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The Story ?From the Chicken Coop?
Many years ago my grandfather, had a small farm and chickens. One morning he sent me out to the chicken coop to collect fresh eggs. He became concerned when I did not return after a shot interval. When he came looking for me I jumped with joy, but he saw tears in my eyes and noticed that I was in an adjacent empty chicken coop, which could be entered only through the same door as the occupied coop. When he noticed my distress and asked, "What was wrong?" I told him tearfully, "that nasty rooster, who was now docile, in my grandfather's presence, came pecking after me and all the hens started cackling, which scared me, and I ran into the next coop for safety." He took me by my hand and we walked right by the now quiet nasty rooster and comfortable nesting hens. We sat under the apple tree, and he related the following story. "Did you notice how that rooster and hens behaved when I came in? Totally different than when you first came in." I shouted, "The rooster and hens seemed to pounce on me." My grandfather then said, "That's a new rooster the neighbor gave me. All your life you are going to come across people who will act like that rooster and hens. Only in different ways! It's natural for that rooster to protect his coop and his hens. The rooster is the leader and the hen's followers. Same with people! It doesn't matter whether they are men or women. There will always be people who will try to lead your life and if you let them, you will become like the hens." "But to be the leader, you have to first be able to lead your own life and be the rooster of your actions. You can be like the rooster leading the hens, only they will be people. Most of us in life are followers, like the hens and some stay hidden in their own chicken coops, like you did." "That doesn't mean that the rooster in us is bad or nasty, like the one you just experienced, that's just the way some people naturally are, at least in their own minds. But did you notice the respect and the way he quieted down when I came in? He saw me in his perception as a bigger, stronger and probably smarter rooster than he is. Which I am and so are you. But you did not think or believe it strong enough for him to perceive it. Next time before you walk in, believe that that rooster is just a tiny, sweet chirping chick, and those hens are laying beautiful golden eggs, that we can have for breakfast." Then he did the smartest move and took me back to the chicken coop, walked away and said "now go in and pick those golden eggs for breakfast." Strange, even while I was still scared I boldly walked into the chicken coop, ignored the rooster and picked up our golden eggs for breakfast. As we ate breakfast, he chuckled "don't you ever forget," as he whimsically smiled at my grandmother, "that you will always meet the roosters and hens in your life. But it's the rooster in you and all of us that separates you from the he and she hens! And will keep you "From the Chicken Coop". Copyright © 2004 Ted Borgeas, All Rights Reserved You have permission to publish this article in your ezine or on your web site, free of charge, as long as the byline is included. You may not use this article in any publication that is not-optin (spam). A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.
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Then Don't Talk ?Listen Recently my friend Michelle was concerned about a professional conference she was planning to attend with her husband, a veterinarian. She has no background in veterinary science, so she did not think she would be able to effectively communicate with the people at the conference. I asked her why she thought she had to use technical jargon when she spoke to the other conference attendees. She responded that she wanted them to think well of her. Michelle is a warm, caring individual who is genuinely interested in others. I assured her that she could effectively relate to the people she met by asking them questions about themselves and their businesses instead of trying to impress them with her knowledge of veterinary science. Fear of Intimacy Emotional intimacy is one of the most wonderful experiences we ever have. Nothing else really comes close to the experience of sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings with another, of being deeply seen and known, of sharing love, passion, laughter, joy, and/or creativity. The experience of intimacy fills our souls and takes away our loneliness. Creating An Effective Toolbox For Success WHAT'S IN YOUR TOOLBOX? Coaching Skills and Positive Motivation There is one important point that is often missed in the discussion of Coaching Skills: Effective coaching is a great deal more than just problem solving. Many people misinterpret coaching as only a corrective process aimed at specific error and deficiencies of an individual. Actually, the use of coaching skills doesn't always have to be driven by problems. Challenges, opportunities, and obstacles that transcend any one member of the organization can be the motivating force. This type of coaching is very exciting to do. It is less personalized in nature and therefore not as stressful or tense. 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Successful Implementation of Company Wide Coaching Programmes Ten years ago I was fortunate enough to be heavily involved in the implementation of a company wide coaching programme, both as an employee who was to receive coaching but also as a manager and coach who was expected to regular coach my reports and my peers to enable them to achieve their objectives. I say, fortunate enough, because I found that when I was coached effectively I became really motivated and focused, and when I finally became a proficient coach, I again found it motivational in that I was able to support and enable my direct reports to achieve more.
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