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Your Personal Treasure Chest
Sometimes it is helpful to review several of the basic components of THE ENCHANTED SELF. That's what I've decided to do this time. Discovering your ENCHANTED SELF is a new way for you to achieve better mental and physical health. It is based on research documenting that within each of us there resides the capacity for achieving states of well-being again and again. What makes THE ENCHANTED SELF different from other holistic therapies are the tools we use on the journey. One of the major tools I use is to encourage people to tap into their own personal memory banks, looking for positive memories that either made you feel good or contained within them aspects of your talents, skills, or potential. Usually I talk about memories that we retrieve via our mind. However, I want to mention that memories are not just housed in our minds. Memories also reside in our bodies. Learning how to look for positive memories and listen to the wisdom of our body is also part of THE ENCHANTED SELF journey or process. I talk much less about the body than the mind. However, it is very much a factor in the experience of delight and maintaining a sense of well-being. If I enjoyed rocking on the porch as a child I may well enjoy the slow circular movements of Tai Chi as an adult. If I hated roller skating as a kid and feared falling, I may not want to do anything that involves slipping and sliding as an adult. Searching for your ENCHANTED SELF is akin to going on a treasure hunt. It is very thrilling to reach into your treasure chest of stored memories and discover strengths and talents that were never recognized or validated. It's like finding a diamond in the rough just waiting to be polished. In my book, THE ENCHANTE SELF, A Positive Therapy, I discuss how I too had to reframe some of my past. I was amazed to look at myself and what I did again and now see strengths and talents that I had not celebrated. Like any new endeavor, people may sometimes find it difficult to begin the journey. What really helped me was seeing that even parts of myself that I had not valued earlier because I felt uncomfortable about them or the culture did not support those traits, ultimately helped to define me, give me shape as a person and literally became the components of my life story. Those details are presented in my first book and are way beyond the scope of this little article, but here is a simple play date with Enchantment to get you started: A Playdate With Enchantment Quickly review the past twenty-four hours. Write down ten positive happenings that occurred in your life during that time. Positive happenings could be just continuing to breath, receiving a phone call from a high school friend, watching beams of sunlight sparkling in a puddle of water, playing a game of basketball or tennis, or taking a dance class. For me, I succeeded in cleaning out one more little pile of papers, had lunch with some great friends and fought my way mentally out of a bad mood! And I haven't finished the search. Perhaps the best moment was holding Blackie, my big obviously black cat, on my lap while sitting in the dark outside. He felt really good! In reviewing the list we can break down these positive experiences into several categories: 1. Those that give a general sense of well being. 2. Those that reflect specific talents and interests. 3. Those that suggest potential capacities. As we begin to realize our ENCHANTED SELVES, one of the first steps is documenting and learning to recognize what already works for us. Because the shoe already fits and feels good does not trivialize it! Celebrate what is already working for you. You enjoy your cup of coffee in the morning and the paper? Great. That is a wonderful small habit that works for you! In our society, we have a tendency to disregard and diminish our personal small successes and states of well being. I believe this is a reflection of our tendency to focus on our dysfunction and what is not working for us, rather than what does work. The more that we can recognize and validate what does work for us, the closer we come to achieving states of well being. That's why I want you to really make a list of what did work and felt good in the last twenty-four hours. You may be very surprised at how much went right! As they say, try it. You'll like it! About The Author Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com. Chat with others in Dr. Holstein's e-group, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself/join, and sign up for her free e-group at www.enchantedself.com. Order her book, THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, or the CD-rom or tape version and her book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, or the ED-rom version, at http://www.enchantedself.com/ordering/ordering.htm.
