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Whats Up With All These Coaches?
If you are anything like me, you may have noticed a tremendous increase in the number of coaches that have appeared recently. Traditionally, coaches existed primarily in the world of sports, but you could also find voice, acting and singing coaches. Today however, this has all changed. Lifestyle, relationship, personal development, business, soul, life, leadership, executive, career and countless other types of coaching are now widely available. So what can these coaches do for us? The dictionary defines the term "coach" as "someone who instructs or trains others". From this definition, at least we can draw a potential connection between the coaching profession and ourselves. So how do you know if you need a coach? Basically, if there are areas of your life which you would like to improve or enhance, the opportunity exists to employ a coach. The Dream Team In everyday life, we all employ "specialists" to perform various functions because we have neither the skills nor knowledge to do the job. You wouldn't consider attempting to fill a tooth if you had a toothache - you would go to your dentist. Would you complete your own tax return if your objective was to minimize tax exposure - no, you would visit an accountant. If you were feeling ill, you wouldn't (or at least shouldn't) self-medicate - you would contact your doctor. It all comes down to the fact that these professionals have skills and knowledge that provide faster, better, safer and more satisfying results than you could possibly achieve on your own. I refer to this group of people as a "Dream Team" a group of professionals to help you achieve that which you want in the above-mentioned cases, a nice smile, more disposable income and good health. So why stop there? If there are other areas that you want to change, the same principle applies. If you have a desire to improve your levels of health & fitness, you could join a gym. The problem is that the novelty quickly wears off and, unless you are incredibly disciplined, it is difficult to keep going on your own. There is also the dilemma of not knowing which equipment to use or which exercises to do. In fact, a real issue is not having specific goals at all which will leave you lost. The result? You stop going to the gym and your membership fee is wasted. Even worse, you will feel like a failure which in turn will lower your levels of self-esteem, negatively impacting many areas of your life. The solution? Get yourself a personal trainer! Make this person part of your Dream Team. Your trainer (or coach) will help you define your goals, provide a specific program to follow and will also give you moral support. This approach offers a much higher likelihood of accomplishing your goals in this area at a much faster rate. Other areas that most of us want to improve include key relationships, levels of success or financial freedom. Time management and career counseling are other potential areas for improvement. The problem is most of us don't know how to improve or make things better in these areas. We have our own ways of handling things, along with the inherent issues which of course, has us where we are now! We all know that the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting different results! The solution of course, is to change your approach, and that could mean finding someone that can help you in the specific area you want to improve in other words, a coach, to become part of your Dream Team. But Whom Do I Choose? As in all professions, it is a fact that not all coaches are created equal! In order to select a coach, I would recommend spending some time to identify your objectives, create some "interview" questions for potential coaches, define your budget and do some research to compile a list of potential candidates. There are a number of coaching organizations and associations on the web, that have lists of their coaches names, complete with biographies, qualifications and areas of expertise. When interviewing your prospective coach, ask yourself how comfortable you would feel working with the person. Are they someone to whom you would be comfortable sharing personal information? Do you like them? Do they seem to have an action plan and strategy process that will help you achieve your goals? What is their fee and what can you expect for that level of investment? Can you work with them? Is their interest and commitment mainly around helping you or collecting their fees? Interview 3 5 candidates. Once you are comfortable, make a selection and get started! You will quickly be on the road to achieving your goals. Please note one thing; hiring a coach, to help you improve the various areas of your life, requires commitment! The process is likely to take several months and you must be prepared to "do the work" that goes along with affecting change in your life. If you are not fully committed to the process, the result will be frustration (for both of you) and failure, not to mention a bunch of money spent on nothing! Affecting meaningful change will take time. Old habits will need to be broken and new, supportive habits created. It took you years to get where you are today, so it is unreasonable to expect that accomplishment of your goals will occur in just a few weeks! Coaches are not miracle workers; they cannot do the work for you or wave a magic wand to make things easy. What your coach can do is help you to define what it is specifically that you want, work with you to develop strategic and tactical plans of action, provide guidance and moral support in your quest and keep you accountable for following the plan. With commitment, dedication and a good coach, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish! About the Author: Tony Davies is a Business Consultant as well as a Business & Personal Coach. He is an expert in the areas of Leadership and Personal Development and in integrating these two, seemingly different, disciplines. Tony is successful at this as the result of personal experience - a solid business background combined with a passion, and gift, for personal development and helping others. To find out how Tony can help you to live your best life, check out his website at http://www.momentumbusiness.ca, and contact him directly.
