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Purpose
Many people go through much of their lives without really thinking about their purpose. I don't mean a lofty, philosophic, and often unrealistic purpose that has us striving to save the world or solve the challenge of poverty throughout the world (although these are both admirable for those whose true purpose is to do so). What I am talking about is the individual and unique purpose that drives and grounds us. The one thing that gives meaning to our lives and motivates us to achieve our potential. Purpose is best expressed in two parts. The first part is fixed. This is the intrinsic nature or core of who we are. It describes the "what" of our purpose and does not change over time or across situations. The second part is variable. It is "how" we express our purpose and can change over time or across situations. The "how" represents the actions that we take in the fulfillment of our purpose. When our actions are synchronized with our purpose, we will not only perform our best but we will also feel our best. For example, in my previous management roles, I always found myself feeling the most satisfied and energized both during and after helping one of my team members solve a particularly challenging situation. As I was to discover, this reflected the fact that this situation or activity was in sync with my purpose which was to "help others to help themselves" (the "what") by coaching people to explore their options and discover their capabilities (the "how"). In my current coaching practice, the work I do with my clients is one of the most satisfying times in my day as it allows me to fully express my purpose. One way of viewing our lives and our state of being is as a system. When part of that system is out of sync with the rest, we cease to function efficiently and effectively. When our actions are out of sync with our purpose, we do not function at our best. This is what happens when we spend our time focused on material and external rewards. We fail to truly attend to our purpose and risk working against our true nature. This leads to both dissatisfaction and unhappiness as we go through life trying to swim against our natural flow. If we focus our efforts on fulfilling our purpose, the material and external rewards will follow or, more often than not, will lose their importance. Even without these rewards, our lives will be much more fulfilling and this will lead to greater satisfaction. Purpose is particularly important in the fulfillment of our potential as it represents the ultimate commitment in our life. When we use our capabilities in activities that serve our purpose, we achieve a state in which our skills and our commitment are highly synchronized. In this state we are achieving what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi refers to as flow in his books "Flow" and "Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life" (I highly recommend these books). When we are in flow, we are at the highest level of engagement in what we do and are the most contented. For many of us, this state is achieved without awareness. All we know is that we are thoroughly and completely enjoying what we do. In identifying our purpose, there are a number of things that we can do. First, we can attend to situations in which we have achieved a state of flow. What are we doing when we are most contented? What activities provide us with the most enjoyment and satisfaction? When do we feel the most challenged and that we have the capabilities to meet these challenges head on? The activities in which we are engaged in during these situations represent the expression of our purpose. In examining these expressions of purpose we can discover the very essence of who we are. Second, we can look at where we have achieved the most success. Through examination of our successes we can discover both what we do well and what brings us satisfaction. Third, we can look at what we dream of doing and why. Our dreams provide us with great insight into where we can achieve potential and thus satisfy our purpose. Finally, we can follow our hearts. When we over-use our great ability to think and analyze in discovering our purpose, we too often begin to judge and, as result, limit our possibilities. Do not worry if you are uncertain about your purpose. Most of us do not discover our purpose without a lot of effort while some of us know right away. Look at discovering your purpose as an exciting journey. One that will allow you to better understand who you are and of what you are capable. Copyright © 2005 by Peter Cartmill, All rights reserved. Peter Cartmill is a Personal and Career Coach and the founder of GreatAspirations.ca. To learn more about how Coaching can benefit you, visit http://www.greataspirations.ca
