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Skills for Change
The name of the game is CHANGE -- that's true at work, and it's also true in life. In both situations there are FOUR skills you can trust: 1. LISTEN TO YOURSELF. Try to trust your intuitive judgement. Often, this displays itself as the very first thought you have in a given situation. Another suggestion here is to use a small notebook to record your thoughts and ideas, how you are feeling at any moment, and any new thought about a plan or a purpose. 2. FOCUS ON ONE ?- OR A FEW -- ACTIONS AT A TIME; PRIORITIZE. Success, as change, occurs as a series of small steps. You don't have to tackle everything at once, just as you don't have to eat a whole meal in a single gulp. Take it easy. Think, "One thing at a time," then act on each thought, complete each action before going on to the next. 3. GIVE YOURSELF TIME. Science has shown that it takes many repetitions to establish a new pattern in humans...it takes about 21 days to establish a habit (or extinguish one). Be patient with yourself. 4. REVIEW ACTION IDEAS DAILY. Make a TO DO list every day (or every evening for the next day, or every Friday for Monday). Keep your action list out in the open, where you can see it, edit it, check off completed items, etc. And be aware of STRESS and how it affects you. Change on the outside usually produces some signals, symptoms or signs on the inside. Let's look now at THREE CATEGORIES in which you'll receive signals -- stress warnings that you should pay attention to. - Physical signals may include headaches, rashes, feelings of exhaustion, stomach upset, minor pains and aches, and so on. - Mental signals negative thoughts, confusion, inability to concentrate, reduced productivity, sleeplessness, or forgetfulness. - Emotional signals anxiety, fear, feelings of frustration, depression, withdrawal, feelings of helplessness or powerlessness. Which of these signals might you be feeling these days? Pay attention to them. Perhaps it would help to write them down, get them outside of yourself so you can see them more clearly. To repeat: What's going on physically? What's going on mentally? What's going on emotionally? Next, let's look at some of the things you can do to counteract the feelings that come up in changing times. There are four major categories of action from which you can get some relief from the stress responses to change. 1. DIET. Eat at least three meals a day and drink lots of water (remember that coffee, tea, and colas don't count as waterBalance your intake of carbohydrates, proteins, and fats. Maintain low-fat, low-sugar intake. Restrict alcohol use. If this information is new to you, or if you don't understand some of the basic principles of nutrition, seek out professional advice from your doctor, then perhaps enroll in a structured weight control program (Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and so forth). This course of action is particularly advisable if you are chronically overweight, underweight or if your weight varies widely and/or quickly. 2. REST. It's more than just a good night's sleep. Arrange for some quiet time each day -- read, meditate, listen to music, or look at art. Refrain from eating late at night, and try doing relaxation exercises before bedtime. 3. EXERCISE. Walking is good...can you do it daily? Work out aerobically at least three time a week for at least 20 minutes at a time; participate in a game or sport, if you can, on a regular basis...by the way, bowling counts! 4. RECHARGING. Schedule regular time with family, friends. Don't talk about work or other problems, just enjoy their company. Establish, revise, review and record personal and professional goals. Meditation is productive here, as is yoga (for some), prayer (for others) or hand-oriented hobbies such as model building, whittling or playing a musical instrument. Also, take a few moments once or twice a week to assess what you've accomplished during the interval since your last assessment. You may be pleasantly surprised at just how much you've accomplished. Copyright 2002, 2005 Optimum Performance Associates/Paul McNeese. Paul McNeese is CEO of Optimum Performance Associates, a consulting firm specializing in transitional and transformational change for individuals and institutions through publication. His publishing company, OPA Publishing, is an advocacy for self-publishing authors of informational, instructional, inspirational and insightful nonfiction. Email: pmcneese@opapublishing.com
