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| Motivation Information |
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Are You a Right-Fighter?
Are You a "Right-Fighter"? Do you find yourself struggling to "win" arguments? Do people ask you why you always have to be right? Does conflict you engage in typically end with you having the last word, but no one feels good about the argument? Do arguments you engage in usually escalate to shouting and anger? If you have said yes to any of these questions, you are likely a right-fighter! What is a "Right-Fighter" A right-fighter is someone who struggles to win arguments, even if they doubt their own view. A right-fighter is someone who gets overly emotional or angry when people do not agree with them and their opinions or beliefs. A right-fighter is someone who insists on having the last word in an argument or refuses to back down no matter what. Challenges of Being a "Right-Fighter" 1) People who are right-fighters, (or those who are driven by the need to be right), have their value or worth literally attached to the outcome of being right. On a very deep level, a right-fighter believes that if she is not agreed with then she is not valuable, lovable and/or worthy. The "right-fighter" desperately believes (unconsciously) that others must agree with her to feel ok about herself. Being a right-fighter causes you to depend upon others for your self-esteem and worth. 2) Right-Fighting is an acceptable form of violence or aggression. Because the right-fighting pattern usually ends up one sided and includes a winner and a loser, the effects are similar to those of physical abuse. Learned submission on the part of the children and often the other parent/spouse is inevitable. "Right-Fighting" is in fact a form of emotional abuse. A right-fighter parent is particularly harmful to children because the child is made to feel like the "loser" and that his or her opinions are not valid or important. Right-fighting is a direct reflection of low self-esteem. And unfortunately the low self-esteem of one steals the development of strong self-esteem of others. Negative Outcomes of "Right-Fighting" Women ~ Loved ones around a right-fighting women experience consistent feelings of defeat and learn to seriously doubt their capabilities, lovability and value as a human. The result is often alienation. ~ Right-Fighting is an especially dangerous behavior for mothers. A very common outcome of right-fighting is that it tends to breed explosiveness and anger within the home environment. ~ Because the nature of a right-fighting parent is to prove his/her value and worthiness through being "right", it is at the same time stealing a strong sense of value and worthiness from the children. Any time parents have low self-esteem, the children will too. ~ Frequently right-fighters are managers, bosses or owners of companies because they are strong and powerful (which when used well are merely 2 of the abounding excellent qualities of the right-fighter!). Unfortunately, the right-fighting work environment creates disloyalty, frequent turnover, dishonesty, ineffectiveness, and an every man for himself attitude. (I'll save right-fighting in the workplace for another time!) Do Not Despair! If you have found that you may have some qualities of a right-fighter, don't start beating yourself up, begin working on it! You are a wonderful and lovable person with far more positive qualities than negative... this is certain! This habit does NOT have to define you. You are capable of releasing this habit at any time (please seek help if you need it, a partner in change is always a wonderful gift to yourself and your family!). Acknowledging your habit of right-fighting and becoming aware when you are engaging in this habit is the first, most important step in leading a more successful and happy life. Action Step "Right-fighters": Begin to gently remind yourself of your unchanging value and worth during arguments and disagreements, whether or not you fully believe it. "Fake it till you make it"! Begin to imagine what conflict would be like if the outcome was not important. Begin to allow others to hold one opinion and you another without having ill or hurt feelings. What would life be like to be loved, cared for and respected rather than being "right"? Try validating others' opinions as equally valuable. This doesn't mean you must agree, only to say "yes" you and your view are as valuable as mine". I promise you, peace will begin to flow into your life. About Author: Momentum Performance Development is a personal and professional coaching company. When you commit to one of our programs, our team of experts in sport, career, and family performance development will assist in exponentially changing your life for the better. This means high performance success for you. We are committed to your results! Sign up for our FANTASTIC newsletters at http://www.create-momentum.com/
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Business Management How to Stay Motivated Day In and Day Out Staying motivated requires a daily ritual. Employee Motivation - The 8 Basics Building a team of motivated people in your business is vital to get the very best results, but so many managers focus on the 'ra-ra-ra', rather than the important things - the things that make people feel comfortable in their working environment. Here are eight that you might want to have a think about: The WeatherIs it too hot, or too cold. Your people need an environment which is, like Goldilocks said, 'Just right'. So is the office too stuffy in summer? Or too icy in winter? Is it draughty? Do people get wet when accepting deliveries, because the outside roof leaks? Literally make sure that external factors are as they wish. The BreaksSometimes working in a day-to-day job can get boring and exhausting. So people need to know when their breaks are and that they wil be able to take them - it's not that complicated. Yet often, they just aren't able to have this basic courtesy in place. Planning and caring for your people's needs is vital. It's what you would want for yourself, isn't it? HolidaysAnd vacations/holidays are important too - some would say it's the most important thing on the working year calendar. So enable this to happen, when they need to know, so that they can plan their invaluable time away from the business and refresh. Being HeardYou people need you to listen to then and hear