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The Incredible Rightness of Being
An Age-Old Question Searching for more meaning in our lives has been an age-old preoccupation for us humans. Why am I here? What am I meant to do? What's the point of it all? And, most importantly in the modern-day world, what is it that will make me happy? Dissatisfaction, or "Gimme More!" It is human nature that when we feel dissatisfied with something - be it our jobs, our homes, our relationships, or even our lives in general - we feel there is something missing. And where there's something missing, we naturally decide that we want MORE of something. The Evolution of "More" In her book, "Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction", Laura Berman Fortgang makes an interesting observation. She has noticed that the nature of the "more" has changed over the past few decades. In the late 80's and early 90's, people were interested in having more things in their outer experience - more money, more status. We thought that the key to happiness lay in our outer experience, in the external, tangible world. In the mid- to late- 90's, the sought-after "more" was time, that fleeting intangible. We wanted more time so that we could do more, spend more time with our families, have more fun. We were still focusing on an external experience, though now an intangible one. "Work-life balance" became the catchphrase, with people frantically rushing to get more rest. More recently, it seems that our cultural sense of "more" has once again shifted. Perhaps it is that we are beginning to realize that we may not be able to fully achieve happiness exclusively through external experiences. We are, as a group, shifting to a more core, internal, and personal definition of meaning. So yes, despite the cliché of it, we are finally beginning to realize that we are human beings, not human havings or human doings. Meaning, Please! Perhaps this change was spurred on by the catastrophe of 9/11, perhaps by the changing of the millennium, or maybe it's just another cultural meme. But today, more and more people are realizing that their priorities have been a bit out of whack, that there's a huge unfulfilled potential within themselves. And that it is this unused, unexamined, and untapped part of ourselves that is the ultimate source of our internal disquiet. The "If Only" Game It is a cliché to say that the answer lies within. But, as with most clichés, it also holds the seed of truth. It is common for us to blame our general sense of vague malaise (and in some cases our acute suffering) on external things. It's easy to see this if we play the "if only" game. If only I had more money; if only I got that promotion; if only I knew what I wanted to do; if only I lost that weight; if only she'd love me; if only I hadn't married him; if only I'd had different parents... Then I'd be happy and fulfilled. The Keys to the Kingdom, or, "Mommy, Where Does Meaning Come From?" But the path to true happiness really lies in that simple little word: BE. In some ways, easier said than done. The real learning starts when you become accustomed to listening to that small, still voice within, and to follow its guidance. By being yourself, and being true to your unique inner promptings, you are then able to live out your full potential, in full alignment with your true self. That is where meaning comes from. And that is the goal of Inklings - to share with you tips and tools to better connect with your inner knowing. Wisdom Through the Ages What I present is perhaps just a slightly simplified view of human evolution over the past several decades. Many greater thinkers than I have also pondered these issues over the years. I'd like to share with you some of their thoughts. Socrates: To do is to be So what's the bottom line, how can we distill the essence of this great wisdom? Learn to listen for who you really are and, most important of all, don't forget to laugh - and to laugh at yourself! Plant the Seeds: Now it's your turn. Take a couple of minutes and think about these questions. You may want to write down your answers. Really. Take out a pen. Open a new file. Your inner knowing will often come out through writing. 1. What is it that you've been pursuing "more" of over the years? How has this changed over time? Be specific. 2. Play a round (or two, or ten) of the "if only" game. What have you blamed over the years for your sense of dissatisfaction? Think back, and be specific. At the end of each round, don't forget to chuckle a little to yourself. 3. What insights into your current situation do you get from your answers to these questions? 4. Try it out: set aside 5 (just five!) minutes every day to just BE. No distractions, no thoughts, no worries, no to-do lists. After a week or two, see what you got from this experience. Inna Nirenburg is a powerful life coach and workshop leader. She uses her deep wisdom and intuition, as well as a concrete actionable process, to help you answer the question "What's Next?" in all areas of your life. See www.heyWhatsNext.com for more information.
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Business Management How to Choose the Right Coach for You So you want to hire a coach but with so many choices it's easy to feel overwhelmed. How do you find the coach that is right for you? It can seem like a daunting task so here are some guidelines to help you make the right decision for you. What Rules! There are things that we do automatically internally that we don't even realize are the things that make us who we are. Our own rules for living that we hardly ever question, and even less frequently examine. The Amazing Secret To Ridding Yourself Of Self Consciousness One of the biggest challenges to developing superior communication skills is that you already have your hands full in those situations where you need help. Take a typical scenario - meeting new people. Take Responsibility for Reshaping Your Life We say we want to eat better, feel better, and look better. But in order to make our goals materialize, we have to take responsibility for what we want by taking the appropriate actions. Here are three simple steps to help you turn your healthy goals into concrete accomplishments: How To Gain Control Of Your Life "The latter part of a wise man's life," said Jonathan Swift, "is taken up in curing the follies, prejudices, and false opinions he had contracted in the former." Freedom for All; Is it Possible? Freedom for all species and people, and freedom of stress; is it possible? Could the Internet be a tool to getting there? Nourishing Your Network It takes less effort to keep an existing customer than to gain a new customer. The Right Time and Place (Channelled) Personal Strategic Planning I have a few questions for you ---What if we as individuals adapted and utilized some of the same tried and true processes and methods that have given businesses the edge they need to succeed over their competition? My sense is that understood and implemented correctly professionals would be able to gain the same competitive advantage. Remarkably, this is not anything overly complicated or new and I can't take credit for developing it. But I can (and will) take credit for suggesting we take it out of the boardroom and adapt it for personal use to achieve greater personal and professional success. This classic business tool is the process of Strategic Planning. Whats Next Syndrome Terms like Postpartum, Post Traumatic and Post Gulf War are all well-known Syndromes - mysteries no longer to the medical community or even those of us who count ourselves among the great unwashed. We hear and read everyday about the negative outcomes from life-threatening trauma. The 9/11 attacks in New York City demonstrate all too clearly the psychological devastation left behind long after upsetting occurrences. Cause and Effect! Choose a Path Three steps to your Personal Transformation: The Art of Change We don't change. I imagine such a statement could find a lot of opinionated opposition if it implied a lack of growth, whether that be on a knowledgeable level, a logical or spiritual one, but in this case we refer to ourselves and who we are in relation to who we were when we decided to grace this world with our presence. Lessons from Donald Trump and The Apprentice: A Career Coachs Perspective What can we learn about careers from watching Donald Trump and The Apprentice? Top Ten Things You Would Never Hear a Coach Say (or then again?!) When coaching, it's all about the client, be that as a professional coach, or a line manager/business owner using coaching skills in their own business, with their own people. But it's so easy sometimes to turn the tables and be the client..oh, so easy...:-) Coaching: Change Made Simple Here's a story that I think gets at why we have such difficulty with change. Free Advice From Albert Einstein What If You Could Ask Anyone For Help? Are You Worth Investing In? Do you realise that if you are green you are growing and if you are ripe you are rotten? So says Winston Marsh, Business Marketing Guru in his recent newsletter. What You See is What You Get H. Jackson Brown Jr. once wrote, Your mind can only hold one thought at a time, make it a positive and constructive one. As simple as these words may seem, they are in fact, very true. You see, if you are looking for a way to feel better at any given moment, all you have to do is change what you are focusing on. Your brain is a very powerful tool that you own and you should use to your advantage. Four Common Rapport Building Mistakes and How to Fix Them 1. Pretending You Are Interested When You Are Not Going Beyond Life Coaching In Corrogue the air is chill and the frost is on the ground.
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