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Business Management Addiction to Worry Carole started counseling with me because she was depressed. She had been ill with chronic fatigue syndrome for a long time and believed her depression was due to this. In the course of our work together, she became aware that her depression was actually coming from her negative thinking - Carole was a constant worrier. Many words out of her mouth centered around her concerns that something bad might happen. "What if I never get well?" "What if my husband gets sick?" "What if I run out of money?" (Carole and her husband ran a very successful business and there was no indication that it would not go on being successful). "What if my son gets into drugs?" "What if my kids don't get into good colleges?" "What if someone breaks into the house?" Why Daily Planning is So Important for Adults with ADD For adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), details are a drag. We tend to see the big picture and want to jump straight to the finish line, wishing we could skip all the steps in between. Unfortunately, this perspective often causes us to become overwhelmed when it's time to start a project. We know where we want to end up, but we don't know where to start. Curbing the Public Nuisance (Part 1) He's been around since the dawn of humanity. His profession is even older than the world's oldest profession. He's been loathed and reviled by politicians, bureaucrats and hot dog vendors. How to Make $100,000 Dollars as a Personal Trainer Part C for Client! My name is Greg Ryan. For the last twenty years I have counseled thousands of personal trainers, fitness directors and gym owners on how be successful in the health and fitness industry. No matter where I go in the world, no matter the size of the gym the biggest reason for their lack of success is all the same. My question is, "Do you want to be a mediocre Personal Trainer or do you want to be a GREAT one? Worth Waiting For Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 22, 2002 Can Versus Cant It is my personal opinion that there are two words that are the driving force behind your personally achieving your ultimate outcome and your WHY in Life. These two words are the most powerful words that you can and will ever speak to yourself about any situation - "CAN" and "CAN'T" As I've said many times, "CAN" is a word of power; whereas, "CAN'T" is a word of retreat. Belief Management - The Missing Ingredient? "Joan, I'm working so hard and I'm not getting anything done!" I have heard some version of this cry of frustration by many an entrepreneur. It's a common complaint voiced by those of use who sought the freedom to have complete authority over our schedules, only to find ourselves unwittingly shackled by old ways of operating. Forget Resolutions - Craft A Life Theme That Works How many people do you know who, in January, enthusiastically name their resolution for the year yet somehow neglect to follow through with it a few weeks or months later? Forget making New Year's resolutions. They rarely work because they are often based on "shoulds" versus the bigger picture of your life. What I've found does work is creating a life theme for the year ahead. Your life theme will be your overriding intention or "big picture" focus for the upcoming months. It has an expiration date of December 31, when you'll get a chance to re-evaluate your direction. Having a life theme is like having a personal mission statement for your whole life, personal and professional, updated annually. A life theme works because it takes into consideration and connects all your intentions for the year in a succinct and powerful phrase. This collection of one to five words describes what you want to accomplish in all areas of your life and cements your main priorities with intended action. Discover Your Intentions Perhaps as you've explored who you are and what you want to create for your life, you've noticed that "Wellbeing" or "Wellness" has come up for you over and over. Or perhaps you've noticed more of a "Relationship" theme. Or maybe the word "Passion" has tugged at your heart repeatedly, or you've focused on "Patience." These are all great themes for the upcoming year. Through your own personal discovery, you may recognize that you haven't made time in your life for many friends, that your networks are weak and that you would like to have a social circle beyond your immediate family. Your life theme in this case could be "Connection." It may be you've realized that your life is far more filled with work and errands than with fun and play, and you want to fix that imbalance. Your life theme then could be "Energize." Feel the Magic Base your theme on what you find joyful and what you want to accomplish both personally and professionally. Your theme needs to strike an emotional chord with you and bring a smile to your face when your say it. You must own it. You must feel your theme's magic. It must propel you forward. Now take a few moments to reflect on the bigger picture vision you have for your life. What would you like to accomplish first? What will bring you joy and fulfillment with your work, your family, and your personal time? What is the essence of what you wish to experience in this upcoming year? When you have an idea of what it is you wish to create and who you want to "be," take some time to meditate or concentrate on developing your life theme. The right phrase for you may come to you immediately, or it may take some time to evolve. Brief is Best When the phrase does reveal itself to you, try to keep it to a maximum of five words. Brief is better. Feel the power of these concise