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Attention! Thought Crossing! Or, The Secret of What's Between Your Ears
What are you thinking - right now? 'I'm reading your article!' you say. Well, take a little bit of a closer look. What's spinning in the back of your mind? Is it that big deadline that's looming at the end of the week? Or how you are going to deal with your mother-in-law this weekend? Or maybe you are worrying about your finances? Are you even aware of the thoughts going through your head right now? What about... now? Some Bad News From the Thought Police Scientists estimate that an average person will think at a rate of roughly between 1 and 4 thoughts per second while awake. That's well over 60,000 thoughts during a typical day! And, of all this jabbering going on in your head, it's estimated that you've thought over 95% of your thoughts before. So, not only is your mind generally on a constant hamster wheel, but it's also doing this spinning continuously, unproductively - and unoriginally. The Power Between Your Ears - It's Not What You Think Enough bad news? Ok - now here's the other side of the story. You have within you the greatest, simplest, and most powerful tool imaginable. It can lead you to great prosperity, joy, and fulfillment - or it can drop you instantly into the depths of despair and negativity. No, I'm not talking simply about the power of thought - not even a fraction of those thousands of stale, repeat thoughts running through your head right now will be of much use to you. (Trust me; nope, not even the one wondering for the tenth time whether you turned the stove off this morning). But what is powerful is where you put your attention within all this clatter. Mr. Webster Says: 'Attention: Concentration of the mental powers; a close or careful observing or listening'. So how does that apply to you? 'Concentration of the mental powers' - all too often, we give away the concentration part of our attention to things utterly undeserving. Thoughts of worry, negative predictions, minor irritations, and daily minutiae are hardly productive, and take up too much room in your head. And this leaves very little space for the second, critical, aspect of attention: 'a close or careful observing or listening'. We, as a culture, don't like to sit back and listen. We prefer to be constantly inundated with forceful messages which grab our attention and don't let go. We too often forget to sit back and actually listen to the small voice of intuition. You know, the one that already has the answers that we're trying so hard to figure out. Try It Now Give it a shot. Really. Stop for a minute, and focus actively on your thoughts - concentrate. What are you thinking? You know, that quiet and incessant little buzz behind your eyes; that unsettled feeling - what's behind that? Now shift your attention to listening, see if there's a message waiting for you. Just below the surface, what is it saying? Listen... You're now learning to distinguish the noise of your mind from the voice of your intuition, your inner knowing - all through the tool of attention. You Are Not Your Thoughts There's huge power in putting your attention actively on your thoughts. This helps you to separate the you from the thought. You are not your thoughts, you are having thoughts, they are passing through your head. You are bigger than your thoughts, and you can choose whether or not you want to give them power. And you do this by either giving them your attention, or by allowing them to just float on by. Head and Heart And it's not just thoughts that you can focus your attention on. As cognitive psychologists and holistic healers have known for years, emotions and thoughts are deeply intertwined. One influences the other, and both influence your physical biochemistry. So learning to actively focus your attention on the thoughts and feelings you want, while letting go of those you don't want, could be the best thing you'll ever do for your health, your well being, and your happiness. Oy Vey 'Great', you may say. 'But it isn't so easy to catch my thoughts and feelings, or to do something about them. I don't even know how I feel half of the time, and the thoughts go by so quickly!' Fear not - here's are a few simple exercises. Use Your Words One way to 'catch' your fleeting thoughts and feelings and to focus your attention on them is to 'use your words'. Just like a parent may tell an unruly and whining child who is about to pick a fight to 'use your words' to explain what's bothering him, so can you gently nudge yourself to discipline. This may seem silly, but it's remarkably powerful. Write down or speak out loud (or into a tape recorder) exactly what the thoughts and feelings are. Articulating them clearly gives them shape and focus, and allows you much more freedom to act in a way that supports your growth. Thanks For Sharing Now, as for how to manage the spinning and repeating thoughts, here's a very simple and effective trick. Just like a parent knows not to take everything their child says too seriously, you can also learn to distinguish helpful thoughts and feelings from destructive ones. You can simply tell your thinker - 'thanks for sharing. I will take your comments under advisement. Now, please move along'. So What? So how does all this relate to helping you find 'what's next', or guiding you to 'a you-er you'? Very directly, actually. If you practice putting your direct attention on the jabbering of your mind, articulating those slippery thoughts, and consciously and purposefully telling them 'thanks for sharing!' and then purposefully re-focusing your attention where YOU choose, you will begin to create the space for your true inner voice to come through. Plant the Seeds: Now it's your turn. Take a couple of minutes and try these exercises. Really. Try it now. You never know - hey, what's next..? 1. Practice noticing your thoughts. Try the exercise in the 'Try it Now' section above. Really. 2. Use your words. Get over feeling silly, and actually write down what your thoughts are. Try speaking, try using a tape recorder. Experiment. Notice which thoughts show up over and over. Note your top 5 - make friends with them, and thank them profusely for sharing. And remember - attention is power. What thoughts are you giving your power to? 3. Choose consciously. Once you become aware of the thoughts going through your head, you can begin to make choices. For example: 'Hm, I've been thinking a lot about how unhappy I am in my job. Thanks for sharing. Duly noted. I think I'll choose to focus my attention elsewhere right now, thanks.' P.S. So - what are you thinking... now? As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, comments, and insights. Drop me a line at mailto:in@heyWhatsNext.com. © 2004 Inna Nirenburg About The Author Inna Nirenburg is a powerful life coach and workshop leader. She uses her deep wisdom and intuition, as well as a concrete actionable process, to help you answer the question 'What's Next?' in all areas of your life. See http://www.heyWhatsNext.com for more information, or to subscribe to her monthly newsletter, 'Inklings: Your Guide to a You-er You'.
