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Assessing Your Self-Help Needs
Self Help is itself a broad category from which to choose resources for your personal benefit. It is wise to assess yourself first, in terms of "needs" and/or "problems" to be solved. Because as you work through this process you will find that more than one Online Resource may fit the bill. Then you are in the unsavory position of having to test a number of things to see what works best. Now this isn't a bad thing all by itself. Life after all is a sequence of trial and error, followed by trial and success and so on. You're going to hit the jackpot sooner or later, so eventually you'll get what you need. Ideally of course, you want to get your needs met sooner, rather than later. This brings us to our first important distinction in this assessment process. To keep things simple we are going to identify two broad categories in the pursuit of self-help. These we will call: 1) Categories of Distress; and 2) Categories of Achievement. Under categories of distress we may find symptom problems such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, negative thinking and so on. These are the types of symptoms or problems that consistently have an adverse effect on your sense of well-being. We can sum these up as "Negatives we want to get away from or eliminate. Under "categories of achievement" we may find personal growth, self-improvement, positive thinking, goal setting, success conditioning and so on. All of these "targets" or "goals" tend to have a positive effect on our sense of well-being. We can sum these up as "Positives that we want to embrace. So our two broad categories are: "Distress," which we want to move away from and: "Achievement, which we want to move toward. This is our beginning point. Your problem area or achievement goal will fall under one of these two. Now, is it likely that you will have more than one problem area to deal with, or more than one achievement goal to pursue? The answer, of course, is quite likely. But before you begin feeling overwhelmed, consider the following. As an example, under Categories of Distress, you may be experiencing anxiety and low self-esteem. Which do you tackle first? Or, do you tackle both of them at the same time? The answer is: you tackle the one that troubles you the most, because the other one will quite likely be beneficially affected as well. Think about this for a minute. If you learn to effectively reduce your anxiety you will likely also experience a positive increase in self-esteem. Conversely, if low self-esteem is the dominant issue, then improving your self-esteem will likely reduce your anxiety. In either case, the lesser problem will be positively affected. That doesn' t mean it will not need focussed attention of its own. But as the dominant problem recedes, the next one needing most of your attention, will step up to the plate. This may sound like simplified psychology, but it is what 25 years as a therapist has shown me. Let's move over to "Categories of Achievement" and see if this may be true here also. Suppose our goals are to increase "Positive Thinking" and apply some "Success Conditioning" to our work attitude. Well, we can still make the same choice. Which of these goals do we most desire at this particular time, given our current stage of development? You can be assured that whichever goal you choose, the other will be positively affected as well. After which, that secondary goal may now press for attention, or some other as yet unseen goal could materialize. You can't see what's around the corner, until - you actually turn the corner! Now for some of you, all of this may seem rather straightforward; others of you may be feeling overhwelmed again. So it's time to make another important distinction. Just as we've identified two broad categories of Self-Help requirements, I must now distinguish between two broad categories of "Persons seeking Self-Help." Category 1, will be those persons who have done some work on themselves and have a sense of what "problems" or "goals" they want to deal with NEXT. Category 2 belongs to your basic "Newbie" who has little or no experience in seeking self-help and/or doesn't trust their ability to make good choices for themselves. We can readily see that these 2 groups are radically different, but only on the experience scale. Their goals, and/or problems to be solved, are part of their desire to "improve" their lives and their sense of "effectiveness." On these points, they are the same as category 1 individuals, who also want to improve their lives. So the fundamental question for both groups at this point is essentially the same: "Where do I start?" And the answer for both groups is also the same: "Start from where you are right now!" Let me explain. If you are a newbie, then look for resources and programs that have "newbie" written all over them and address your current "main" problem or goal. For example, if that's anxiety, phobias, or low self-esteem then pick a program, book(s) or audio course that addresses the dominant concern. On the other hand, if you've been at this personal development thing for a while, then trust that your instincts will take you where you need to go next. The most pressing need or desire, for persons in either of these groups, will make its way to the front of the line. That's just the way we are built! Maurice Turmel has a PHD in Counseling Psychology and was a practicing therapist for nearly 25 years. Self-Help issues are dealt with regularly in his monthly Ezine "The Self-Help Advisor." Dr. Turmel likes to use parable stories to illustrate important points. He has authored 3 books and is also a performing songwriter. He can be reached through his Website at: http://www.mauriceturmel.com
Motivation - Google News |
