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A Visualization Exercise on Managing Expectations for Adults with ADD
As adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), we often find ourselves excited by new ideas and plans, but overwhelmed by what it will take to reach the goals. Many of my coaching clients find themselves in this situation. They make a decision to make a change - a big change. Sometimes it's about moving up in the world, like finding a new and better home. Sometimes the change is about pursing a dream, like taking a passion for art and turning it into a career. And sometimes the change involves a mental shift to become a better person, like learning to overcome anger. No matter what big and exciting change is on the horizon, we can sometimes find that our impulsivity has us not only wanting - but expecting - the change to happen much quicker than is actually possibly. We have unrealistic expectations of what we are able to accomplish when. When this happens, disappointment, lack of motivation, and even feelings of failure, are quite common. When one of my clients finds them self in a situation like this, I take them through a visualization exercise that I call "The Temple." The following directions will allow you to use this exercise in your own life. The Temple: A Visualization Exercise Step 1: Pick the Goal Pick a goal that you are excited about - a change you really want to make. Step 2: Relax Sit back, relax, and close your eyes. Focus on your breath going in and out, and allow worries and concerns to be breathed away...just for a little bit. Step 3: Visualize a Temple Create - in your mind - the vision of a beautiful, peaceful temple. It is your temple, and it can be anywhere. It can look any way you like. Get a very vivid image of this temple in your mind. The temple is your goal. When you reach your goal, you will reach your temple. Connect with your goal. What will it feel like when you reach that goal? Think of the emotions you will experience. Think about what it will feel like to be in that temple. Step 4: Visualize Your Steps Now imagine that your temple is being raised into the sky. As your temple rises, stairs appear. The stairs to your temple are steps to your goal. Ask yourself, what are the steps that I need to climb in order to reach my goal? What has to happen in order for me to reach that goal? Are there any steps on the way to your goal that you have already achieved? If so, visualize yourself climbing the stairs to your temple. Step 5: Check-in With Yourself Do this exercise on a regular basis. Each time you take a step towards your goal, visualize yourself climbing a stair to your temple. Understand that some steps will be easy to climb, and some will be a little harder and will take more time. Even though it may seem like you've been working a long time and not getting anywhere on your goal, don't lose sight of the fact that if you are climbing the stairs, then you are making progress. When you get impatient and frustrated about your progress, remember that life in itself is a journey. Growth and personal progress don't happen in the temple, they happen on the way to the temple. Jennifer Koretsky is a Professional ADD Management Coach who helps adults manage their ADD and move forward in life. She encourages clients to increase self-awareness, focus on strengths and talents, and create realistic action plans. She offers a 90-day intensive skill-building program, workshops, and private coaching. Her work has been featured in numerous media, including The New York Times Magazine and The Times (UK). To subscribe to Jennifer's free email newsletter, The ADD Management Guide, please visit http://www.addmanagement.com/e-newsletter.htm
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Business Management Are YOU a Dreamer? This morning I watched a news article about a young woman who had just set a world record for sailing across the English Channel. What was special about this Channel crossing? The sailor, Hilary Lister, is a quadriplegic who steered the boat by blowing through two straws. She completed her crossing in 6 hours. How to Hire a Coach Improve Your Life! How to Hire A Coach. Good Communication is Easy - Isn't It? My name is Steve Brummet and my business is to speak to businesses, teams, schools, churches, non profit organizations and just people about improving their communication skills. Most communication experts agree that good communication starts with understanding. Three Great Ways to Deal with Negative People 1. Do not believe everything you hear! Different New-Years Resolution - Pass-It-Forward Every 12 months, as the New-Year rolls around, we all brag about our New-Year's Resolutions. With inflated chests and with all the authority we can muster, we announce to any and every available ear, that we're going to lose weight, stop drinking and smoking so much, as well as spend more time with our family, in addition to investing more time down at the gym. Overcoming Work Addiction Why are you so busy? Do you really have too much work? Is work so important to you that you'll sacrifice just about anything in your life to get the job done? Even if it's at the expense of your health and your relationships? How to Coach Yourself! Some people are not in a position to work with a coach right now. Some are stretched financially, while some are still using the "lone ranger" method. Other people