life themes: "Let go. Rebuild. Move Forward. Growth and Independence. Balance and Follow-through. Connection. Stretch. Calm and Quiet." You might have to live with your life theme for a week before you know that it's the one that will speak to you for the next year. You will know when you've got it. Get Started Once your life theme is clear, write it down. Put it where you will see it every day as a reminder of where you are heading in 2005. Tell loved ones, friends and colleagues what your life theme is. The more often you say it and share the more real it will become. Every time you make a decision large and small put it through your life theme filter. If your theme is "connection" say yes to building friendships, social invitations and neighborhood parties. If your theme is "adventure and fun" perhaps you say no that new pair of shoes and yes to signing up for a rock climbing course. The most surefire method to ensuring you live your life theme is to ask yourself every morning when you wake "what can I do today to experience my life theme." The key to success is to be intentional with your thoughts and actions on a daily basis. By living intentionally and with purpose you'll never feel the need to make another New Year's resolution again. Executive Coaching -The Business Benefits Executive coaching is an investment for you and your business and you need to understand what returns you will get. How exactly will you benefit from it? Do You Trust Your Mentor(s)? It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust." - Samuel Johnson Mid Life Crisis and the Great American Dream One of the mainstays of American culture is the "Great American Dream". Immigrants would uproot their families and leave their homeland in the hopes of experiencing the freedom and opportunity that awaits them in America. While it is true that our Declaration of Independence states, "we are endowed by our creator with certain alienable rights and among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness", it was probably Horatio Alger who did more to popularize the "American Dream". He wrote more than 134 successful short novels targeting the rags to riches theme. His theme was that if you were honest, worked hard, had a strong determination, did your best and always tried to do the right thing, you would succeed. Alger captured the essence, emotion, soul and especially the spirit of an emerging America. The association between happiness and success was taking root in American culture. Saying NO to Good Opportunities! Tracey started her video production company 2 ½ years ago, and after struggling through the start-up phase, she was finally reaping the fruits of her labor. When we talked, it was clear that she was ready to move onward and upward but did not know how to go about doing it. Tips For Singles On Celebrating The New Year It's four weeks away and you don't have any plans. Many of your friends will be away or out with their significant others. You can't believe it's been a whole year and you are facing another dateless New Years Eve. What can you do? How to Save Yourself from Negative Influences Watching the news can be hazardous to your health. How to Give Yourself a Check Up From the Neck Up When was the last time you did some dedicated physical exercise? What Does It Take To Have It All In Life? Many people have asked me why I wrote my book, 'The Street Kid's Guide to Having it All', and I realized that some people simply do not believe that it is possible to 'have it all'. Well, I am here as an ambassador to dispel that rumor once and for all. Budda In Your Back Pocket The other day I was late for something. Not very late. In fact, I was actually on time but an angry voice berated me anyway, saying, "You are late! There will be no seats left. You wouldn't run late if you were more organized!" It was a terrible feeling, especially because the voice was partially right. Be Better at Business And Lose Weight, Too! In business, individuals often secure the services of a success coach like myself to "fix" certain areas of their professional life. The desired fixes typically range from a desire for a promotion and/or a salary increase, to on-the-job performance enhancements, to improving one's personal productivity, to boosting one's level of enthusiasm about their job. Coaching - An Adapting Tool For Attaining Fulfillment In The Global Economy At a time when the global economy is bringing innovation, new ideas and new opportunities into the marketplace, outsourcing and the elimination of white-collar jobs has left many of us feeling anxious and insecure about the future. It is increasingly apparent that the American Worker can no longer look to the corporation for a sense of security, place, benefits or loyalty. As reliance on old structures is diminishing, the following ways of looking at work are emerging: Permission To Have FUN ? Have you been working long hours? ? Have you been managing 10 (or more) tasks at once? ? Are you combining several different personal and professional roles?
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