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Transitions: Moving Through Change With Grace
MOVING THROUGH CHANGE Creating any major change in our lives can also create feelings of discomfort. Tiredness, confusion, and uncertainty are among the many emotions that can be experienced. Moving from one way of doing things to another requires a transitional period. The transition is the middle ground that is required for evolution to occur. It's the place between where you were and where you are going. Usually this middle ground feels unpaved, unstable, lopsided, jagged, and stony. We stumble along with unsure footing wondering if we will ever feel confident again. Our transformation depends on trusting the road will eventually smooth out. Trusting that we are safe even in the midst of change, in the darkness of uncertainty. I certainly don't have all the answers for how to proceed through change. But my life experiences continue to teach me that change is growth, change is empowerment, and change is life itself. I continue to realize how to embody the process of change with joy even as fear and confusion are present. The strategies below are steps I take to help ground me when I'm scared during a period of transition. Maybe these strategies can also give you a few ideas that can provide firmer footing to navigate a solid path towards your future possibilities. ACCEPTANCE Take a moment breathe deeply. Realize you accepted this transition. No one forced you to change or can force you to complete the change. Although it may not be an easy journey, trust that you will be much better off on the other side. Verbally acknowledge and accept the journey that you determined for yourself. You could say something like, "Universe, I am now ready to accept this journey." Doing this invokes your personal power to successfully achieve your outcome. Now is the time to open your heart energy and ask, "Universe, how are you going to support me in this?" GRACE You may feel uncertain while in transition. Here is a question for you - Are you going to curl up, continue to pretend you are powerless (can't have what you want), and desperately seek someone to rescue you from the middle of the road? Or are you going to gather up all your courage and gracefully walk on your own two feet? Two very different ways to experience the moment. It's okay to stumble and fall, we all do it. It's even okay to lie there in the dirt for awhile. We all run our own stories and everyone has had the experience of a temporary pity party. Or as my friend called it the other day - I was on my 'weepy wagon'. She said it was okay. However, she wasn't going to get in and join me in my weepy wagon of self pity. Instead, she would stay with me and pull the handle until I was ready to get out. It was a weepy wagon of old lies and untruths. I'm walking again - much stronger for having fallen. CHOOSE FAITH "Feed your faith, not your fears." Everyday I look at this quote taped to my computer screen. There are only two choices. The greater our fear, the tighter our grip. Do a reality check. Is it time to let go and move into the experience? You will most likely have to move forward while still feeling fear rather than waiting for the fear to pass. Eleanor Roosevelt eloquently stated, "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I've lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." You must do the thing you think you cannot do." GET SUPPORT For each of us, we must walk our own path. No one can save us from this journey. No one can pick us up and drop us off on the other side. The journey itself is what offers strength, insight, and wisdom. So we must walk our own road - but that doesn't mean we can't bring some friends along to walk with us for awhile. Meet with a nutrition therapist, coach, friend, or advisor on a regular basis to keep you grounded. These people can help you though the periods of self-doubt and instability. We all need someone to lean on and support us through the bumpy parts. WORDS ARE POWER Be acutely aware of the words you use. Do they empower you or leave you feeling powerless? Observe your spoken language and the self talk in your head. Is it positive or negative? Is it detrimental or helpful? Is it rooted in fear or love? Does it stay centered in the present moment? Positive, self-affirming, resourceful, and loving language - spoken or thought - is what allows us to make the journey. Look into your own eyes in the mirror and support your journey. TAKE A RISK Change requires us to move from our smaller, confined circle of comfort to one that is larger and more expansive. The edges of the smaller comfort zone need to be faced. Like Columbus sailing off to explore the edge of the ocean, you too are exploring unknown (and feared unsafe) new territory. Choose what feels right for you to safely feel the stretch of growth. Ask yourself each week, "What risk have I taken?" "What success have I experienced?" Make it okay to be a beginner again. It's how we grow and transform. You will inspire others and find strengths you never knew you had. CREATE A RITUAL TO HONOR THE CHANGE Take the time to symbolically acknowledge the journey you are on. It is a stage of growth, new learning's, and a new attitude. A ritual can be anything metaphorical that has meaning to you. Perhaps it might be setting something free, cleaning your closet, throwing out your diet books, a celebration of the journey with friends, or even listing all the things that have been holding you back upon little strips of paper and burning them. Take physical action in your life to acknowledge the path you are moving along and to open up to new possibilities that await you just around the corner. Simple daily rituals that nurture your soul will respect the transition that you are in. A ritual may help you close a door that needs to be closed. Honor what has come before, learn from it, and let it go. Acknowledge the present, and give thanks for your future. Receive support from your higher self. EXERCISE TRANSITIONAL OBJECT It might help to carry with you a transitional object that reminds you of your success so far, and helps keeps your vision on your overall goal. The object could be something you touch that reminds you of your journey. Or it could be an item that provides comfort. Think of a baby holding onto a teddy bear or a favorite blanket. Or the function of rosary beads. Link your sense of touch to the feeling of success. Touch, stroke, or handle your item with each small (or large) sense of achievement. Then when you gain strength to go on, touching your object again will remind you of your goal. Here's a list of potential transitional objects you could easily carry in your pocket or on your body: Small smooth stone Crystal Special necklace Ring for your finger Sea shell Symbolic lapel pin Copyright 2005, Dr. Annette Colby, all rights reserved. Dr. Annette Colby, RD "Opening Creative Portals to Success" For free inspirational newsletter, articles & info visit: http://www.LovingMiracles.com
