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| Motivation Information |
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Discover The Upside of Anger
Most of us are prone to anger! As we grow older, a certain degree of control keeps us in check, but the pot is on simmer and the lid is loosely fixed. An unexpected jolt, or a sudden increase in heat will nearly always result in a boiling cauldron. Recently we had a couple come to us for help. They had been married for only three weeks. With arms folded, one sat at one end of the couch and the other at the other end. They were very angry; ready to end the marriage there and then! Child and spouse abuse is rarely a premeditated thing; in most cases it follows a situation where anger pushes aside common sense and lashes out at the first thing it sees. Tragically, that 'first thing' is often a loved one. In order to help this couple we had to find out what caused them to be so angry with each other. Both of them displayed the very thing that we believe is the root cause of not all, but a lot of anger. Fear! Fear is a close relative of anger Perhaps that is a foreign concept to you. Neither the husband nor wife could see the root cause of their anger until we were able to point it out to them. Anger seems to do that to you. It blinds you from the truth! It causes you to look for someone else to blame. I always say once you are able to see and own the real cause of your problem you are over half way to solving it. Sometimes fears hide themselves and you have to look closer. For example a man likes to succeed, right? Push his buttons and see if he doesn't react as a result of a fear of failure. A woman likes to be affirmed, right? Push her buttons and see if she isn't deep down afraid of rejection. Come on, we all like to be accepted whether it is through what we do or how we look. In the husband's case he had been married twice before and both times he had lost a lot of money. Fear of it happening again was the root cause of his outbursts of anger. Of course, those sudden flare-ups of temper, while destructive enough, are not the most vicious forms of anger. Much more deadly is the "controlled burn", the seething crater of hatred and spite contained within the heart and fed daily with fresh accusations, either real or imagined. Given the right set of circumstances, one might lash out and in the process bring hurt where none was intended. In the Bible the apostle Paul spoke not of the possibility of anger, but of what to do in its presence. "Go ahead and be angry", he said in Ephesians 4:26. "But don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry, and don't go to bed angry." (The Message) If we are very hurt and very angry, our anger can overcome us - like the couple that came for help. What do we do then? Although there is much written on anger management I feel the most important of all is to forgive the person who has hurt you and deal with the cause of your anger. Why is it important to forgive when you have been wronged? Forgiveness releases you In the Bible Jesus said: "Forgive and you will be forgiven." (Luke 6:37). The literal translation of this Bible verse is 'release and you will be released'. If you really forgive someone, you no longer blame that person, even though they may be blameworthy. If you do not blame a person, you cannot resent them. If you do not resent them you cannot hold any bitterness in your heart. If you do not hold bitterness then you do not get all emotionally tied up with anger and hate towards that person. Forgiveness is a Choice In Biblical terms, forgiveness is the loving, voluntary cancellation of a debt. It is like when someone 'owes' you, but you choose to cancel the debt. (Matthew 18:24-43) It does not matter how long ago the hurtful event occurred, how wrong they are or how many times we are hurt. The Bible says we must forgive them so God can bless and forgive us. "If you forgive others their sins, your Father in heaven will also forgive you your sins." Do not use the excuse that you are waiting until you feel like forgiving or until they ask for forgiveness it will probably never happen. It only hurts you if you continue to let your emotions rule your life. Forgiveness is a choice! Deal with the root cause of anger As mentioned earlier we all have expectations in life, whether it be to succeed or be accepted. When these are blocked we can become frustrated and angry. Several things can trigger anger, but they may not necessarily be the real cause of your outbursts. A good doctor or counselor will be able to help you understand what is the root cause of your anger. As mentioned, there is a definite link between fear and anger. What can I do about it once my fears are recognized? The moment I began a personal relationship with God and became his child I was allowed to enjoy all the privileges a child would receive. I had his love. God has promised that his love will drive fear away. "Where God's love is, there is no fear, because God's perfect love drives fear out." (1 John 4:18) By allowing God to fill you with his love you too can conquer your fears. Whether it is a fear of failure or fear of rejection you can be secure in his love knowing that he will help you to succeed and meet your deep inner needs if you allow him. International traveller, author, and speaker, Wilma Watson has been helping people overcome life's challenges for over 35 years. Her encouraging words have helped thousands reach their full potential. Wilma is the producer of a unique website that makes spirituality fun and simple. Visit her site at http://www.ydyc.org
