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Can Versus Cant
It is my personal opinion that there are two words that are the driving force behind your personally achieving your ultimate outcome and your WHY in Life. These two words are the most powerful words that you can and will ever speak to yourself about any situation - "CAN" and "CAN'T" As I've said many times, "CAN" is a word of power; whereas, "CAN'T" is a word of retreat. You have the power to decide if you wish to ACHIEVE or RETREAT, because when you speak victory words such as "I CAN", you will attain whatever you set out to do regardless of what others are saying to you. There are many famous entrepreneurs in the world such as Ray Kroc, Fred Astaire, Walt Disney and Dick Clark. I can attest to the fact that if you spoke with each of them individually, they would tell you that in the beginning of their journey the majority of people told them ----you CAN'T do that! Fortunately, they disregarded these statements and listened to their inner voice, who said, "Oh yes I CAN!" The key in life is to realize the most important person who speaks to you every day is you on the inside! You need to review your WHY in Life and see if your are on track toward achieving your WHY, or are you on a detour because someone told you, "You CAN'T do that so stop dreaming and just forget about it!" As a personal mindset builder, you need to speak to your inner person and say to yourself, "Today I will take another productive stride!" Each morning, I visualize myself winning. My personal outcome for each day is to build a community of people who we can inspire and motivate all of us to make the world a better place in which to live. I have to admit if it was not for my inner person saying, "John you CAN do it! YOU CAN do it!" I may not be in the position of success that I am today. Some days it is still difficult, but guess what -- we ARE doing it! I am personally very proud and appreciative of the people who have stepped up to the plate and made individual contributions of talent and time and when combined have made an empowered team at the Di Lemme Development Group - a team that keeps on building each day! In summary, you need to ask yourself a very honest question, "Am I listening to my victory words from the inside or am letting the outer defeat (loser) words control my outcome in life?" . Find Your WHY and FLY! As a young child, John Di Lemme was clinically diagnosed as a stutterer and told that he would never speak fluently. Today, John has achieved great success as an international motivational speaker, accomplished author and multi-million dollar entrepreneur. John shocks millions globally by exposing the truth about how to achieve monumental life success despite the labels that society has placed on you. Through his award winning live seminars, power-packed training programs, live tele-classes, and weekly ezine, John Di Lemme has made success a reality for thousands worldwide. Visit http://www.FindYourWhy.com and discover how you can finally create monumental success in your life today and achieve all your goals, dreams and desires.
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Business Management Pecked to Death By Ducks Ever been in a situation where it seems like minor criticisms are all you hear? Sure, there are things you could improve, you know that . . . but a constant peck, peck, peck of negative feedback sure doesn't motivate you to change! One of my mentors called this gradual chipping away at one's self esteem, "being pecked to death by ducks." How to deal with it? There are ducks outside my window as I write . . . and I know that one sure way to make them go away, is to stop feeding them. Ducks need to eat a lot, and eat often, to keep going. If they can't get food from you, they'll try someplace else. So . . . how can you make this work for your brand of "ducks"? What about figuring out what there is about you that's FEEDING them? For example, are you reacting to their pecks? (Psychologists tell us that some people use a negative approach to get the attention they crave.) Are you working harder in response to their criticism? (When you do this, you are exhausting yourself and adding chocolate sauce to their dessert! The pecking won't end, I guarantee it.) I believe we feed our ducks when we take words of criticism home and brood. Most of us are programmed to take criticism much more seriously than we do praise, and many of us make almost a career out of taking criticism home to chew over . . . and over . . . and again. When Duck A criticizes me for DOING x, I have a choice. Take it home and make it last . . . or look the criticism in the face. If it's fair and valid, I may decide to stop x-ing (it's my choice). In fact, Duck A may have done me a good turn -- and one way to keep this in mind is to say (over and over if necessary), "It's about what I DO, it's not who I BE." A WORD ABOUT SYSTEMIC DUCK FEEDERS: Some organizations and groups encourage anonymous feedback, in the mistaken belief that this provides a safe environment for honest communication. WRONG! Anonymous feedback promotes dysfunctional systems . . . and dysfunctional systems are essentially "duck food silos." (I put a spin on an old mantra, "If you can't say it to his/her face, don't say it at all." Of course, sometimes we need help -- a mentor, an advocate, a companion, a safe structure. But whatever it takes, in healthy systems, constructive, behavior-focused criticism comes with a name attached, and if at all possible, is given face-to- face.) Finally: HOW NOT TO BE A DUCK: Before YOU criticize, think clearly. Figure out what is really bugging you. And then speak directly to the person with whom you have a problem. Use 'I' statements (a skill unknown to ducks, as far as I know). Rehearse ahead of time to be sure you are focused on behavior (Do-ing), not Be-ing. A good rule is to ask yourself, "How would this sound if she (or he) were talking to ME?" © Maureen Killoran, 