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Business Management Time Travel Let me quote something you wrote. "When you reach the boundary between like and love, you know you are entering a different country. You are beyond newness and infatuation. You know what Shakespeare meant when he called love 'an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken.'" The Best Things in Life Are Rarely Things Have you ever noticed this to be true? Should I Get A Coach? Why should or would someone hire a life coach? Well, why would anyone purchase the services of a personal trainer, and interior designer or a sports coach - any professional "assistant" for that matter? After all, we all know how to exercise, how to hang a curtain and how to play our own game. But we hire a professional because we know that they will hold us accountable on our goals and objectives - and since we're paying good money for them to be there, often whether we show up or not, we have an added incentive to do so ourselves. We also understand that even though our knowledge of what we're doing may be strong, a professional always has tips, tools and tricks at their disposal which can save us time, aggravation and money. And we get that even the best of best can't "see themselves" from the outside and don't have the objective standpoint about their skills and abilities that a trained and experienced professional can bring to bear on any given situation. What is Coaching? Recently, I have received several emails asking me about coaching and what it is exactly. So, I decided to answer some of those questions in this article. Do You Trust Your Mentor(s)? It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust." - Samuel Johnson Identify Your Two Rich Horses The naked truth of person is that we are still slaves to our mind; means we are still a "bounded slaves" to our mind. The use of mind in constructive way or in some stepping-stone turning way is still not being revealed by human being. This is the only catalyst which leads to become the " the so called body and the body holder" famous and illustrious and it is the same catalyst which can lead to other floating vices right across us. The Fastest Way to Ruin Yourself I don't know many people who would admit to wanting to ruin themselves, but there are a lot of people who are doing everything they can to accomplish that very goal. They certainly don't see it that way, but if you look at the way they live, you can see it happening. Theres Gold in that Silence Can you recall a time where you utilized silence to make a point? If you can consciously recall, you probably know your silence made more than just a point; it made an exclamation point ... and without a single word preceding it. Now that's powerful. Coaching: YOU Can Improve Your Organizations Performance GOOD BUSINESS COACHING: Clearly, the right kind of coaching can alter a team's or an organization's performance. The implication for business is that if you create a climate of coaching in any organization, you can produce performance that exceeds your expectations - and you won't have to change the people to do so. Coaching can produce star performers in organizations, even when the players are people of ordinary talent and ability. A Sure-Fire, 10-Step Formula To Get Started As A Coach Or Consultant "My guess is first I'll need some zippy flyers and a tri-fold brochure" said an email from Matt last week. Sadly, he is not the only one thinking that the first step to building a professional business is printing fliers and brochures. After all, that's what everyone does, right? And it seems like a logical place to start, doesn't it? Loving Every Phenomenal Part of You Have you ever wished yourself away? I am not referring to leaving your precious life on this Earth; but rather, just wished you weren't a certain way or did not have some particular qualities and mannerisms that were so apparent to you. I know I have. Keeping Your Anger Under Control In my work with individuals and couples, I see many people who have a difficult time expressing and managing angry feelings. Let's take a look at what causes people to become angry and how they can respond to stressful situations more productively. 6 Practices for Achieving Excellent Self-Care Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) often feel like they are running behind schedule, and just don't have the time get everything done. As a result, many ADDers end up sacrificing their own self-care in order to scratch off items on their to-do lists. Those who skimp on self-care, however, will find themselves slowed down in the end. It's nearly impossible to be an effective parent, spouse, friend, or worker when you are not operating at your best. And you can't be at your best when you are not taking care of yourself! Do You Mind If Someone Screams At You? A headhunter was on the other end of the phone. He was looking for an assistant to a CEO/Owner for a small, but very successful business. Essentially, he wanted someone at his disposal night and day. That did not seem like a huge deal. And then the next question came..."Do you mind if someone screams at you?" As soon as I could get past the sirens going off in my head, and visions of Dilbert comic strips, I replied, "Yes, that's not acceptable". The headhunter continued, "Well, he probably wouldn't call you names, but he's a pretty hard driving guy and he raises his voice a lot". Choosing The Right Coach Coaching has become a very popular way for people to get the ongoing support they need to accomplish their goals. However, choosing a coach can be tricky. There are so many METHODS, models, and approaches. Coaches come from every background possible -- from counseling to consulting to corporate America. And each individual has a PERSONALITY, communication style, and temperament that is going to match well with some people and clash with others. So how do you choose someone who is right for you? How Empathy Can Reduce Your Anger Jim, a 42-year old engineer was teaching his eight-year-old son how to fly a radio-controlled airplane. As the airplane was taking off, Jim instructed his son to push the control stick on the radio to the right. He did and the airplane turned to the right. Coaching: The Art of Putting Yourself In Somone Elses Shoes COACHING STEPS: The following are five (5) steps a coach can take to change behavior and performance. The goal of this process is to create the context for the person being coached towards one in which excellence becomes the norm. 1. Observe the action/behavior you want to change. 2. Describe the situation/action you saw. 3. Ask the employees what they saw, their perspective/point of view. 4. Tell the person how you saw the behavior, then 5. Describe what needs to happen instead and why - if appropriate. Friends? I met my friend when we were in graduate school, and we enjoyed hanging out together outside of classes. After receiving our degrees, we both left school to live in different states. That was 10 years ago. Key Questions for a Coaching Conversation There are 2 key skills that coaches need to be truly effective, the ability to listen (often for what is missing rather than what is said) and the ability to ask the right question at the right time. Email Etiquette 1 I thought it might be worth visiting some email etiquette for all as the majority of the readers of this newsletter are now on email.
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