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How to Save Yourself from Negative Influences
Watching the news can be hazardous to your health. It's a fact, especially when you are watching events related to terrorism, kidnapping, murder, accidents, or calamities. These incidents make you worry and will leave you feeling weak and insecure. Imagine the uncomfortable feeling of becoming a victim someday. This will have a negative effect on your outlook in life. Your surroundings have a big impact on you. How can you think and grow rich if you are bombarded with messages that relates "how difficult life has become" or "how poor most of us has turned out to be?" You can't change your environment, but you certainly can control your mind. This is where visualization comes into play. Use your imagination, just as you would when you are still a little child. Imagine your home as a palace, your simple meal as fine dining gourmet, and your nearby park as your favorite vacation spot. Just imagine. Unconsciously, your thoughts will transform the images into their physical components. If the media can indirectly influence you just by reporting what's happening around, imagine what impact everyday people have on you. These are the people that you see and meet everyday. These are also the same people who are expressing their own views of what is right and what is wrong. When we grow up in a negative environment, we tend to acquire the traits and characteristics of people around us. Many gangsters have been brought up by folks who have either misguided them or have taught them the wrong things in life. Through the years, they have instilled within themselves the vices of people around them. Here's another case. Pick a nice person, throw him in a group of bad-mouthed individuals who incorporates swear words in their everyday language. Sooner or later, you'll notice that nice person speaking in the same manner as the group. This just goes to say that anyone who joins in the company of a like-minded group will have a big chance of being influenced by the personality of that group. So what can you do if you are surrounded by people who deviates from your way of thinking? You can't just avoid them. They'll think of you as a snob. Don't change the way you treat them, but simply learn how to shield out pessimistic comments or suggestions. Sometimes, they will dictate you to do what you are against to do. Be firm with what you believe in. Do not let them affect your decisions. You know that you can do what they thought would be impossible. If you have to suffer the ridicule, so be it. You will have the last laugh anyway. Moreover, you should be with people who have the same principles and ideologies as you do. You will be more encouraged to continue your dreams if you have a support group or mentor who will prod you to pursue your goals despite the setbacks. When I was starting my internet endeavors, no one (and I mean not even one) of my relatives and friends believed me. But I did not let their discouragement stop me from becoming successful. I remained firm in my quest to make a living online. I made friends with respected internet marketers who shared the same vision as mine. They have also experienced the same treatment from non-believers; but they have proven that what the mind can conceive, it can achieve. Through their help, I was able to put aside my doubts and achieve my goals. You have the power to make your dreams a reality. Now show the world what stuff you are made of. Michael Lee is the author of "How To Be A Red Hot Persuasion Wizard," an ebook that reveals powerful secrets on how to easily make friends, fully improve your relationships, multiply your profits, win negotiations, and attain freedom and power. Visit http://www.20daypersuasion.com to grab a sample chapter.
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Business Management Do you know WHAT MAKES ME MAD? It makes me SO MAD I just want to... Sound familiar? If you want to manage anger, the only way of doing so is to listen to your self-talk. This doesn't mean listening to yourself talk. It means listening to your SELF-TALK. Your Mindset Determines Your Success in Life To keep at the top of your game you have to keep a clear head. You can't afford to fill up on news and negativity. The world's overflowin' with it and the only way to be a winner is to be in control of your thoughts. Be A Champion Communicator by Becoming a Chameleon Recently, I worked with a client who was having a problem with some of the women in her organization. The organization had just undergone major changes, which resulted in different reporting relationships for many of the women. The problem was that the women were having trouble effectively communicating with their new bosses. Our Worst Enemy Who do you consider as your worst enemy? The criminals roamingthe dark streets? Your boss who's killing you mentally andemotionally with stress and harsh words? The people in office who are engaging in graft and corruption, instead of helpingthose in need? Getting What You Need: Ask For Help! "Fortune befriends the bold." - John Dryden Two Leadership Strategies: Don't Lose Your Mind & Be a Coach Are you feeling overwhelmed, a lack of confidence or under a ton of pressure? Are you trying too hard to make something work and focusing too much on trying to fulfill other people's needs and expectations? You may have "lost your mind!" Secrets of Creating Interpersonal Power If you work with people, as a company owner, manager and team leader or on the customer interface, your impact on others is your most important asset! Someone creating 'Interpersonal Power', as I see it, has the ability to inspire, motivate and facilitate outstanding action in another. Value Based Leadership Coaching What can I do to be a better coach? The Eight Step Coaching Model describes the process, yet too often the focus is on techniques only. "How can I say it to win my point, get others to do things my way, or convince them?" Focusing only on one technique is fundamentally manipulative. Good leadership coaching, like good parenting, is a way of being as well as doing. This way of being, or our values, drives our behaviors. Like Olympic figure skaters, coaches should evaluate themselves in two areas; skills