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Business Management Mid Life Crisis, Life Transitions, & Ontological Coaching Recently I have been watching a TV show called Blowout. It is a reality show about a hair designer, Jonathan Antin who struggles to get his Beverly Hills salon up and running. Not only do the Hollywood stars visit his shop but also many other women come in for makeovers with the hope that they too will look like the rich and famous. In fact, when their makeovers are finished they really do look more glamorous than when they walked in. Actually, the TV is filled with shows like these including the famous Extreme Makeover and Dr. 90214, which depicts Beverly Hill's plastic surgeons reshaping and changing the appearances of women of all ages. In these shows the women, in particular, discuss how they feel stuck in a midlife crisis or are anxious about a life transition. Executive Coaching and the American President Perhaps no one better than a former U.S. president has the right to advise executives: "The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it." -Theodore Roosevelt Trump University - Why Success Education Is Important Trump University recently unveiled offers a bonanza of success secrets, success tips and success insights. Coaches, Do You Make These 7 Deadly Cash Flow Mistakes in Your Practice? Managing cash flow is every small business owner's most important function. Avoid these seven deadly mistakes to make sure you aren't creating cash flow problems in your coaching practice. I Give Free Consultations... So, Why Dont They Hire Me? I show my clients a way to answer the question, "So, What Do You Do?" quickly and effectively. What I sometimes hear afterwards is, The Difference Between Approval and Appreciation Having worked with individuals, couples, families and business partners for 35 years, helping them learn to resolve conflict, I have often been faced with the difficulties that occur when people are confused about the difference between approval with appreciation. Have you ever wondered about the difference between approval and appreciation? Most of us have never actually thought about it, yet if we do think about it, we realize that we feel very differently when we receive approval as opposed to receiving appreciation. There are good reasons for this. How to Control Your Anger: Retreat and Think Things Over How to Control Your Anger: Retreat and Think Things Over Coaching Employees - The Chronic Excuser Most of us find coaching employees to be an effective, even enjoyable, approach to leadership and management. Coaching provides a way to help team members grow and develop, while achieving business objectives. But occasionally, we encounter a team member who has an excuse for every situation. How can we help team members like this accept responsibility and focus on solutions, rather than dwell on the reasons why things aren't accomplished? How can we ensure that we really gain commitment and consensus on plans, assignments, and projects Nourishing Your Network It takes less effort to keep an existing customer than to gain a new customer. Is The Apprentice Bad For Your Health? If you know who I mean when I say Kwame, Bill and Troy, you are probably a fan of The Apprentice. I admit I'm not a fan myself; I don't watch much television and that particular show did not grab my interest enough to be "appointment" watching. I have, however, followed its popularity with interest, for various reasons. A Coaching Secret I've told people for a long time that one of the "secrets" of coaching is forgiveness. Forgiveness takes your finger out of the dyke of the past so you can let the future flow. Buddha said, "forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past." It is an act of total volition, requiring only a softening of the heart. But how do you forgive the unforgivable? Ten Benefits of Having a Relationship Coach As a Master Certified Relationship Coach, I work with singles to help them attract a great match and with couples to help put their relationships back on track. I hear great feedback from my clients about the value of coaching. Top Ten Tips for Living Authentically 1. Know your purpose How To Improve Your Selling Skills -- With Coaching Skills But people love being coached. It's respectful and considerate of their needs. it helps them focus on what is right for them. In fact, it's all about them - the client. It doesn't matter to you if you make a sale or not, and they appreciate that? in fact, they just may buy something from you after all? you are so 'nice' and honest! What in the World is Life Coaching? In my speaking engagements I have often compared coaching today to psychotherapy in the 1920s. The level of public understanding of coaching, outside of people in a certain socio-demographic category, is still in its infancy. We are all so saturated with the language of psychoanalysis it's difficult to read a book or watch a movie that isn't premised on this shared language that we probably don't consider there was once a time when practitioners were asked: How to Make $100,000 Dollars as a Personal Trainer Part B for Business! My name is Greg Ryan. For the last twenty years I have counseled thousands of personal trainers, fitness directors and gym owners on how be successful in the health and fitness industry. No matter where I go in the world, no matter the size of the gym the biggest reason for their lack of success is all the same. My question is, "Do you want to be a mediocre Personal Trainer or do you want to be a GREAT one? Think, Pause & Talk There are two kinds of peoples we generally face in every walk of life If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change Your Approach And ironically the more we worry about it, the more tense we get and the more likely we are to say something stupid. Lessons from Donald Trump and The Apprentice: A Career Coachs Perspective What can we learn about careers from watching Donald Trump and The Apprentice? Kabbalah Coach: Love the One Youre With Introduction
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