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Business Management Recreating Yourself So it's time for a change. You've taken that hard look in the mirror and you've decided that who you are is not who you want to be. Or perhaps you are standing at a fork in the road and where you would like to go requires that you make some changes. Maybe you are just really bored with your life as you've been in that same old rut for so long that you just want to scream if you spend another day doing the same amazingly boring things all over again. The reasons for change are as varied as the people making the decision to do so. The only thing you have to remember is that the change must come from you, not from someone else. And it can't be a gift to someone else, it won't work. Ultimately, recreating ourselves is a very personal choice and a very personal decision that others really can't help us with. A Fresh Look at the Choices We Make We are frequently held back from making future plans or reaching goals based on the perceived wrongness of choices we've made in the past. I want to give you something to think about. 101 Winning Choices Personal missions statements (PMS) are just nothing but the winning choices. Our mind can program us in such a way that success ratio in personal, social & professional life changes drastically. The Fastest Way to Ruin Yourself I don't know many people who would admit to wanting to ruin themselves, but there are a lot of people who are doing everything they can to accomplish that very goal. They certainly don't see it that way, but if you look at the way they live, you can see it happening. Great Advice It never ceases to amaze me that every time I give a speech, do a seminar, or talk with people one-on-one, I get inundated with questions seeking the almighty answers to all that ails them. However, when I press them to come up with an answer to their own situation, they usually respond by offering their own solution right back to me. Your Silent Voice of Experience "I can't wait!" she exclaimed over the phone. The anticipation in her voice was evident as we scheduled a time to meet and discuss her new fund raising project. This client had a gigantic goal. She also needed lots of information in order to begin. Learning To Recognize Your Ego What is an ego? Feeling Self-Conscious? 6 Tips to Turn it Around Fast! When you feel self-conscious it means you are putting too much attention on your self, too much focus on what you are doing and how you are doing it. And this is a formula for poor performance. Why Daily Planning is So Important for Adults with ADD For adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), details are a drag. We tend to see the big picture and want to jump straight to the finish line, wishing we could skip all the steps in between. Unfortunately, this perspective often causes us to become overwhelmed when it's time to start a project. We know where we want to end up, but we don't know where to start. Who Are You Mixing It With? I talk and write a lot about Life Design creating and sculpting a life that is fulfilling for you. It is about shaping your personal landscape and environment. Coaching: Change Made Simple Here's a story that I think gets at why we have such difficulty with change. Change vs Transition "There is a time for departure, even when there's no certain place to go." -- Tennessee Williams Different New-Years Resolution - Pass-It-Forward Every 12 months, as the New-Year rolls around, we all brag about our New-Year's Resolutions. With inflated chests and with all the authority we can muster, we announce to any and every available ear, that we're going to lose weight, stop drinking and smoking so much, as well as spend more time with our family, in addition to investing more time down at the gym. Coaching Skills Introduction Choosing an Apprentice Along the path from where you are now to millions in revenue, thousands in readers, tens of thousands of prospects, or hundreds of clients -- whatever criteria you use to define success for your coaching...there us is one key speedbump which is seldom talked about. That is capacity. This is especially true as your revenues grow up to six figures and you set your sights on building a seven-figure legacy business with a global impact. How do you get your head around this problem? What secrets will ease your way through the growing pains? In all the many thousands of hours of consulting, coaching and training I've done, there is only one key I've found to date that doesn't require significant cash investment. And that is the concept of apprentices. What I Would Include In A Coaching Book A coach is an essential figure in providing direction and leadership to his/her team. In sports, coaches are sometimes evaluated on the number of wins they can produce. In a business setting, coaches are evaluated on how efficient they are in providing a healthy work environment for employees. How to Tune In Your Brain & Feel Confident with People in Moments One day when I was in school, many years ago, the school principal wandered into our class room, sat down and started to talk. The Pitfalls of Procrastination We all put off making decisions and taking action sometimes (yes, me too). It's okay to do that occasionally but if you are a regular pontificator then it will constantly cause you pain, even if you aren't aware of it. By putting things off on a regular basis you hold yourself back and instead of progressing in your life, you'll regress. A Numbers Game! Three years ago, Paul left his corporate job to launch his freelance writing career, and he's done relatively well. He has a group of regular clients that keep him going, and they are happy with his work. Mind the Gap The underground train in London can get you anywhere when you know how to maneuver all the options. Like our subways, London under ground is a busy place. When your train arrives and comes to a stop, you move forward with the crowd, waiting for your turn to get on the train. A man's voice drones from overhead, warning you over and over: "Mind the gap. . . mind the gap."
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