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Business Management Should I Get A Coach? Why should or would someone hire a life coach? Well, why would anyone purchase the services of a personal trainer, and interior designer or a sports coach - any professional "assistant" for that matter? After all, we all know how to exercise, how to hang a curtain and how to play our own game. But we hire a professional because we know that they will hold us accountable on our goals and objectives - and since we're paying good money for them to be there, often whether we show up or not, we have an added incentive to do so ourselves. We also understand that even though our knowledge of what we're doing may be strong, a professional always has tips, tools and tricks at their disposal which can save us time, aggravation and money. And we get that even the best of best can't "see themselves" from the outside and don't have the objective standpoint about their skills and abilities that a trained and experienced professional can bring to bear on any given situation. Coaching: YOU Can Improve Your Organizations Performance GOOD BUSINESS COACHING: Clearly, the right kind of coaching can alter a team's or an organization's performance. The implication for business is that if you create a climate of coaching in any organization, you can produce performance that exceeds your expectations - and you won't have to change the people to do so. Coaching can produce star performers in organizations, even when the players are people of ordinary talent and ability. Living In The Now I hope you are sitting down as you read this! You cannot begin to work on this kind of subject without addressing the subject of time itself and when was the last time you did that? How Can Sceptics Get the Proof They Need Are you one of those folks that needs to figure-it-out all the time? Are you one of those Law of Attraction students who catches yourself saying things like, "I wonder how this is going to come to me?" or, "What do I need to figure out so I know what to do next (to manifest what I desire)?" Attention Law of Attraction Students! Executive Coaching Case Studies If you are wondering whether investment in executive coaching would promote your business growth, some case studies might help you in making a decision. What I Would Include In A Coaching Book A coach is an essential figure in providing direction and leadership to his/her team. In sports, coaches are sometimes evaluated on the number of wins they can produce. In a business setting, coaches are evaluated on how efficient they are in providing a healthy work environment for employees. Tripping On Mindfulness One of the ironies of mindfulness is that it's still possible to be forgetful, klutzy, or even distracted while doing our best to pay attention. Are You Invisible? Ellen was brought up to be invisible. She was taught to be very tuned into others' feelings and needs, but to never have any of her own. Her family made it clear to her that her job was to give to them but to never expect anything in return. As a result, Ellen learned to be totally tuned out to her own feelings and needs. It was as if she, as a person, did not really exist, other than to be there for others. A Fresh Look at the Choices We Make We are frequently held back from making future plans or reaching goals based on the perceived wrongness of choices we've made in the past. I want to give you something to think about. Life Coaching for Success and Fulfilment We live in a world of rapid change and uncertainty. Nothing is as it was even ten years ago. This means there is major pressure on all of us to change, everything is speeded up; we have to learn fast or risk being left behind. All areas of life are affected. Relationships lack commitment, health can no longer be taken for granted, financial security can disappear over night. Careers are insecure, global security is challenged and stress is at an all time high. We have more choices in life than ever before. So how do we find stability and manage choice in this fast changing world? You Can Get There From Here But first you've got to raise your standards. Plug in Your Systems for Success Have you ever noticed that so many of us who work diligently and ethically rarely achieve our objectives? And, why is it that those who-seemingly-work half as hard and half as long experience one success after another? Business Career, Executive Coaching Article - Leadership: Understanding the Human Condition "Nothing is more practical than for people to deepen themselves. The more you understand the human condition the more effective you are as a businessperson. Human depth makes business sense." 4 Brilliant Tips to Speed Read Faster than Ever Many people, particularly students, would love to be able to absorb information faster. But before retaining information, they have to go through the first stage of learning, which is reading. Can You Say No? As a manager you are constantly being asked to do things - by your boss, by one of your fellow managers, by the head of another department, by one of your staff. Tips For Singles On Celebrating The New Year It's four weeks away and you don't have any plans. Many of your friends will be away or out with their significant others. You can't believe it's been a whole year and you are facing another dateless New Years Eve. What can you do? Are You Too Critical? First of all, criticalness breaks up more relationships, than anything else. And that criticalness is usually over the children or money! How Does Sports Coaching Differ from Corporate Coaching? Athletes Versus Employees Top Ten Reasons to Hire a Personal Coach Have you considered hiring a personal coach? Jack Canfield, in The Success Principles says hiring a "personal coach is one of the best-kept secrets of the successful." Mentors and Coaches: How to Be a Great Mentee or Learner When you invest your time in being a mentee you will be rewarded with accelerated learning and experiences from your mentor. You will learn from and avoid the mistakes that they may have made, learn about your industry, meet great people, form valuable relationships and be able to mentor someone in your future. If your organisation offers a mentoring program, sign up and get involved. If there isn't a formal mentoring program, suggest one or identify people you would like to learn from and approach them about mentoring you. If you are going to approach someone about being your mentor make sure you present yourself professionally and show your prospective mentor that you are serious and committed by having a mentoring plan in place.
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