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Viewpoints - Communication Destruction Or....
Viewpoints! Everyone has them and they are personal. However, when you believe that only your view is correct, you shut out other people and do not listen to the facts they are giving. Your brain's "Reticular Activating System" will actually filter away anything that is in contradiction to these beliefs. Basically, you close off communication and any connection with the other person. And where there is no communication, there is no mastery of your life. It is important to understand that our viewpoints are based on our outlook in life. This outlook has been shaped and molded by: There is more than one viewpoint and many situations have multiple viewpoints. If we can back away from ours and look at someone else's side, we are then able to have a greater understanding of the others person's point of view. Only then can true understanding and communication may proceed. This does not mean agreeing with the other person. It means trying to understand theirs. For some people there is a fear to looking at others viewpoints. I have heard people say, what if I am wrong and what if everything that I have believed is wrong? First, just because ours are different, doesn't mean you are wrong. It just means different. This is a lesson that many people in the world still need to understand in order for compassion and wisdom to enter into their lives. Sadly, there are many who would rather live a life of horror and devastation rather that see that there are different ways of doing things. Ask yourself, if you ever believed that you had to get others to accept your way of seeing things? Even if you had force it on them. And ask, why? If you believe that only your viewpoint is right, you make everyone else wrong. In the right / wrong game, there is no understanding, no connection, no communication, and ultimately, no achieving what you desire to. People get defensive when they believe that you are making them wrong, just because you see things differently from them. For example, the words new, expensive and luxury have different meanings for different people. To one person, new may mean getting an outfit at a second hand store. It is new to that person. To another, new would be never worn by anyone. An expensive item to one person may be a $20.00 gift and to another it would be a $1,000.00. Luxury items to one person my mean, TV, a trip, a computer and to another these items may be considered a necessity. None is right or wrong, they are just different outlooks with different values. Ask yourself, what do I consider luxury and necessity and why? Often our assumptions form our views and we look for facts that help prove this. We can even start seeing things that are not there, just to prove we are right. When we stop to realize there may be different ways of looking at things and different possible conclusions, we then can take a step back and see from the others viewpoint. We can then connect with them and see life and other people on a completely new level. Remember from A to C there are many paths of B. Just because you found one does not make it the only way. Steven Covey stated it succinctly when he said, We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be. And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of these assumptions. I wish you great joy and amazement as you discover this for yourself. All the Best! P.S. If you like what you are reading in this
newsletter, you'll love the book,
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Business Management Whats in it for me if I Hire A Coach? 1. An unshakable foundation: Grow Through It It's past bedtime for most working men. It's not unbearably late and I have no appointments tomorrow morning so I sit here and contemplate. Contemplate what? Well, what do I always contemplate? Life, the concept of God, the meaning of life, what's happening in society, and my next step in my own journey; there really is a lot to consider or, more aptly put, more that one can consider. I speak of being in the moment, staying present and not worrying. You are more effective in that place. Yet, there are times for reflection. Fear Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of! What do you do when fear shows up? Do you hide under the covers of life, shivering as you anxiously wait for the moment to pass or do you stand up with a confident smile and embrace it? Coaches, Do You Make These 7 Deadly Cash Flow Mistakes in Your Practice? Managing cash flow is every small business owner's most important function. Avoid these seven deadly mistakes to make sure you aren't creating cash flow problems in your coaching practice. A Perrverse Confidante Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 15, 2002 Curse of Competence: How Being Good gets in the way of Becoming Great Just before the storms hit last winter, my father-in-law and I replaced 26 feet of fence on my property. I must say, for a couple of non-handyman-sorts like the two of us, it is a very well done fence. Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Talking to People? Many moons ago. Talking to people was something I avoided where possible. W Edwards Deming Immediately post second world war W Edwards Deming went to Japan to create order from the crisis that was the Japanese economy. Embracing Excellence Joey rises before dawn to pack his lunch, eager for morning to arrive so he can board the city bus that transports him to his job at a souvenir production facility. From 8:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m., Joey applies decals to souvenir collector spoons. Much like an artist applying brush to canvas, Joey peels a self-sticking decal from its wrapper, painstakingly centers it over the base of the spoon and slowly presses it on the metal. If the decal is not perfectly centered, he peels it off and starts over. Joey glows with pride over the racks of completed spoons, ready to be packaged for shipping to retail stores. The Self Development Tool Box Do you have a self-development toolbox? Do you have a standard set of instruments or mechanisms that you use to delve into your inner self? Just asking yourself those questions makes you think, doesn't it? That is because questioning is the most powerful tool in your self-development toolbox. When we start on the self-development path it is usually because we have asked ourselves a question: who am I, what is it I want, why am I in this position, when can I change, where will this happen and how can I make it happen? Questions can be about us or about others and are used as identifiers. Who do I want to be? Who is standing in the way? Who will support me in this? Who can provide information? A Coaching Secret I've told people for a long time that one of the "secrets" of coaching is forgiveness. Forgiveness takes your finger out of the dyke of the past so you can let the future flow. Buddha said, "forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past." It is an act of total volition, requiring only a softening of the heart. But how do you forgive the unforgivable? Why Daily Planning is So Important for Adults with ADD For adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), details are a drag. We tend to see the big picture and want to jump straight to the finish line, wishing we could skip all the steps in between. Unfortunately, this perspective often causes us to become overwhelmed when it's time to start a project. We know where we want to end up, but we don't know where to start. What Do You Have To Give? "Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes from appreciating what we have, instead of being miserable about what we don't have. It's so simple-yet so hard for the human mind to comprehend." ~ Bits & Pieces What The Buddha Says About Coaches There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill it." This means to kill any concept of the Buddha as something apart from oneself. 4 Quick, Easy Ways to Say No to People Who Take You for Granted No matter how wonderful you are sometimes other people will try to take advantage of your good nature. They will push you, get you to do more than your fair share and keep asking you to do even more. How To Deal With People Who Dislike You When you read books on personal development and articles about making your life better the emphasis is generally on the positive. The Value of Career Coaching and Its Effect on Productivity Athletes the world over have coaches. Yet, workers whose very livelihood depends on their ability to perform well on the job are often unaware of the merits of a career coach. Difficult Challenges? -- What If? Sometimes life can seem like one long series of unsolvable problems. I know there have been times when I would much rather find something else to do and quit whatever I was doing simply because it was too much trouble to continue. In fact, earlier in my life that is exactly what I did do. (And to tell the truth, I wouldn't change it even if I could!) What Dost Thou Speaketh? Hey, Affirm This Way! Articulating repetitive statements with emotion will inevitably connect you to your primary focus. Your destiny is guaranteed, when you repeatedly, decree a seed. How can I make such bold statements? Because ancient wisdom showed me years ago, "As a Fran thinketh (and speaketh); so is she." Reduce Anxiety About Decison Making What's the alternative to making decisions?
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