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Business Management Change 101: How to Get the Changes You Desire Here's a bold statement: Quick Steps To Help You Take Action Now Need to move ahead and yet find yourself holding back? Ready, Set, Action! James 2: 17?faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. 24You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone. Heres How Tiger, Oprah, And Spielberg Stay Motivated I want to share with you a powerful principle that I've used to change my life and that you can use to unleash your greatness. Grit or Grace? The grit of life is hard to swallow. You make a presentation at the office and someone points out a small mistake. The traffic was terrible that morning and you were late to an important appointment. You rehearsed exactly what you wanted to say to your boss, but when the time came the mind went blank. Beginnings Arent As Complicated As They Seem Beginnings are seldom as complicated as they seem. You know what I mean by "complicated the dates and the duties and the things-to-be-remembered, the stuff that piles onto your plate with a new project or obligation. Whether it's an urgent justice issue, a medical diagnosis forcing a changed lifestyle, or the work of starting a new job, the message is that a whole bunch of stuff HAS to be done, and you are the only one to do it, and do it NOW! Are You Travelling Along The Slippery Slope To Your Grave? When it comes right down to it where ever you go is where you are, whatever you end up doing, that's what you are doing, whatever you are thinking right now, that's what's on your mind, what has happened to you, has already happened. What Is Failing Forward? What an absurd statement! Absurd or not, progress is not possible without failure. It is part of being an evolving and growing human being. Correct Your Mindset and Expel The Fear The main problem with many of us is we loose our direction in life. We have great aspirations upon leaving school or college but then just loose direction or do not know how to achieve our dreams. We are all taught the academic basics needed to function in today's world. We may then study further to achieve a qualification in a particular field. But we are never taught how to achieve real success. You need far more then just qualifications to make a success of your life. It's a fact that many people have left school with very few or no qualifications, but have still been very successful. Can You Can Can? What You Can Do If You Really Go For It One hundred years ago the laundry girls of Montmartre invented a street dance which became known as the Can Can. Some dancers love it and some hate it. The audiences, especially the men, love it. Mountain-Moving Momentum It can be challenging to think about going to the next level. Especially when you are completely overwhelmed by the thought of taking the next step. Are you catatonic? "Stuck on still"? Moving nowhere, fast? Constructive Tips About Retrenchment This article provides constructive tips about facing retrenchment and moving on with new career opportunities. 7 Tips to Keep up Your New Year Resolutions There are many people who enthusiastically make their New Year Resolutions with a fond hope that they will stick to them and thus make changes in their life for the better. Procrastinator No More! Procrastination is when ever we postpone a task or duty intentionally without a valuable explanation. It is a natural tendency in people. Let's face it, sometimes we are tired or a specific task is unpleasant to perform and we respond by putting it off until later. If it happens only once or on something of not much importance it is okay. But, what happens when a student keeps putting off the school work. At the last minute he may want to make up for the lost time but fails the class. So, can you see how procrastination can get in the way of your success and objectives? Therefore, it is crucial for people to learn how to avoid this negative tendency and manage it effectively. Below I have added some tips that can convert anyone in to a procrastinator no more! Motivation: Good Luck or Bad Luck, Too Soon to Tell As the story goes, there was once a farmer and his only son in the days just before the Civil War. Having only one horse, the farmer and son worked long hard days, sun up to sun down, just to get by, with nothing left to spare. A Quick Observation of the Low Class We can all learn a valuable lesson about the types of behavior and attitudes to avoid like the plague, simply by observing the characteristics of people we all know are low class. Being low class is not a function of the lack of money or social status. I've seen rich people and those high on the social ladder who were very low class. I've also observed folks who were living below the poverty level and low on the social scale who were very high class people. It also has nothing to do with race or ethnic background. Instead, being low class is strictly a matter of behavior and attitudes. How to Master Lifes Problems "Life is a Tiger-ride, by no means easy, but ride we must; to dismount is to be devoured mercilessly." Perseverance As A Virtue "Through perseverance many people win success out of what seemed destined to be certain failure." - Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) - British Statesman, Prime Minister Commit to Doing 80% Instead of trying to be perfect, it is better to do your best, and often your best doesn't look like going all out all the time. This is especially true when you are making changes in your life. Instead of setting yourself up for disappointment and failure, allow yourself some room to breathe and not be perfect. Life is a process and it takes time, so commit to doing your best 80% of the time and implement the new change slowly, but consistently. Three Simple Ways to Motivate Yourself Today! Are you having a hard time getting things done? Are you making no steps toward achieving your goals and dreams? Could you use a little "motivation"?
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