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Greasing the Path to Success: Finding the Confidence to Step Up to Key Moments
Whether it's making a prospecting call to a promising business contact, giving an informal "elevator speech" to a networking group, or attempting to close a transaction, there are certain key moments when putting your best-dressed foot forward really matters. Some of life's fortunate people seem to be naturally at their best finding confidence under pressure. The rest of us have to learn. Confidence matters. Few would argue that developing confidence is a good investment. You'll be more comfortable and therefore more motivated in your marketing efforts. It's difficult to sustain an effort over the long haul a requirement, for successful networking and marketing if we're miserable doing it. Furthermore, marketing and branding experts tell us that confidence is the #1 reason people buy what they buy. Where do they get confidence to try the product or service for the first time? From you, from your confidence in what you offer. Confidence on command. Let's say you have to make an outreach call to someone who can potentially refer you business. Stomach butterflies are on a rampage. You've scripted the call, but your voice is still flat with anxiety. How do you suddenly summon confidence? Confidence is like one of the body's involuntary muscles. You can't make it fire on command. It either fires or it doesn't. But the smaller muscles around it, contributing to its tone and strength, are voluntary. You can help yourself build confidence by doing the small things. You probably already have a repertoire of quick-fix confidence-builders that work for you. From my years of helping people grow, here are some of my favorites. Practice Talk about your product or service, with strangers as well as acquaintances. Do it again. Do it frequently, whether "successful" or not. Keep the interval between short. Don't let being awkward stop you Create a temporary "no fault" zone, where you goal is to do it, not do it right. Remember: the pool of potential contacts is infinite. There's plenty of room for practice. Let timing help Capitalize on confident or successful moments to create more of them. There will be days when you are under a cloud. Don't try then. Letting yourself off the hook today breeds confidence that tomorrow will be better. Tough love Act "as if" Just do it Protect your environment from negativity: call a temporary moratorium on friends or family who may be envious or skeptical of your endeavor Seek inspiration Rub shoulders with someone who has exuberant confidence in you Read some inspiring quotations Read testimonials from your own clients Watch a squirrel leap through space from a secure branch to an untested one Quit being mean Make a quick list on paper of the 5 confidence-sabotaging voices in your head. Quote them verbatim, and give each one a name. Send them all out for a beer, and while they're gone, make the call All of these suggestions are simple and even simple-minded. They're ways to develop the internal muscles that in turn will support the success we're reaching for. After all, if you are to grow into a new level of success, you will need more than good ideas and hard work. You'll need the internal muscles to support it. Confidence is one of those qualities that can seem to vary with the weather. Very few of us are born for success any more than we're born to bench press three hundred pounds. For most, the daily work-outs, coupled with an attitude that gives generous credit for perseverance, are what qualify us to have that golden ring. I'm cheering for you! About The Author Nina Ham, certified coach and licensed psychotherapist, is principal of Success from the Inside Out, providing individual coaching and teleseminars to build the skills, attitudes and habits for sustainable success in your career or business. Mail to: Nina@womenssuccesscoach.com, subscribe in subject line, for free monthly e-zine, or visit http://www.SuccessfromtheInsideOut.com.