Motivation - Google News |
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On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you." Going with the Flow This whole idea of change is founded on a single principle: CHANGE IS ALL IN YOUR MIND. Increase Your Energy! It was only about 18 months ago that I could not even keep up with a 90-year old's energy levels. At my partner's family functions, I often sat with his grandmother who, by the end of the evening, was still lively and chirpy while I was barely able to keep my eyes open. Most evenings I would come home after work, curl into bed with a book and fall asleep. When I woke up I would feel tired and demotivated. I figured I did not have enough time left to do anything interesting, so I would go back to bed. Sometimes I would even fall asleep at the book shop while choosing which books to buy! Maintaining Your Motivation I recently spoke to a group of sales professionals at the end of their training conference. The attendees had participated in many learning sessions over a two day period most of which were product related. I was scheduled to speak after dinner and I was somewhat concerned how attentive they would be by this time. Staying the Course Are you willing to stay the course? Once you have decided on a course and set sail toward your destination, you will undoubtedly face moments along your journey, perhaps even long stretches, where it seems that you are not making progress toward your goal even though you are doing the things necessary to reach it. We've all heard the saying "it's darkest before the dawn" and it's often true that we are on the verge of great success when it is most difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The Thrivers Secrets to Success?: It Starts With Your Attitude - Get a Grip and Go®! What impact would it have on your professional and personal life if you could learn the secret of successful living known by about 25% of the people? Think about that for a minute and even pause right now and write some thoughts down. How would your life be different if you operated like a "thriver" - a person who thrives and flourishes no matter what life throws at him or her? Do The Hardest Thing First And The Rest Will Be Easy Have you ever noticed that in life we almost always choose the easy road, the path of least resistance when it comes to challenges in our way? Achieving Your Dreams Have you achieved your dreams? Dreams are an important part of our lives and should not be ignored. Our dreams inspire us to achieve unbelievable deeds, create stunning works of art, bring to life the impossible and give us hope and strength to look toward tomorrow with optimism and determination. But what if no one believed in their dreams and never took a chance to make them come true? Think about that for a moment and contemplate what our world would look like. Thinking for Success - The Same Method Does Not Work For Everyone I am always concerned that there are so many books available on the subject of being successful, but unfortunately many of these books are read and then discarded. The Secret to this Famous Singers Success It seems the longer think we have, the longer we put off living the life we see in our heads. Hey CyberJunkie, Clean that Booger off Your Nose! Well....., I got some good news and I got some bad news. It's come to my attention that some of you want to be cyberjunkies. Which do you want first? I'll give you the good news first. YOU can!! It's very simple. The bad news is: It's not easy and it could be messy. Elements of Change The key to achieving more than you currently are, no matter which area of your life or work you are focusing in on now, is change. The old saying rings true: If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you've already got. If you keep eating and exercising the way you currently are, you will weigh the same a year from now. If you continue to sell to the same people on the same schedule, you will make the same amount of money next year. Mr. Smith, Please Enter the Dream Room - Dream Big Dreams to Do Big Things! Enjoy a great quote to start off this fantastic week! Life Is About Taking "Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new." Brian Tracy How To Beat Procrastination At Work Listen. If you don´t beat procrastination at work the long term consequences could be serious. Take this example of how expensive work procrastination can be... Who Do You Need To Become To Make It Happen For You? 'We cannot become what we need to be remaining what we are.' -Max Dupree 6 Simple Steps To Accelerating your Learning What is Accelerated learning?
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