and style, the expression of your values. Pecked to Death By Ducks Ever been in a situation where it seems like minor criticisms are all you hear? Sure, there are things you could improve, you know that . . . but a constant peck, peck, peck of negative feedback sure doesn't motivate you to change! One of my mentors called this gradual chipping away at one's self esteem, "being pecked to death by ducks." How to deal with it? There are ducks outside my window as I write . . . and I know that one sure way to make them go away, is to stop feeding them. Ducks need to eat a lot, and eat often, to keep going. If they can't get food from you, they'll try someplace else. So . . . how can you make this work for your brand of "ducks"? What about figuring out what there is about you that's FEEDING them? For example, are you reacting to their pecks? (Psychologists tell us that some people use a negative approach to get the attention they crave.) Are you working harder in response to their criticism? (When you do this, you are exhausting yourself and adding chocolate sauce to their dessert! The pecking won't end, I guarantee it.) I believe we feed our ducks when we take words of criticism home and brood. Most of us are programmed to take criticism much more seriously than we do praise, and many of us make almost a career out of taking criticism home to chew over . . . and over . . . and again. When Duck A criticizes me for DOING x, I have a choice. Take it home and make it last . . . or look the criticism in the face. If it's fair and valid, I may decide to stop x-ing (it's my choice). In fact, Duck A may have done me a good turn -- and one way to keep this in mind is to say (over and over if necessary), "It's about what I DO, it's not who I BE." A WORD ABOUT SYSTEMIC DUCK FEEDERS: Some organizations and groups encourage anonymous feedback, in the mistaken belief that this provides a safe environment for honest communication. WRONG! Anonymous feedback promotes dysfunctional systems . . . and dysfunctional systems are essentially "duck food silos." (I put a spin on an old mantra, "If you can't say it to his/her face, don't say it at all." Of course, sometimes we need help -- a mentor, an advocate, a companion, a safe structure. But whatever it takes, in healthy systems, constructive, behavior-focused criticism comes with a name attached, and if at all possible, is given face-to- face.) Finally: HOW NOT TO BE A DUCK: Before YOU criticize, think clearly. Figure out what is really bugging you. And then speak directly to the person with whom you have a problem. Use 'I' statements (a skill unknown to ducks, as far as I know). Rehearse ahead of time to be sure you are focused on behavior (Do-ing), not Be-ing. A good rule is to ask yourself, "How would this sound if she (or he) were talking to ME?" © Maureen Killoran, 2005 Choosing The Perfect Coach So, you are ready to start coaching. You either have some issues that you think a coach can help you overcome, or you just think it's time for a quality of life tune-up. You've reviewed your budget and set aside some money to cover the fees and you've ascertained that you are reasonably free of any serious mental or emotional issues that might interfere with the process. But now comes the big question: "How can I find a coach that's right for me?" Budda In Your Back Pocket The other day I was late for something. Not very late. In fact, I was actually on time but an angry voice berated me anyway, saying, "You are late! There will be no seats left. You wouldn't run late if you were more organized!" It was a terrible feeling, especially because the voice was partially right. How Do You Build Momentum in Your Business and Life? A few weeks ago at a "Leadership from the Ground Up" conference, Donald Trump spoke about the ingredients for success. I found his topic on momentum very intriguing. My thoughts have been returning to his presentation in my mind ever since. Keeping Your Anger Under Control In my work with individuals and couples, I see many people who have a difficult time expressing and managing angry feelings. Let's take a look at what causes people to become angry and how they can respond to stressful situations more productively. Managing Your Perfectionism What Is Perfectionism? Becoming An Information Filter And A Knowledge Sponge As the title states, "Become an Information Filter and a Knowledge Sponge." On your daily journey to achieve your WHY, you will travel through many different avenues and sometimes you will ask yourself, "Why do I need to meet this person or experience this situation?" The key is to truly understand that you must become an information filter and use your personal God-given filters -- your eyes and your ears. I always say that you were born with 4 inputs (2 eyes, 2 ears) and 1 output (mouth). Q-Tip It! Back in the 1920's when Polish-American entrepreneur Leo Gerstenzang invented cotton swabs as a safer way to clean his baby's ears, he called his product "Q-Tip." Actually, his first name-choice was "Baby Gay" but that did not sell, so the by-now familiar name emerged. Mr. Gerstenzang chose "Q" for Quality . . . and he must have been on to something, because Q-Tip has become a household word (and we've developed a whole 'nother set of connotations for 'Baby Gay.') Corporate Coaching - Why Coach? C(5)+ED Is it possible to make a strong "business case for corporate coaching?" Why is coaching vital to organizations? Why should leaders invest time developing their coaching skills? These are tough, important questions that organizations should consider before implementing coaching. How to Optimize the Awesome Power of Thoughts and Imagination Have you encountered a time when you were in a traffic jam and was running late for an important meeting? Did you stay calm and focused? Or did your mind wander into the dark side of the impending consequences that may occur? Coaching for Results He's a very successful sales manger who craves results. He can't be bothered with people who don't produce. They are losers. He always produces the numbers year after year. The question is does he do it through bullying or coaching? How to Effectively Balance Your Work and Family Life What Is Your Definition of Success?
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