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Business Management Can I Be My Own ADD Coach? Quite often I am in contact with people who discuss acting as an ADD Coach for their child or spouse. While supporting and helping loved ones with ADD is a great idea, acting as an ADD Coach really isn't a great idea. There is just way too much emotion involved and an ADD Coach needs to be far enough removed from the situation to be an effective ADD Coach. Miscommunication - Root Cause of Problems? People of two opposing ideas can stir up arguments and fights. It's that situation when one thinks he has the right concept while the other one also believes he has the proper notion. Both of them would try to outsmart each other until one claims victory. Four Common Rapport Building Mistakes and How to Fix Them 1. Pretending You Are Interested When You Are Not Sorry Dr Maslow, I Think You Got It Wrong In the 1950s Abraham Maslow published a book entitled " Motivation and Personality" in which he outlided his now famous Hierarchy of Needs. Over the years since its publication Maslow's work has gained wide acceptance as a tool in understanding human motivation. It has been used in areas as diverse as Consumer Marketing and Christian Evangelism,as well, of course, psychology. Maslow rightly holds a place of high regard in many circles. What I Would Include In A Coaching Book A coach is an essential figure in providing direction and leadership to his/her team. In sports, coaches are sometimes evaluated on the number of wins they can produce. In a business setting, coaches are evaluated on how efficient they are in providing a healthy work environment for employees. If I Only Had a Heart I know you probably have heard of the movie, "The Wizard of Oz" right? Well, for those of you, who have somehow managed to miss this movie, let me give you a brief description of it. Leadership Coaching at Gettysburg The battle at Gettysburg is one of the most notable events in U.S. History. It is a battle where more lives were taken than in any other battle in North America. In this small farming community in 1863, George Meade's Union Army comprising of 90,000 troops met Robert Lee's Confederate Army of 75,000. We can read volumes of literature and accounts of heroes, leaders, front-line soldiers and others directly and indirectly impacted by the event. Certainly there are incredible leadership coaching and other lessons from the lives of these men and women and the strategic events which became the critical turning point in the Civil War. God, Grant Me Patience.....And, I Want It Now!! Are you facing a difficult time in your life? Do you feel like a fish out of water? If today was a fish, would you want to throw it back in the river? If this is your situation, make no negative destructive decisions. Be Patient. Know that time can perform many miracles. Are You Controlling or Loving Yourself? How often do you hear a parental voice in your head that says things like, "You've got to lose weight," or "You should get up earlier every morning and exercise," or "Today I should get caught up on the bills," or "I've got to get rid of this clutter." Let's explore what happens in response to this voice. Where to Begin? January is the king of months for those looking to make new beginnings. After the reflections and indulgences of December, the excitement of a new year unfolding brings contemplation of better days ahead. 5 Keys to Powerful Communication As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family coaching, it is critical to develop strong and clear keys for communication. How many times have you been faced with a difficult feeling or occurrence that you are reluctant to discuss with your partner? You probably thought, "If I just don't say anything, I can get past it"? Plug in Your Systems for Success Have you ever noticed that so many of us who work diligently and ethically rarely achieve our objectives? And, why is it that those who-seemingly-work half as hard and half as long experience one success after another? Think Twice Before Youre Nice A few months back I had a disturbing dream. In my dream a woman with stringy blonde hair rang my bell. She asked if she could come in. I did not want to open the door. But I felt guilty about my reaction. So I let her in. She pulled out a hand gun and shot me. I woke with a start and a racing heart. I clutched my pillow and my life. My inner voice spoke immediately and sharply. "Politeness kills," it said. This was an extreme way to let me know I had to honor my boundaries. I've never liked the word "boundaries." It sounds like barbed wire or armored trucks. But I do like the feeling of listening to my intuition, respecting my inner instructions. And it feels appropriate and sacred to be mindful of my gold. I see many creative, incredible individuals who leak their strength and focus with amorphous personal boundaries. We want to be nice, helpful, and well-liked. But bear in mind that your time and attention are your personal reserves of oxygen and hydration. Time and attention create your life's dreams. Dreams keep your soul alive and contribute to all of humanity. I'd like you to create your life's dreams. That's why I'd like you to reflect on where you put your time and attention. You have a Responsibility to Yourself. You have a mission here. You have sacred work to do. No one but you knows what you came for. The people in