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What Do You Have To Give?
"Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes from appreciating what we have, instead of being miserable about what we don't have. It's so simple-yet so hard for the human mind to comprehend." ~ Bits & Pieces Every year millions of us set New Year's resolutions to lose weight, exercise more, manage our money more closely, eat more nutritious foods etc. etc. We usually take a critical look at ourselves and highlight the negative things we feel we need to change. Today, I offer you a fresh perspective on the idea of resolutions. I invite you to consider instead: what it is that you have to *offer* to the world that up until now you have not been offering fully? Let's make this your year of contribution. I would like you to take a quick inventory of your natural talents and gifts. Believe me; you have more than you give yourself credit for! Now list one way you can use each gift toward the benefit of others this year. Are you a good listener? Can you make more of an effort to listen to others this year? Are you a talented musician? How could you share your talent with the world? What are you naturally good at and how could you give more of that to your family, your friends, your neighborhood, your job or your community? Are you a talented cook, or painter? Who could you cook for this year that you haven't before? Who could you paint for? I'm not suggesting you spend every minute of the next year giving away your talents! Just pick a few, your favorites perhaps, the ones that would be fun and start with those. This is a true win-win. You will feel great about yourself as your talents are expressed (and appreciated) as well as the obvious benefits to the recipient. There are a myriad of subtle wins in this type of self-expression, not the least of which is the potential for new or closer relationships with others. Too often our passions and talents are kept locked away in our houses or apartments and are confined to Saturday morning hobby time. If even that. Let's let them out into the world! Share the wealth of your talent. Let this be the year you share yourself. Don't be stingy. You were given your natural talents for a reason - you were given them so you could contribute them to the world. So, what do you have to give? Deirdre Maigread McEachern is a personal coach who helps her clients experience more joy in their lives. You can contact Deirdre for a complimentary consultation at 207-439-4280 or join her free monthly newsletter at http://www.vip-coaching.com.
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Business Management Can You Say No? As a manager you are constantly being asked to do things - by your boss, by one of your fellow managers, by the head of another department, by one of your staff. Whats Wrong with Life Coaching? As a Life Coach I quickly identified most individuals wanted to achieve a particular goal or ambition and tried it themselves without success, and unfortunatley were still reluctant to get any help. So, I started 'A Life Coaching' a company which provides individuals with the tools, skills and processes to Life Coach themselves. (Free sample multi media below.) Pecked to Death By Ducks Ever been in a situation where it seems like minor criticisms are all you hear? Sure, there are things you could improve, you know that . . . but a constant peck, peck, peck of negative feedback sure doesn't motivate you to change! One of my mentors called this gradual chipping away at one's self esteem, "being pecked to death by ducks." How to deal with it? There are ducks outside my window as I write . . . and I know that one sure way to make them go away, is to stop feeding them. Ducks need to eat a lot, and eat often, to keep going. If they can't get food from you, they'll try someplace else. So . . . how can you make this work for your brand of "ducks"? What about figuring out what there is about you that's FEEDING them? For example, are you reacting to their pecks? (Psychologists tell us that some people use a negative approach to get the attention they crave.) Are you working harder in response to their criticism? (When you do this, you are exhausting yourself and adding chocolate sauce to their dessert! The pecking won't end, I guarantee it.) I believe we feed our ducks when we take words of criticism home and brood. Most of us are programmed to take criticism much more seriously than we do praise, and many of us make almost a career out of taking criticism home to chew over . . . and over . . . and again. When Duck A criticizes me for DOING x, I have a choice. Take it home and make it last . . . or look the criticism in the face. If it's fair and valid, I may decide to stop x-ing (it's my choice). In fact, Duck A may have done me a good turn -- and one way to keep this in mind is to say (over and over if necessary), "It's about what I DO, it's not who I BE." A WORD ABOUT SYSTEMIC DUCK FEEDERS: Some organizations