might be uncertain about trying something new. Its Game Time! Four Powerful Lessons in the Game of Life I turned 29 last week, and if statistics are right and I die on or around my 78th birthday, I am almost 40% done. In a numbers game, that is pretty close to half way. This had me thinking about when I played basketball in high school and college. I thought most about the half time events in the locker room. The Student Who Knew Too Much This article is for those of you who coach or mentor. Does this sound familiar? Do You Need a Performance Coach? In today's fast paced world, we are often confronted with the issue, "I want to get in shape, but I just don't have the time!" We all have faced it at one time or another. So, when we finally decide to get in shape we go to the gym, and then another decision hits us. Should you get a personal trainer? That would speed up the process, I mean, they have taken massive amounts of time to study the body, and know how best to work out without hurting yourself. They can help you with a proper diet, implementing exercise into your lifestyle, etc. Also, I do not know of a single professional athlete who does not have a coach or mentor?get the hint? If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change Your Approach And ironically the more we worry about it, the more tense we get and the more likely we are to say something stupid. Context is King! If you've been around the Internet for more than two hours, you've probably heard someone say it or write it. If you haven't, you will. Attitude What makes attitude so important? Why not just learn some "seduction techniques" to get the girl? The answer is simple: learning techniques (or having expensive clothing and cars) without improving your attitude is like wrapping a cheap gift in expensive wrapping paper. It still looks expensive on the outside, but when the girl "unwraps" you, she'll find out that you were faking it all along. This might work for a one-night stand, but if you want anything more, you'll need to change both on the "inside" and "outside". Email Etiquette 1 I thought it might be worth visiting some email etiquette for all as the majority of the readers of this newsletter are now on email. Successful Implementation of Company Wide Coaching Programmes Ten years ago I was fortunate enough to be heavily involved in the implementation of a company wide coaching programme, both as an employee who was to receive coaching but also as a manager and coach who was expected to regular coach my reports and my peers to enable them to achieve their objectives. I say, fortunate enough, because I found that when I was coached effectively I became really motivated and focused, and when I finally became a proficient coach, I again found it motivational in that I was able to support and enable my direct reports to achieve more. Embracing Excellence Joey rises before dawn to pack his lunch, eager for morning to arrive so he can board the city bus that transports him to his job at a souvenir production facility. From 8:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m., Joey applies decals to souvenir collector spoons. Much like an artist applying brush to canvas, Joey peels a self-sticking decal from its wrapper, painstakingly centers it over the base of the spoon and slowly presses it on the metal. If the decal is not perfectly centered, he peels it off and starts over. Joey glows with pride over the racks of completed spoons, ready to be packaged for shipping to retail stores. Self-Defense Within Martial Arts Training Demands a Real-World Perspective This story is being offered in response to a request made by my teacher, Soke (Grand Master) Masaaki Hatsumi, during a recent training visit to Japan. During one of the training sessions, Soke was suggesting that everyone, regardless of rank, should make it a point to talk to those with actual combat experience and to learn from these people. The point was, if you do not know what a real fight is like, you will not be able to train properly for an authentic situation. Choosing The Right Coach Coaching has become a very popular way for people to get the ongoing support they need to accomplish their goals. However, choosing a coach can be tricky. There are so many METHODS, models, and approaches. Coaches come from every background possible -- from counseling to consulting to corporate America. And each individual has a PERSONALITY, communication style, and temperament that is going to match well with some people and clash with others. So how do you choose someone who is right for you? Keeping Your Anger Under Control In my work with individuals and couples, I see many people who have a difficult time expressing and managing angry feelings. Let's take a look at what causes people to become angry and how they can respond to stressful situations more productively. Priorities: Are You Living Yours? In the Charles Dickens classic, "The Christmas Story", Scrooge is given the opportunity to examine his life and his priorities before it is too late. Upon being shown his grave by the ghost of Christmas Future, he asks "Spirit, are these instances of things that will be or are they of things that might be? Is it too late for me?" How long has it been since you have examined your life and its direction? When the day comes that you leave this earth, how will you be remembered?
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