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Business Management Email Etiquette 1 I thought it might be worth visiting some email etiquette for all as the majority of the readers of this newsletter are now on email. Hows Your Self-Talk? You know, what are you saying to yourself? There's always something going on in there. Do you make positive statements about yourself to yourself or are you beating yourself up with your own words? You Have A Choice I'm a relationship coach and, unlike most, I deal with those 'other' relationships. Of course, I make love happen without wings and an arrow, but I really make a difference with business relationships, family relationships, community relationships, old and stale relationships and all the rest that we take for granted, lost or forgotten. Why Bosses Dont Get All the News Not long ago, a friend who works in television complained that the industry has no interest in real business stories. And, I had to agree with him, since we don't see much coverage that doesn't involve stock prices or some sort of scandal. New Definition of Retirement A new definition of retirement is evolving. It's one that's focused on continual exploration, learning and growth. Where the old retirement promised no pressure and stress but left you with no personal growth, no stimulating interaction and no sense of achievement, the new retirement promises life meaning, personal fulfillment, and realization of long-held dreams and 'fun'. It's a time for discovery not felt since youth. What do you dream about? Is it owning a dream home at the lake? Or maybe starting your own business? How about going back to college or taking tree planting lessons? You might spend time with a loved one, help people who are less fortunate, or travel. Keeping Your Anger Under Control In my work with individuals and couples, I see many people who have a difficult time expressing and managing angry feelings. Let's take a look at what causes people to become angry and how they can respond to stressful situations more productively. Your Personal Treasure Chest Sometimes it is helpful to review several of the basic components of THE ENCHANTED SELF. That's what I've decided to do this time. How to Save Yourself from Negative Influences Watching the news can be hazardous to your health. Our Perception Determines Our Experience Not long ago, I traveled back east to Ohio and Chicago. While I was there, I was amazed that the friends I made along my journey seemed to have completely different observations of the state in which they lived. Tripping On Mindfulness One of the ironies of mindfulness is that it's still possible to be forgetful, klutzy, or even distracted while doing our best to pay attention. More Money & Less Stress? At 2pm last Wednesday, I got a call from one of my clients. Before I could barely utter my "hello," she launched headlong into her story - "I am so frustrated! I have this client who has been dragging her feet at every stage of our project. I'm working on a branding campaign for her company and expected to be finished nine months ago, but every time we get to a stage in the project where the ball is in her court, I have to follow-up umpteen times and push and prod just to get her to move forward. In almost every case, it takes her about two months to do something that could have been done in a week. Then, two months later when she's finally finished with her part, she cheerily announces that she's ready for me to start the next phase and wonders how quickly I can do it. Every time this happens I have to completely reacquaint myself with her project. All in all, I've spent almost twice as many hours as I budgeted. How can I get her to wrap up this project so I can move on?," she finished. Budda In Your Back Pocket The other day I was late for something. Not very late. In fact, I was actually on time but an angry voice berated me anyway, saying, "You are late! There will be no seats left. You wouldn't run late if you were more organized!" It was a terrible feeling, especially because the voice was partially right. The Power of a Scope We all know the power of a scope if you need to focus in on a target and hit it. We all need to develop and truly understand the power of the human mind's scope. All of us have inside of us the potential to be as powerful as the most high-tech laser scope available today. A scope is designed to focus in on a target without getting distracted or losing focus in order to hit its target right on the bull's eye. Now remember that all mechanical scopes are programmed by human technology and if we can do it for machines, we can do it for ourselves. 5 Steps to Derail Difficult People - Your Surefire Way to a Peaceful Resolution That one guy at work that always has to be right; your buddy's wife who can't eat anywhere they serve burgers, or the monster-in-law, I mean mother-in-law, with too many opinions for your own good, difficult people, we all know them. So the question is, is there a right and a wrong way to deal with them? The answer is yes, if you want to avoid unnecessary confrontations. How To Deal With People Who Dislike You When you read books on personal development and articles about making your life better the emphasis is generally on the positive. How to Jump-start Your Emotional Health You've probably heard the expression: "It's not what you are eating. It's what's eating you!" This well-known saying reminds us that the thoughts we entertain can have an impact on our health. A Small Piece Of Carpet Have you ever noticed how the way you feel about yourself sometimes depends on whether or not you get confirmation of your value from others? When you enter into challenging situations with a positive self identity you will discover that you are living your life with a greater sense of enjoyment and fulfillment. Communicating Anger Compassionately Whether it is irritability or unmitigated rage, anger is an emotion everyone knows about. Unfortunately, few people have been taught how to mange this feeling in an assertive and compassionate way. If we resort to raising our voice, yelling, or lashing out when we are angry; that is an aggressive expression of anger. Approximately 70% of people have a tendency to suppress anger. In other words, they bottle it up and lash out later. Bottling up feelings often leads to 'anger attacks'-those bursts of rage that leave you feeling guilty afterwards. Success: Cant Achieve It By Yourself? Pay A Professional! So many people go through the motions of trying to achieve success. But just going through the motions doesn't work. And while you may fool a few people for a little while, you can't fool yourself. If you truly want to be successful and can't achieve success by yourself, do the smart thing and pay a professional to help you. Creating An Effective Toolbox For Success WHAT'S IN YOUR TOOLBOX?
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