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A Coaching Secret
I've told people for a long time that one of the "secrets" of coaching is forgiveness. Forgiveness takes your finger out of the dyke of the past so you can let the future flow. Buddha said, "forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past." It is an act of total volition, requiring only a softening of the heart. But how do you forgive the unforgivable? Like millions of Americans, I have been steeped in this paradox. D-Day + 64 was very difficult. Honoring our dead in the midst of our current war heightened this conflict for me. How can I coach people to forgive when I am having difficult in forgiving? I've talked about this with people who I deeply respect, trust and love. I share it with you. Forgiveness is releasing the bands on your heart that interfere with your moving forward. To forgive behavior is not to condone it. Condoning is like ignoring, looking the other way. Forgiving is allowing you to look without letting your own history interfere. Personally, I can forgive our soldiers for their appalling behavior and continue to work as hard as I can to change this administration. But here is a totally spiritual view. It is a view that I hold. I come from the notion that the purpose of life for each of us is to be as close to G_d as possible. So that whenever anything bad happens to us, I hold that we have been given another opportunity to move spiritually closer to G_d. I call it the "find the pencil" theory of the universe. When you get closer you get more and more positive feedback ?"you are getting warm, warmer, hot, hotter." And when you respond otherwise, the universe gives you increasingly negative feedback "cool, cold, colder?" So forgiving our soldiers is an opportunity for spiritual growth. You can actually empathize with those you are angry with, because the universe has given them the burden of being that way. Aside from one cousin, all of my relatives from WWII have passed on. The war exists for me as memory and my experiences as a young boy. I remember going on a train from Brooklyn to Miami and being 'adopted' by a group of soldiers a fondly remembered highlight of my boyhood And going to Ebbets Field to watch the Dodgers I sat in the left field bleachers, right next to the section reserved for the military I loved it. I have a photograph of myself at age seven, wearing a full soldier's outfit I love my country. As I forgive today's unfortunate army, I recover my love, my hero worship and my deep respect for these brave, willing, but unwitting young people. And I grieve for those who have so senselessly died. Forgiveness works. Find out more from his website, www.1stClassCoaching.com. Michael Lipp is a senior coach, with over 21 years experience and an extensive background in leadership, design, management and entrepreneurship.
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Business Management How To Give Criticism Without Bruising Egos As responsible employers, parents, and friends, we have an obligation to correct the mistakes of other people in order to enhance their personal success. The task before us is how to correct a deficiency without damaging the delicate ego that can sometimes get in the way. Too often people criticize someone's behavior without providing a solution and this is detrimental because it then becomes a personal attack on the person that only aims to demerit them. Constructive criticism involves pointing out their weakness and offering a solution to correct it. In order to give constructive criticism, we must seek the solution to the problem before we point it out to the person. By doing this, we effectively separate the behavior from the ego and preserve the relationship in the process. Tame The Financial Beast Are holiday bills surprising you? Are you hoping that if you ignore your finances long enough, maybe they will fix themselves? How to Get a Grip on Your Money Most people have no idea where their money goes. They earn it and they spend it. 7 Destructive Habits of Incompetent People WARNING! If you want to have a fantastic life, never engage yourself in these 7 deadly habits that incompetent people do. Listen To Me Lad Says Jack Once upon a time, a very long time ago, when I was first starting out as an apprentice engineer, I was told to sit next to Jack. Curse of Competence: How Being Good gets in the way of Becoming Great Just before the storms hit last winter, my father-in-law and I replaced 26 feet of fence on my property. I must say, for a couple of non-handyman-sorts like the two of us, it is a very well done fence. Making Changes in Your Personal Life Making changes in your personal life can be a tough process. Change starts with a thought. It cannot begin without one. However, what we think and dream is not always what those around us choose to envision for us. The Mid-Life Challenge: Make a Plan to Re-ignite Vocational Passion Nobody will stop you in the hallway at work to ask if your career provides meaning and personal fulfillment. Recognizing that something's missing in your vocational life and taking the initiative to change must come from within. Truth About Life Coaching School Accreditation With life coaching becoming "the" career choice in this millennium, many of you are seeking the right choice for training and certification. Hopefully this article will answer some of your questions. Tips For Singles On Celebrating The New Year It's four weeks away and you don't have any plans. Many of your friends will be away or out with their significant others. You can't believe it's been a whole year and you are facing another dateless New Years Eve. What can you do? Transform Your Office Into A Powerhouse Of Success Did you know that the area that you call your 'office' is a direct reflection of you? If your environment is clean and uncluttered it projects that the person who works there is calm and has everything under control. Consequently if it looks like the local rubbish tip then the impression others get is that this person is disorganised, and a complete mess. A Perrverse Confidante Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 15, 2002 What is Coaching? Recently, I have received several emails asking me about coaching and what it is exactly. So, I decided to answer some of those questions in this article. Discover The Coach Within You One of the three basic roles of leadership is the coach or mentor. The best boss is often the best coach. (See: http://tlc-leadership.com/the_three_faces_of_leadership). In sports the coach is very conscious of his role but in the business world most coaching is unconscious or even accidental. What The Buddha Says About Coaches There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: What Does It Take To Have It All In Life? Many people have asked me why I wrote my book, 'The Street Kid's Guide to Having it All', and I realized that some people simply do not believe that it is possible to 'have it all'. Well, I am here as an ambassador to dispel that rumor once and for all. After July 8, Pay This Amount You undoubtedly go through this, too. A few times a month you gather up the bills coming due and write checks or pay them online. How to Deal Effectively with Anxiety Every human feels anxiety on occasion; it is a part of life. All of us know what it is like to feel worry, nervousness, fear, and concern. We feel nervous when we have to give a speech, go for a job interview, or walk into our boss's office for the annual performance appraisal. We know it's normal to feel a surge of fear when we unexpectedly see a photo of a snake or look down from the top of a tall building. Most of us manage these kinds of anxious feelings fairly well and are able to carry on with our lives without much difficulty. These feelings don't disrupt our lives. Top Ten Things You Would Never Hear a Coach Say (or then again?!) When coaching, it's all about the client, be that as a professional coach, or a line manager/business owner using coaching skills in their own business, with their own people. But it's so easy sometimes to turn the tables and be the client..oh, so easy...:-) Who Do You Talk To? Many of you reading this will be running businesses, or parts of, whether they are your own or not. This means that you have many things to deal with on a day to day basis plus trying to do the long-term thinking needed to lead and run the business. You probably find yourself being very busy, possibly working long hours and, if you are honest, being reactive most of the time. When do you get (or make!) time to really think about your business or the way you are operating personally? (Working on the business rather than in it!) Among the dilemmas you face are; making time to tune out and relax, time think about the business, and finding time talk to about the issues and frustrations.
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