them - really hear what they are saying and respond with action and/or acknowledgement. Be out there creating good, open relationships with your people and take in what they say - what's important to them - and deliver solutions to make conditions great. Achievable GoalsBy being really, really clear about what you expect from your employees, you will set the scene for committed staff. Through knowing exactly what their performance should look like to be judged excellent, by you, gets buy-in, big-time. So be clear, give them the resources to achieve success and they will be well onside. Being ThankedAs they do a good job for you each day - tell them. It's easy - just say 'Thank You'! Appreciation for achieving success, especially when it's from the boss is so important. So recognising excellent performance, even for small tasks, cost nothing and takes but a moment - worth building into your day job activities - every day! ChallengePeople like to do new things, to explore, to seek out and utilise their potential, Sometimes this means they will have to be 'stretched' in what they do. With a helping hand, to support, coach and grow the skills of your people, you are setting in place a keen, ambitious and ready-for-the-next-experience star in the making. So find new ways to develop them. SecurityIn today's business climate, it isn't always easy to build the best future consistently - things change too much, too quickly. But you can go some way to ensure that it is a safe place to be. With this level of security, your people will loosen up and feel capable of being with you, rather than against. It is a measure of your own leadership as to how well this works.These are basics for your people - get these right and you will be 85% there, in having motivated people working with you. Then you can turn on the charm, get radical and creative and find them right there alongside you (in front even!). Focused on building your business strongly. Motivation By Spring Cleaning Spring cleaning is a great motivator. Why confine it to Spring? Motivation By A Challenge Many humans are motivated by the thought of doing something they or others think they cannot do. They don't want to do what they already know they can do. Life Rewards Action Thinking is good, yes it is. I strongly encourage thinking. In fact, thinking plays a terrific role in success. It helps you strategize. It helps you get motivated. It tunes you into success. I am all for thinking and I do it regularly! Don't Let Motivation Cause You to Fail Yesterday my teenage son Matt came home with a less than stellar report card. (Yes, even peak performance experts sometimes have trouble motivating others.) Now Matt is by no means stupid. The reason he got poor grades is because he did not do the work that was required for some of his classes. Why did not he do the work? According to him, he did not feel motivated to do it. After having a loud discussion with him (translation: I was ranting and raving), I realized that Matt is no different than many people in his erroneous idea about motivation and success. The Undeniable Power of a Mastermind Group A Mastermind is a group of individuals who are joined in purpose. All bringing their collective talents and experiences to the achievement of a common goal. Make It Happen Now! Most people think that when they have chosen a path that's it - that's the path to follow. This is far from the truth according to leading Business Coach? Brad Tonini who has just released his latest book "Make It Happen Now!" Dont You Quit! "A man who has nothing to die for is not fit to live." -Martin Luther Are You an Optimist or a Pessimist? I have been giving some thought lately to optimism and pessimism. Basically, these are attitudes. Attitudes that shape and formulate our entire existence. I mean, have you ever met a happy pessimist? Of course not. Hey CyberJunkie, Clean that Booger off Your Nose! Well....., I got some good news and I got some bad news. It's come to my attention that some of you want to be cyberjunkies. Which do you want first? I'll give you the good news first. YOU can!! It's very simple. The bad news is: It's not easy and it could be messy. The Ultimate Kick-butt Motivational Lesson How often have you struggled with yourself over the work that needs to be done? How many times have you put off performing some task or other because it's too mundane? Motivation and Success: Improved Techniques Changing our internal programming that limits us has never been simpler or easier; we just expect it to be more complex! When we associate images or objects that provide a state of relaxation and joy we create a receptive environment for the unconscious mind to accept powerful motivation and successful results. Playing With Mindfulness: Sneaking In The Back Door I often meet people who say things like, "I've been working on mindfulness for over twenty years." How Great is the Strength of Your Belief? Be careful what you believe because that is what you will experience. Your belief system is a mechanism which is uniquely yours. It is powered by your desire and controlled by your thoughts and actions. In other words, your success is measured by the strength of your belief. How To Overcome Procrastination Quickly And Easily Maybe it is time to discover a new way to overcome procrastination and get motivated. How to Talk to Yourself When Nobody is Listening and You Want to Do you ever pay attention to the thoughts inside your mind? And more importantly do you ever notice the way in which you talk to yourself? Seven Aspects of Making Brilliant Decisions: The Relationship Between Work and Self Workweek: an opportunity for discovering and shaping; the place where the self meets the world. Greed and Selfishness: Knowing The Difference And Loving Yourself! I hear many people discuss how selfishness leads to greed, or that being greedy is part of being selfish. I simply have to say that "greed" and "selfishness" are not the same things. These are "value words" and are based on ideas and information drilled into our heads when we were younger as something known as "basic morals." Motivating Yourself To Take Action Daily Daily action towards a goal is the fastest way to achieve your goal. As you take daily action you see the results of that action fairly quickly if not immediately. Visible results which are clear and undeniable are huge motivators.
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