Purpose"? 7 Tips For Lasting Motivation And Greater Success Lasting motivation is possible once you adopt an outlook that allows you to be more successful. Here are seven tips you can use today to overcome procrastination and start achieving much more. Ending Procrastination Perseverance is about as important to achievement as gasoline is to driving a car. Sure, there will be times when you feel like you are spinning your wheels, but you'll always get out of the rut with genuine perseverance. Without it, you won't even be able to start your engine. Lights, Camera, Take Action Have you ever had a great business idea? The Simple Secret To Lasting Motivation This is a key to lasting motivation and beating procrastination. Are You the Motivator We're all aware of how important teamwork is and how an inspired team, working together toward a clearly defined goal, can accomplish tremendous results. But how do you get all co-workers to pull together and realize they are a vital link in a much bigger picture?
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