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If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change Your Approach
And ironically the more we worry about it, the more tense we get and the more likely we are to say something stupid. Let us a take a look at some remedies: 1 Learn to relax when you feel under pressure. I often talk about the importance of managing your emotions This is an essential skill. There are a wide range of courses and books that you can refer to if you want to learn more about relaxation. When you feel relaxed it is easier to think on your feet and to be flexible when you need to be. 2 Prepare Yourself Before a social gathering get ready to have something to talk about. With the internet on your PC there is no excuse for not becoming well informed about the world. The more knowledge you have the more conversations you can contribute to. Make a point though of reading up on a variety of subjects otherwise your conversation topics will be limited to what interests you the most. And those topics may not interest your friends as much. 3 Become genuinely interested in other people One of the big secrets to conversation power is to shut up! We are all a lot more interested in ourselves than in anyone else. When there is a long silence encourage the other person to talk by asking questions and taking an active interest in the answers. Take charge of the situation if you want the conversation to continue. 4 Stupid Statements Are Allowed! If you say something stupid it is not the end of the world. If you try to hide your error then the situation can become chaotic very quickly. It is far better to just admit that you made a mistake. Also, accept that even smart people say stupid things some times. As long as you accept that you will make mistakes you have nothing to worry about. Expecting yourself to be perfect is unfair and just sets you up for failure. All you need to do now is to decide how you will deal with these mistakes when they do happen. 5 Enjoy The Silence! When there is a long silence in a conversation what normally passes through your mind? Do you judge it as bad? Do you feel under pressure to speak? The other person has created the silence with you. Why not wait for him to speak first? Take the responsibility off your shoulders. It takes at least two people to have a conversation. Finally, the reason silence can be uncomfortable is because you become self conscious. You become very aware of your own thoughts and feelings There is one great way to deal with this. Put your attention on something outside of yourself by paying great attention to the other person and whatever is going on around you in the room. Become fascinated by what you see and hear and you will forget about your own concerns. Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
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Business Management The Right Time and Place (Channelled) 7 Steps to Take Control of Your Life Taking control of your life is getting in touch with your values, setting meaningful goals and identifying your vision. To be in control of where life is taking you means being more productive, dealing more effectively with stress, having the ability to solve problems, handing change and developing healthy optimism. Start with these 7 steps and you are on your way. How to Optimize the Awesome Power of Thoughts and Imagination Have you encountered a time when you were in a traffic jam and was running late for an important meeting? Did you stay calm and focused? Or did your mind wander into the dark side of the impending consequences that may occur? Is Time Really Easier to Sell than Products? Generate Extra Revenue by Packaging Up What You Know Over the years I've worked with very many coaches and consultants who make their money by selling blocks of time. Unhook From The Perpetual Progress Grid I have been a member of a group called the Women in Business Connection (WIBC for short) in Cambridge, MA for about four years. We get together for lunch meetings once a month. Last week at our December event several of the women commented to me how much they liked my newsletter. It is always nice to hear complimentary feedback but one woman went even farther - she said it was like getting a "Zen moment" in her email. (Thanks Cibeline!) Kabbalah Coach: Love the One Youre With Introduction The Tolerance Effect While working with a client several months ago, we went through a process of identifying areas of personal strengths and weaknesses. Through this exercise, we discussed various characteristics and ended up deciding that there was opportunity for improvement in her level of "tolerance". A funny thing happened after that. When she found herself in a situation that had previously triggered a negative reaction be it disappointment, irritation, frustration, anger or even animosity (usually focused on the person in the car ahead of her who did not use their turn signal), the word "tolerance" would flash in her head and she could immediately change the way she reacted to the situation. Do You Want to Impress Others? Then Don't Talk ?Listen Recently my friend Michelle was concerned about a professional conference she was planning to attend with her husband, a veterinarian. She has no background in veterinary science, so she did not think she would be able to effectively communicate with the people at the conference. I asked her why she thought she had to use technical jargon when she spoke to the other conference attendees. She responded that she wanted them to think well of her. Michelle is a warm, caring individual who is genuinely interested in others. I assured her that she could effectively relate to the people she met by asking them questions about themselves and their businesses instead of trying to impress them with her knowledge of veterinary science. Why Bosses Dont Get All the News Not long ago, a friend who works in television complained that the industry has no interest in real business stories. And, I had to agree with him, since we don't see much coverage that doesn't involve stock prices or some sort of scandal. Do You Dither in Your Job Search? I looked up the definition of "to dither" before writing this article. It is to be agitated and in a nervous state. Can I Be My Own ADD Coach? Quite often I am in contact with people who discuss acting as an ADD Coach for their child or spouse. While supporting and helping loved ones with ADD is a great idea, acting as an ADD Coach really isn't a great idea. There is just way too much emotion involved and an ADD Coach needs to be far enough removed from the situation to be an effective ADD Coach. Coaches, Do You Make These 7 Deadly Cash Flow Mistakes in Your Practice? Managing cash flow is every small business owner's most important function. Avoid these seven deadly mistakes to make sure you aren't creating cash flow problems in your coaching practice. Your Past and Present Hold Key to Your Future Knowing more about who you are will give you the insight for your future goals. Smelling the Roses: Better Living Through Savoring "Stop and smell the roses," people often say. Then they smile ruefully, because everybody knows there isn't enough TIME to stop or, as my daughter says, to "chill." Home For The Holidays In my husband's family, family members send Christmas cards to other family members (parents to children, brothers and sisters to one another, etc.) even though the family always spends time together at Christmas for a meal and gift exchange. HR Professional in New Avtaar: HR as a Coach and Mentor Introduction We Are Exactly Where We Choose to Be The idea for this month's newsletter came from an unlikely encounter: I recently had lunch with a new friend named Rick Rockwell. You may remember him as the bachelor from the first-ever reality TV show, "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire?" Are You Invisible? Ellen was brought up to be invisible. She was taught to be very tuned into others' feelings and needs, but to never have any of her own. Her family made it clear to her that her job was to give to them but to never expect anything in return. As a result, Ellen learned to be totally tuned out to her own feelings and needs. It was as if she, as a person, did not really exist, other than to be there for others. The Value of Coaching to Support Your Business and Your Life In our daily lives as well as in our businesses, we typically operate from the perspective of doing the best we know how to do in dealing with life's challenges and opportunities. If we knew what it would take to be more effective in our relationships, more productive in our activities or more successful in reaching our goals, we would surely alter our behavior to correspond with these insights. The only access we ordinarily have to impact our lives comes from the areas of "what we know" and "what we don't know." In our efforts to achieve more, we usually resort to increasing what we do know by learning to do things a little better, a little different or we simply do more of a behavior that produced a certain result for us in the past. This behavior can predictably result in small, incremental increases in our ability to impact our business and our world. Likewise, by educating ourselves in the arena of "what we don't know," this knowledge then becomes part of what we now do know. As an example, if you are computer illiterate and you apply yourself to learn how to adeptly operate a computer, you will have successfully taken something that you do not know and converted it into what you now know. More than 95% of our efforts are spent in these two arenas what we know and what we don't know. How to Kill Fear When Dealing with Aggressive People The book Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers is regarded as a self help classic. Have you read it?
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