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| Motivation Information |
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If You Are Rejected!
This article exemplifies the inner working of emotional intelligence. Effectively working through one tough situation at a time can build our emotional competence... dealing with rejection is one such tough situation. This article fits under Goleman's second level EQ: Self-management (as I manage my own emotions inside of rejection) AND under Goleman's third level EQ: Social Competence (as I use empathy to understand the rejecter. If You Are Rejected There are billions of people across the globe, not everyone will accept you. Accept you, yes, here I mean, accepting you, as you are what you are. All did not accept even people like Gandhi, Lincoln, and Mother Teresa, to name a few. There are thousands of people in the CTI community, not all will read this write-up, many will put this in the trash-box, some will simply reject the thought and some other will disagree with my opinion and thought process and only few will reply to me and will give constructive feedback. There are many phases and occasions in life where you may get rejected: 1) Rejection by prospective employer- you know it, you might have faced numerous interviews to get selected in one. 2) Rejection by family- these days we are hearing many cases of disowning the parents and/or children that is why there are so many old-age homes. 3) Rejection by spouse- there are many divorce cases pending in various courts. 4) Rejection by friends-in a group of more than two people not everyone will accept you. 5) Rejection by society- if you are not following the rigid rules and customs of society?they will reject you. Facing Rejection When we feel the blow of major rejection-the betrayal of a close friend, a wound from a family member, the unfaithfulness of a mate-we may wonder if we'll ever find someone who will love us again. As we try to make sense of our pain, we can be tempted to respond to rejection in destructive ways: ? Self-contempt means we take the full responsibility for the failure of the relationship. We wonder, What is it about me that causes people to leave me? Is there something so repulsive that no one can love me? ? Contempt for others holds others fully responsible for the downfall of the relationship. We view them as evil. We write them off with, "It's all their fault." ? Contempt for God blames Him for our pain. We reason that if He is in control of our lives and He loves us, He should have protected us from this heartbreaking experience. At first, contempt for ourselves, others, and God seems to work well. It helps us maintain the façade that we have everything under control because we have "explained" the reason for the pain. But any form of contempt is not the answer. The more self-critical you are, the less you'll be able to tolerate comments you perceive as negative from your partner. Not surprisingly, therefore, the end of a relationship that wasn't your decision can be tough. Often, the severest self-critics had a childhood in which there was so much chaos or other diversions in the family that the quiet child who made no fuss was ignored and, as a result, felt invisible. Or perhaps the child grew up in an authoritarian home environment where an iron rule was imposed on the household by at least one of the caregivers. Either of these situations can cause a child to become highly self-critical as an adult. Both invisibility and abundant disapproval become equated with not being good enough because a person learns to vigilantly self-monitor his or her actions to keep the peace (and avoid harm). Now, that you are rejected?what to do next! Reframe rejection as a blessing in disguise. Ask yourself: What do I gain by not having this person in my life? What adjustments was I making to accommodate her/his idiosyncrasies? What do I no longer have to put up with that I disliked while we were together? What freedoms did I forego to meet him/her more than halfway? Consider writing your answers in your journal or diary. The more you discover about what isn't a good match, the better you can develop your own assessment about what kind of person is. Rather than wallow in payback, take time to reflect and ask yourself insight-provoking questions, such as: "What did I learn from this experience? What am I going to do differently next time?" Like your successes, relationships that did not go well can be equally valuable -- if only to teach you what to avoid. Finally, realize that each person walking away from a relationship is experiencing a loss. Allow yourself to grieve. You need comforting. And while you are at it, be kind to yourself and take some time to make yourself feel better. It doesn't have to be a day at the spa or a night on the town (or the prowl), although it could be. Perhaps it's a good time to take a vacation to somewhere completely unlike where you live. As you rack up frequent flier miles, you'll gain emotional distance and perhaps a healthier perspective for a fresh start when you return. Conclusion: If you are rejected, it doesn't mean that you are not good or there is some flaw in you, only thing is that your thoughts are not in line with the person on other side. It is just a difference of opinion. Like success and failure; happiness and sadness; we also have acceptance and rejections. You're a natural born flyer--the world's one-and- only "you." The magic feather of "belief" is the mind's way of remembering what is already true. Here is one poem, in Hindi: Kabhi kissi ke liye koi nahi rukta; Looking for to your feedback and replies, provided if you accepting my thoughts. Regards Sanjeev Sharma
Motivation - Google News |
