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Getting What You Need: Ask For Help!
"Fortune befriends the bold." I regularly work with clients on making major life changes in line with a new definition of personal success. There are many methods we use in this process: identifying values, removing distractions, getting in touch with their inner wisdom, creating a powerful vision, knowing their energy limits, etc. However, one of the most important methods is often overlooked -- getting what they need by asking for help when they need it. Taking the time to seek help can be a real boost to your productivity when going through change. It is very easy to waste a lot of time going in circles trying to re-invent the wheel without even realizing we are doing it. At first, it can feel more efficient to do things by ourselves. But when the situation is too big for us, this approach can eat up a huge chunk of our time. Quick and easy sources of help are sometimes just a phone call away or a simple email to a trusted source. Isn't it funny, though, how asking for help is often our last resort? It usually occurs at the end of the problem solving process -- when we are frustrated and feel as if we have hit a dead end. Instead, I would suggest starting any challenge by asking, "do I need help with this?" Many of us are so used to being the helpers to others that the thought doesn't occur to us to reverse the roles and seek help for ourselves. Why not consider all of the available resources? Some people avoid asking for help because they don't want to "bother" others. If this sounds like you, do you remember the last time someone asked you for help? Were you bothered? Probably not. In fact, you might have even been flattered and happy to contribute. Helping others feels good! Why not give others the chance to feel good about contributing to you? I once gave a client the assignment of accepting all the help that was offered to her in one day. She was a successful small business owner and she was not allowed to offer help to anyone else for 24 hours (unless of course there was an emergency or such). She spent the day allowing others to open doors, make copies, and pick up the dishes after meals. Her job was simply to acknowledge the help and express gratitude. This was a very difficult assignment for an independent person who was not used to recognizing all of the help available to her in a given day! Through this exercise she learned that she was much more accustomed to being a 'help provider' than a 'help recipient.' Try this yourself for one day. You will quickly realize how much you do or do not accept or ask for help from others in a typical day. It can be an eye opening experience! Chances are somebody somewhere has moved through the same challenge you are facing right now. Reach out, call a friend! I guarantee it will not only save you time, it will also help you achieve your success more effectively. I invite you to consider asking for help as a chance to express your needs as well as an opportunity to brighten someone else's day by allowing them to contribute to you. So, what do you need? Deirdre Maigread McEachern is a personal coach who helps her clients experience more joy in their lives. You can contact Deirdre for a complimentary consultation at 207-439-4280 or join her free monthly newsletter at http://www.vip-coaching.com.
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Business Management Do You Make Less Money Than Your Taller Peers? A recent study at the University of Florida found that over the span of their careers short people earn less money than their taller counterparts. In terms of cold hard cash, each extra inch in height equals roughly $800 difference in annual pay. So, essentially a person standing at 5 ft 8 inches tall will make about $9600 less annually than someone standing at 6 ft 8 inches tall. Our Worst Enemy Who do you consider as your worst enemy? The criminals roamingthe dark streets? Your boss who's killing you mentally andemotionally with stress and harsh words? The people in office who are engaging in graft and corruption, instead of helpingthose in need? The Incredible Rightness of Being An Age-Old Question You Can Get There From Here But first you've got to raise your standards. Who Do You Talk To? Many of you reading this will be running businesses, or parts of, whether they are your own or not. This means that you have many things to deal with on a day to day basis plus trying to do the long-term thinking needed to lead and run the business. You probably find yourself being very busy, possibly working long hours and, if you are honest, being reactive most of the time. When do you get (or make!) time to really think about your business or the way you are operating personally? (Working on the business rather than in it!) Among the dilemmas you face are; making time to tune out and relax, time think about the business, and finding time talk to about the issues and frustrations. How to be Your Authentic Self Most of us play many different roles in the course of any given day. We could be Mom, Boss, Employee, Student or Friend, to name just a few. Very often we identify ourselves by those roles. When asked, "Who are you/" we say, "I'm a wife and mother", "I am a doctor and amateur photographer". We identify ourselves by how the world sees us, not by who we really are. Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Talking to People? Many moons ago. Talking to people was something I avoided where possible. Ten Ways to Make New Years Resolutions That You Can Actually Keep! Are you one of the millions of people who make big New Year's Resolutions each year, only to watch those resolutions fall by the wayside mere days or weeks later? Would you like to be able to set New Year's Resolutions that you can actually keep? It might be easier than you think! A Simple Strategy for Managing ADD As an ADD Coach, I usually begin my conversations with new and potential clients by saying, "Tell me about yourself and why you are looking for coaching." Most people answer with a long list of their ADD challenges. Very few people answer that they are looking to discover, enhance, or utilize their strengths. This is a big part of coaching, and a part that many people need a lot of help with. Coaching vs. Directing - How Does Improv Theater Suggest You Should Lead Your Team An age old battle in improv that I believe resonates well with challenges we experience in the business world is the question of whether a team should have a coach or a director (in which case it should be called an ensemble). In addition there's the third option of the self coached team, which I will call committee from here on forward. Working With Choices Despite our skills, experience or expertise we can still make a meal out of making a choice! Is Coaching For You? More and more people have less and less time, but have greater demands both personally and professionally. This situation has resulted in the emergence of personal coaching within four basic areas: Financial, Physical or Fitness, Life or Career and Executive Performance. How to Quickly and Easily Deal With Rude People Where I live there seems to be a a growing population of rude and vulgar people. And no matter how hard I wish for things to change it is not going to happen. It is up to me to change how I think and feel about these people. The same applies for you. Are You Controlling or Loving Yourself? How often do you hear a parental voice in your head that says things like, "You've got to lose weight," or "You should get up earlier every morning and exercise," or "Today I should get caught up on the bills," or "I've got to get rid of this clutter." Let's explore what happens in response to this voice. Taking The Coach Approach When you use what you go through to grow through, you take the coach approach. I am suggesting that you hire your own counsel. After all, who else knows your dreams, goals, and intentions better than you do? Who else has access to your inner compass? How Does Sports Coaching Differ from Corporate Coaching? Athletes Versus Employees One BIG Way To Increase Your Values and Self-Esteem One hour here, two hours there, even fifteen minutes, it all adds up, and quickly too. Television is toxic to our self- esteem. In fact, 90% of television programs are a depressant. That leaves only 10% as a stimulant. With such a high percentage of negativity fueling the majority of this country television must play into the fact that anti- depressant consumption is doubling by the year. So, if you are wondering why you have low self-esteem, think about your television habits. You Have A Choice I'm a relationship coach and, unlike most, I deal with those 'other' relationships. Of course, I make love happen without wings and an arrow, but I really make a difference with business relationships, family relationships, community relationships, old and stale relationships and all the rest that we take for granted, lost or forgotten. Making Changes in Your Personal Life Making changes in your personal life can be a tough process. Change starts with a thought. It cannot begin without one. However, what we think and dream is not always what those around us choose to envision for us. Belief Management - The Missing Ingredient? "Joan, I'm working so hard and I'm not getting anything done!" I have heard some version of this cry of frustration by many an entrepreneur. It's a common complaint voiced by those of use who sought the freedom to have complete authority over our schedules, only to find ourselves unwittingly shackled by old ways of operating.
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