and groups encourage anonymous feedback, in the mistaken belief that this provides a safe environment for honest communication. WRONG! Anonymous feedback promotes dysfunctional systems . . . and dysfunctional systems are essentially "duck food silos." (I put a spin on an old mantra, "If you can't say it to his/her face, don't say it at all." Of course, sometimes we need help -- a mentor, an advocate, a companion, a safe structure. But whatever it takes, in healthy systems, constructive, behavior-focused criticism comes with a name attached, and if at all possible, is given face-to- face.) Finally: HOW NOT TO BE A DUCK: Before YOU criticize, think clearly. Figure out what is really bugging you. And then speak directly to the person with whom you have a problem. Use 'I' statements (a skill unknown to ducks, as far as I know). Rehearse ahead of time to be sure you are focused on behavior (Do-ing), not Be-ing. A good rule is to ask yourself, "How would this sound if she (or he) were talking to ME?" © Maureen Killoran, 2005 How to Give Yourself a Check Up From the Neck Up When was the last time you did some dedicated physical exercise? Why? I met Sean a year and a half ago in a crowd of 50,000 people. We struck up a conversation and really hit it off. He gave me his number, which I forgot. I thought about tracking him down, but figured if it was meant to be we would meet again. Three weeks later I got a phone call from him, and we have been together ever since, until about a month ago. The Fastest Way to Ruin Yourself I don't know many people who would admit to wanting to ruin themselves, but there are a lot of people who are doing everything they can to accomplish that very goal. They certainly don't see it that way, but if you look at the way they live, you can see it happening. People Pleasing and How to Stop! "People pleasing can leave you feeling empty and taken advantage of." Deb Melton Learning To Recognize Your Ego What is an ego? Personal Strategic Planning I have a few questions for you ---What if we as individuals adapted and utilized some of the same tried and true processes and methods that have given businesses the edge they need to succeed over their competition? My sense is that understood and implemented correctly professionals would be able to gain the same competitive advantage. Remarkably, this is not anything overly complicated or new and I can't take credit for developing it. But I can (and will) take credit for suggesting we take it out of the boardroom and adapt it for personal use to achieve greater personal and professional success. This classic business tool is the process of Strategic Planning. Coaching Skills Does Matter At Chick?fil-A In this discussion, we talk about Coaching Skills with Phil Orazi, Dean of Chick-fil-A University and Scott Mayson, Business Consultant with Chick-fil-A in Atlanta, Georgia. Q What is the role of an Operator at Chick-fil-A, and what are some of the challenges that an Operator faces? A Quick Checklist for Improving Your Life 1. Learn About You Not Blind, Just No Vision Helen Keller once remarked that there was one thing she knew of that was worse than being blind; it was to be able to see but have no vision. Are You A Work Addict? Work addiction is very common in our society today, yet it is not one that is not highly recognised. Life Coach, Counsellor, or Therapist; - How do I choose? Life coaching has become fashionable in recent years and there seems to be a big demand for what they offer. Counselling and many forms of therapy are also on offer, these may have been around for many years and have advantages to offer clients. Yet how do you choose which one to go for? Addiction to Blame Allen consulted with me because his wife of 18 years had threatened to leave him if he did not stop blaming her all the time. He admitted to frequently blaming her in a variety of situations. He blamed her if he thought she made a mistake, if he thought she was wrong about something, if he was feeling alone, or even if he had a bad day at work. He blamed her for asking him questions when he did not know the answer. He would sometimes even blame her if his golf game was off. He always blamed her when he felt judged by her, or when he did not get her approval. While he freely admitted that he blamed her, he could not seem to stop, and he had no idea why he blamed her. Floating In Mindfulness: Dealing With Disappointment Feeling disappointed? It's time to float. Three Great Ways to Deal with Negative People 1. Do not believe everything you hear! Theres Always Enough Time! I thought I'd begin this article by stimulating your mind with a little time trivia contest! Are you ready? Alright then, here goes.. Freedom for All; Is it Possible? Freedom for all species and people, and freedom of stress; is it possible? Could the Internet be a tool to getting there? Lovers Remorse Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 29, 2002
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