our lives may not appreciate the work we feel compelled to do, the dreams we wish to give birth to. They may fling casual, loose, social standards your way, just like tossing horseshoes at a backyard barbecue. I used to have a hard time saying no to lunch dates and coffee. People would often say to me, "You have to eat, right?" and I'd feel found out and exposed, like I was hiding time from this person. And then I'd eat with them--and eat my heart out at the same time. Of course they were wonderful people. Of course I got value out of the time together. But that doesn't mean anything. I'd get value out of reading about the history of socks, too. But I had something specific I yearned to do. I wanted to write a book. I ached when I did not write. Every time I said yes to a lunch date, I said no to my dream. That became too wounding. I learned to say "No." It's not selfish to want to give time to your dream. Your dream will give love and energy into this world. I often think about the people I esteem in life. Mother Teresa had a guiding mission. Martin Luther King had a burning cause. They did not squander their energy or time by being polite. They gave in huge ways because they said no to little things. It's not Selfish to be Honest "I don't want to be selfish," said a client of mine recently who admitted not wanting to get together with a friend. "She needs me." Now there are times when someone needs us and we feel called to be there. That's wonderful. When we're called, it feels good to be there. It doesn't feel like an obligation. It feels like a secret mission or a privilege. But more often than not, someone "needs" us and we're afraid to decline. Here's the thing though. You can't change your feelings. When you truly don't want to do something, it's not doing anyone any favors to lie. Your energy doesn't lie. If you do something you don't want to do, you may just end up being late, angry, sarcastic, withdrawn, and, in general, as mild-mannered as a jackal or a jalapeno pepper. That ride to the airport will be no joyride. And nobody will get what they wanted. What if you could trust your feelings? What if you knew that if you honored your own needs, you would naturally increase your generosity? What if it's okay to just love what you love and dislike what you dislike and gravitate where you are drawn? Why do we secretly think we are being ruthless? What if we are being elegant? What if we are daring to live gracefully by daring to listen to our inner voice? What makes you think that your persistent feelings are wrong? I trust that your soul is pure and precious and knows your highest purpose. And I hope you listen to its promptings more than some sick, guilt-inducing nagging, sagging voice that makes you feel burdened inside. One voice will make you feel heavy and one will make you feel light. One is thudding in the wrong direction. And one is turning right. Your Real Relationships will Support the Real You Often times we're afraid to honor our boundaries, because we don't want to upset the people around us. Indeed some people will balk at your limits and may even suggest that your decreased availability is the first sign of Satan worship or advanced Narcissism. But real relationships support the real you. I have no doubt that my friends would prefer to hear from me more often than they do. But they prefer my authenticity and happiness even more. That's why they're true friends. Some individuals who seem to demand the most of us are energy vampires. They feed on your warmth and pay no heed to your needs. They will demand that you be giving. And you will never give enough. Recently while driving to Northern California where I had a speaking engagement, I decided to stop for a quick break. I chose to wander into a small boutique with painted scarves in its windows. When I got into the shop, the owner started telling me about the sales she had going. I nodded politely. She continued to tell me about the rugs she had imported from Turkey and I found myself hanging on every word though I did not want any rugs or details of her trip. Her enthusiasm kept me paralyzed. I only had a few minutes to stop here and look around. Finally, I excused myself and walked away. The owner followed me and kept talking. She refused to give me space. That's when I walked out of the shop. I decided I did not need to indulge someone who was not respecting me. I breathed in the salt air of that gorgeous ocean town and skipped back to my car. I felt like a fly who had escaped a spider's web. *** Always be kind. But think twice before you are "nice." Nice, is often a mask of pleasantness we put over negative feelings. Nice is often a form of self-rejection. Real kindness feels good. It's when we give because we want to give and we give in ways that respect everyone, including us. If you want to give to others, give truly. Give the exceptional gift of taking care of yourself and tending to your dreams. Give the love that can only come from you expressing your unrivaled talents and devotions on this earth. Follow your calling and draw lines when you must. Doing what matters should never be sacrificed for a false idea of manners. Your Personal Treasure Chest Sometimes it is helpful to review several of the basic components of THE ENCHANTED SELF. That's what I've decided to do this time. Corporate Coaching and Employees: One Step Ahead "Don't shoot... We're on the same