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Business Management Who Do You Need To Become To Make It Happen For You? 'We cannot become what we need to be remaining what we are.' -Max Dupree Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow Recently a person attended one of my goal setting seminars with a different kind of focus; I will call him Richie. I had the feeling, as I was leading the group in a goal setting exercise, that Richie had recently traveled this road. After hearing his story I discovered that in fact he did have a new outlook on life; and goals attached. Lazy? Or Right on Schedule Q. I've been working on a big project for a long time. Although I try to move ahead every day, sometimes I have to force myself to accomplish even a small task. When I skip a day, I feel guilty. How can I stay motivated?" Its a Habit Do you sometimes have the feeling that you are running into the same obstacles over and over again? Many of my conflicts have the same feel to them, like "Hey, I think I've been here before," but I can't figure out how I wound up in the same place. The situation is different, but the conflict feels the same. Growing Out of Your Comfort Zone It has been said that "if you are not growing, you are dying." As human beings, we are on a constant journey called life. Rick Warren has been quite successful at stimulating thought and faith in his fine book, A Purpose Driven Life, suggesting that we are all here on Earth for a reason. I would like to propose that the concept of success is purpose-driven too. Earl Nightingale referred to success as the "continuing pursuit of a worthy ideal" and spoke of it often. I submit then, that success is not a destination, but a purposeful journey. How to Become an Effective Self-Help User "Know Yourself" That's what the big guy said way back when? Was it Aristotle, Plato or Socrates? Anyhow, that's the essence of what this article is about. Qualia and Quanta Ah, those New Year's resolutions. Be Action-Oriented Are you a melancholic online business owner by nature? I have something to tell you. Thinking for Success - The Same Method Does Not Work For Everyone I am always concerned that there are so many books available on the subject of being successful, but unfortunately many of these books are read and then discarded. Stop Procrastination--Just Do It! In this article I'll talk about the reason that stops most of Internet entrepreneurs from succeeding online. Half Dome, A Story About Your Future Success The physical journey mirrors very accurately the spiritual journey of your own life. It was one of the toughest things you've ever done. Hike two miles to the bottom of the first waterfall, climb to the top of that one, only to find yourself at the bottom of another waterfall, only higher. After reaching the top of the second waterfall you begin to understand why people actually train for the hike. You then push yourself for three miles straight uphill through the switchbacks of the Yosemite forests. You finally reach the base of the domes. Here, you have a picture taken to document the point at which you "hit-the-wall"...the wall of exhaustion. The guy taking the picture says, "You've done a great job getting this far, no one would blame you if you turned around." You consider it, but just then, the reddest hummingbird you've ever seen flies near and seems to whisper in your ear, "You can do it. I'm telling you, you can do it!" Discover The Spark That Motivates You In Business and Life Can There Be Any Other Business Like Your Own Business? What Comes First the Action or the Feeling? In other words, it is in the "doing" that we appreciate and learn the meaning of an action or activity, not simply in thinking about it. The Top 10 Creative Strategies for Moving into Action and For Getting Bottom Line Results Your ability to move into action and to achieve bottom line results rests in the power of your thinking. These ten strategies will support you in transforming your desires into concrete action. 5 Keys to Maintaining Personal Change I look out my window at daybreak as the sunrise creates tiny sparkles on sheets of frozen snow. Two mornings later, the snow and sparkles are gone. Even the warmer weather will not last long. The New Morality In a world where dynamism alters egos and principles in a man every second, where men divest in tenets that secure them from being devout to something natural, where humanity seeks reasons to be ignorant just to feel sly and intelligent we're confronted with issues of morality. We can no longer be satisfied with being truthful incessantly, we can no longer be happy for the sake of empathizing, we can no longer be sympathetic in a world that beseeches us to be methodological, we can no longer be human when the invariable pretension has made us lose our ethicality forever we can only choose to be different moralists altogether. Succinctly we need a new morality. The Lies We Live By How many times have you lied to get your way? Awakening The Giant In You Deep within man dwells some vast slumbering powers and abilities that he never dreamt of possessing. Forces that would revolutionize his life if aroused and put into action. Inertia? 5 Tips to Getting Yourself Moving Again! Inertia. Even the word sounds like a disease. No, it isn't literally a disease but it is one figuratively. Simply defined inertia is: resistance or disinclination to motion, action, or change. For those of us who are stuck in a job we hate, inertia can sap our energy, drain our lives of joy, and make us miserable to be around. The following 5 tips will help you make the changes necessary to bury your inertia. Motivation From A Great Western - We All Have It Coming Most self-help gurus warn us against watching too much TV. Spending time with your much maligned TV set does have advantages, however. You are, for example, able to watch a great film like 'Unforgiven'. It has lessons which can motivate us and enlighten us.
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