2005 Addiction to Worry Carole started counseling with me because she was depressed. She had been ill with chronic fatigue syndrome for a long time and believed her depression was due to this. In the course of our work together, she became aware that her depression was actually coming from her negative thinking - Carole was a constant worrier. Many words out of her mouth centered around her concerns that something bad might happen. "What if I never get well?" "What if my husband gets sick?" "What if I run out of money?" (Carole and her husband ran a very successful business and there was no indication that it would not go on being successful). "What if my son gets into drugs?" "What if my kids don't get into good colleges?" "What if someone breaks into the house?" Transform Your Office Into A Powerhouse Of Success Did you know that the area that you call your 'office' is a direct reflection of you? If your environment is clean and uncluttered it projects that the person who works there is calm and has everything under control. Consequently if it looks like the local rubbish tip then the impression others get is that this person is disorganised, and a complete mess. Sorry Dr Maslow, I Think You Got It Wrong In the 1950s Abraham Maslow published a book entitled " Motivation and Personality" in which he outlided his now famous Hierarchy of Needs. Over the years since its publication Maslow's work has gained wide acceptance as a tool in understanding human motivation. It has been used in areas as diverse as Consumer Marketing and Christian Evangelism,as well, of course, psychology. Maslow rightly holds a place of high regard in many circles. Anger: To Control or To Learn Many of us will do anything to avoid another's anger, yet may be quick to anger ourselves. Many of us dread another's anger yet continue to use our own anger as a way to control others. 3 Keys to Making Small Talk Easy to Do Small talk used to be really hard work for me. I never knew what to say and I always worried about saying the wrong thing. Theres Always Enough Time! I thought I'd begin this article by stimulating your mind with a little time trivia contest! Are you ready? Alright then, here goes.. You Can Get There From Here But first you've got to raise your standards. Trump University - Why Success Education Is Important Trump University recently unveiled offers a bonanza of success secrets, success tips and success insights. Choosing The Perfect Coach So, you are ready to start coaching. You either have some issues that you think a coach can help you overcome, or you just think it's time for a quality of life tune-up. You've reviewed your budget and set aside some money to cover the fees and you've ascertained that you are reasonably free of any serious mental or emotional issues that might interfere with the process. But now comes the big question: "How can I find a coach that's right for me?" Growing On G.R.O.W A More Specific Coaching Model For Busy Managers The effective coaching of employees by their line managers is fast becoming an expectation from both senior management and from the employees themselves. Many managers are now being taught how best to coach their employees by employing the standard coaching model called G.R.O.W, where G equates to the Goal to be achieved, R to the Reality of the present situation, O for Options available and W for the Way Forward and Will. How Stella (Laurie) Got Her Groove Back! Being a Life Strategy Coach doesn't mean I'm always on top of my game, completely balanced and without my own challenges. Building a website, writing an e-book, getting a newsletter off the ground and securing clients required a great deal of work and commitment. Increase Your Intelligence With Music You Are What You Listen To Personal Strategic Planning I have a few questions for you ---What if we as individuals adapted and utilized some of the same tried and true processes and methods that have given businesses the edge they need to succeed over their competition? My sense is that understood and implemented correctly professionals would be able to gain the same competitive advantage. Remarkably, this is not anything overly complicated or new and I can't take credit for developing it. But I can (and will) take credit for suggesting we take it out of the boardroom and adapt it for personal use to achieve greater personal and professional success. This classic business tool is the process of Strategic Planning. Negotiating Difficult Life Transitions Life is a process of beginnings and endings. In both life and nature, there are times when things move slowly and don't seem to change very much. Then, suddenly, things change quickly. Moving from August to September, the weather changes gradually at first, and then it seems that suddenly summer is over. It is the same in our lives; transitions are as natural as the changing seasons. Things Are Good Because I Say They Are The subject of positive self talk regarding our goals and dreams reminds me of the childhood story, The Velveteen Rabbit. The boy loves the toy so much that a magic fairy comes and turns the toy bunny into a real rabbit. She tells the bunny it has been loved so much that it has earned the right to be real. Do You Trust Your Mentor(s)? It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust." - Samuel Johnson Is Coaching For You? More and more people have less and less time, but have greater demands both personally and professionally. This situation has resulted in the emergence of personal coaching within four basic areas: Financial, Physical or Fitness, Life or Career and Executive Performance. Mindfulness and Multiple Intelligences: 8 Ways to Pay Attention How are you smart? Viewpoints - Communication Destruction Or.... Viewpoints! Everyone has them and they are personal. However, when you believe that only your view is correct, you shut out other people and do not listen to the facts they are giving.
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