side." Managing Your Perfectionism What Is Perfectionism? Let Go of Your Past People have a difficult time letting go of the past because they are held back by unfinished business. They may regret choices they have made or feel guilty about past actions. As long as guilt and regret are not resolved, it is difficult to move forward. How To Give Criticism Without Bruising Egos As responsible employers, parents, and friends, we have an obligation to correct the mistakes of other people in order to enhance their personal success. The task before us is how to correct a deficiency without damaging the delicate ego that can sometimes get in the way. Too often people criticize someone's behavior without providing a solution and this is detrimental because it then becomes a personal attack on the person that only aims to demerit them. Constructive criticism involves pointing out their weakness and offering a solution to correct it. In order to give constructive criticism, we must seek the solution to the problem before we point it out to the person. By doing this, we effectively separate the behavior from the ego and preserve the relationship in the process. Forget Resolutions - Craft A Life Theme That Works How many people do you know who, in January, enthusiastically name their resolution for the year yet somehow neglect to follow through with it a few weeks or months later? Forget making New Year's resolutions. They rarely work because they are often based on "shoulds" versus the bigger picture of your life. What I've found does work is creating a life theme for the year ahead. Your life theme will be your overriding intention or "big picture" focus for the upcoming months. It has an expiration date of December 31, when you'll get a chance to re-evaluate your direction. Having a life theme is like having a personal mission statement for your whole life, personal and professional, updated annually. A life theme works because it takes into consideration and connects all your intentions for the year in a succinct and powerful phrase. This collection of one to five words describes what you want to accomplish in all areas of your life and cements your main priorities with intended action. Discover Your Intentions Perhaps as you've explored who you are and what you want to create for your life, you've noticed that "Wellbeing" or "Wellness" has come up for you over and over. Or perhaps you've noticed more of a "Relationship" theme. Or maybe the word "Passion" has tugged at your heart repeatedly, or you've focused on "Patience." These are all great themes for the upcoming year. Through your own personal discovery, you may recognize that you haven't made time in your life for many friends, that your networks are weak and that you would like to have a social circle beyond your immediate family. Your life theme in this case could be "Connection." It may be you've realized that your life is far more filled with work and errands than with fun and play, and you want to fix that imbalance. Your life theme then could be "Energize." Feel the Magic Base your theme on what you find joyful and what you want to accomplish both personally and professionally. Your theme needs to strike an emotional chord with you and bring a smile to your face when your say it. You must own it. You must feel your theme's magic. It must propel you forward. Now take a few moments to reflect on the bigger picture vision you have for your life. What would you like to accomplish first? What will bring you joy and fulfillment with your work, your family, and your personal time? What is the essence of what you wish to experience in this upcoming year? When you have an idea of what it is you wish to create and who you want to "be," take some time to meditate or concentrate on developing your life theme. The right phrase for you may come to you immediately, or it may take some time to evolve. Brief is Best When the phrase does reveal itself to you, try to keep it to a maximum of five words. Brief is better. Feel the power of these concise life themes: "Let go. Rebuild. Move Forward. Growth and Independence. Balance and Follow-through. Connection. Stretch. Calm and Quiet." You might have to live with your life theme for a week before you know that it's the one that will speak to you for the next year. You will know when you've got it. Get Started Once your life theme is clear, write it down. Put it where you will see it every day as a reminder of where you are heading in 2005. Tell loved ones, friends and colleagues what your life theme is. The more often you say it and share the more real it will become. Every time you make a decision large and small put it through your life theme filter. If your theme is "connection" say yes to building friendships, social invitations and neighborhood parties. If your theme is "adventure and fun" perhaps you say no that new pair of shoes and yes to signing up for a rock climbing course. The most surefire method to ensuring you live your life theme is to ask yourself every morning when you wake "what can I do today to experience my life theme." The key to success is to be intentional with your thoughts and actions on a daily basis. By living intentionally and with purpose you'll never feel the need to make another New Year's resolution again. Reduce Anxiety About Decison Making What's the alternative to making decisions?
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