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Its Story Time! - Find the Power Within, or The Truth About Dogs
I heard a story recently, and wanted to share it with you. It goes something like this: Once upon a time... The chief was sitting at the edge of the village, obviously deep in thought. He sat there for hours and hours, seemingly unmoving. The tribe was beginning to get worried and restless, but nobody wanted to disturb him. An elder eventually got up his courage and walked over. 'Chief,' he asked, 'what's going on? You look so troubled!' The chief just sat there, and the elder thought that he had not heard. Finally the chief spoke. And he said: 'You know, it's like there are two dogs fighting inside of me all the time - a white dog and a black dog. The black dog is mean and angry. The white dog is good and kind. And the black dog is constantly fighting the white dog.' The elder looked at the chief and said quietly, 'Chief, so which dog wins?' The chief sat quietly for a moment, and then replied: 'the one I feed the most.' The black dog All of us have some version of that story going on inside us all the time, on some level. Our 'black dog self' is mean, irritable, and angry. It is driven by fear, and has us look at the world through the lens of shortage, struggle, and judgment. This is how we are when we're feeling small, anxious, and spiritually disconnected. We act from this place when we honk at someone in traffic, worry constantly about money, snap at our families, friends, or coworkers, or respond in a way that is defensive, irritable, or anxious. Unfortunately, it is all too common for many of us to choose to relate with the world from this part of ourselves. And the white dog Yet we, each of us, also have another part of ourselves, at our core, underneath the loud yappings of the 'black dog self'. This is, to continue with the metaphor, our 'white dog self', and it is guided by love and kindness. This is the part of us that longs to live with purpose and to have an impact on the world. It is our authentic self, our essence. Our creativity lives here, as do our intuition, faith, and sense of connection and compassion. There's a sense of ease and joy in our life when we approach things from this 'white dog self'. We are honoring this part of us when we indulge our creativity, do something nice for someone else, act from a place of compassion, or sit in quiet meditation. The more we learn to recognize, honor, and use this part of ourselves, the more joy and fulfillment we'll feel in our daily lives. It's feeding time There's a lot of wisdom in the chief's answer. 'Feeding the dogs' is a metaphor for how we direct our thoughts, what we choose to focus on. Have you ever found yourself re-hashing an angry conversation in your head? Or dwelling on a mishap? Yup, that's feeding the 'black dog'. And what about times when you felt at ease, said 'hi' to and smiled at people on the street, connected with a vision of where you want to be, or sat in quiet meditation to clear the clutter out of your head? Those are some possible ways to feed the 'white dog'. You have the power The best part of this story, the 'happily ever after' bit, is that you have complete choice of which of these aspects of your self you want to bring to the forefront. They are both a part of you, and you get to decide, moment by moment, how you want to react, and where you want to direct your thoughts and energy. Plant the Seeds: Now it's your turn. Take a couple of minutes and try these exercises. Really. Try it now. You never know - hey, what's next..? 1. Take a minute and connect with your 'black dog self' - the one that's fearful and irritable. See what it feels like - what are the sensations in your body? What are the messages you are telling yourself - and projecting into the world - when you are in this state? Write these down. 2. Now, shake off that black dog, and connect with your 'white dog self' - that kind, loving place. Breathe into it - what are the sensations in your body from this place? 3. In your daily life, what proportion of the time do you live from each of these parts of yourself? Start noticing. Play a game with yourself - carry a little card in your wallet, and make two columns on it. Each time you notice you are acting from 'black dog self', place a check in the 'black dog' column. Ditto for 'white dog'. Soon you'll gain a richer awareness of your automatic responses, and be able to more actively choose how you react. 4. What does 'feeding the dog' mean to you? How do you feed your black and white dog selves? 5. Think about a recent situation where you acted from your 'black dog self' - a fight, altercation, or other unpleasant situation. Really put yourself back there, into how you were feeling at that time. Now ask yourself - what could be different in that situation if you chose instead to come from love and kindness? As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, comments, and insights. Drop me a line at mailto:in@heyWhatsNext.com . © 2004 Inna Nirenburg About The Author Inna Nirenburg is a powerful life coach and workshop leader. She uses her deep wisdom and intuition, as well as a concrete actionable process, to help you answer the question 'What's Next?' in all areas of your life. See http://www.heyWhatsNext.com for more information, or to subscribe to her monthly newsletter, 'Inklings: Your Guide to a You-er You'.
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Business Management Do You Really Need A Home Business Mentor? Having a mentor can mean the difference between success and failure if you want to have a successful Internet home business. Voice Care for Coaches Coaches rely heavily on their voice to service clients. If you also give teleclasses or workshops, voice maintenance needs to be one of their top self-care priorities. This information also applies to singers, speakers, or sales professionals. Handling Disappointment Disappointment is an inevitable part of home-based business. Clients won't pay, bids fall through, or business associates don't come through on their promises or act unethically. Some people will deliberately foster cynicism in their consciousness as a way of avoiding the pain of disappointment. This is mistaken as a means of making life better. Disappointment is a temporary condition. Cynicism is a long term poisoning sickness. Neither is necessary; but until the addiction to cynicism is broken, the attraction of positive events in life is greatly inhibited. Thus there is a cycle of disappointment and cynicism. Let go of that negativity and let the good in. Just Listen, Please! When did you last do that? When did you last listen to yourself? Is there a small voice inside you calling out "Just listen to me" Just listen. Please". "All I want is for you to listen to me". " I am tired and fed up of continuing doing. Just stop for a moment and just listen. Please". Beware of Psychic Vampires I am often asked how I stay happy and motivated all the time. The answer has two parts to it; positivity and self-talk. Essence of Awakeness Be conscious, aware, and alert. Pay attention. Remember when you were in elementary school and the teacher used to say pay attention now, this is important? Well, this is important. Wake up! What does it take to wake up an adult? Many people go through life on automatic, doing life as it comes along. What kind of things occurs that is considered a wake up call? The death of a loved one, a miracle, a near death experience, the birth of a child, a divorce, a marriage, a spiritual experience, a great accomplishment, a serious illness, an award, losing a job, winning the lottery, which of these would wake you up? The Harvest: Shared Power The fall harvest comes upon us once a year. The farmers collect the sometimes-scant rewards of their heroic efforts begun months before. For those of us who are hobby or family gardeners, fall is the time for us to pluck the firm orange pumpkins, the deep green flowers of broccoli, and the plump red tomatoes from their vines. As we reap our rewards of months of work and waiting from the backdrop of the black, black earth, we realize our personal power. If not for our labors, if not for our devoted attention and timely reaction to environmental hazards, these fruits would not be borne. The seeds we sowed in the early spring have given us sustenance and security for the coming frigidness. Leading Grief Groups: The Preliminaries Preparation: Masterminding Success - How to Start a Masterminding Meeting? Masterminding is about a group of like-minded, achievement-oriented individuals who come together to combine the power of several minds to tackle problems, seek advice and perspectives in achieving their goals. How To Deal With People Who Dislike You When you read books on personal development and articles about making your life better the emphasis is generally on the positive. Its Not What You Think My work in organizations involves dropping habitual ways of perceiving in order to contact a fresh and subtle perceiving "under the surface" of what is going on. That deeper sense of perceiving allows the emergence of what I call the Engaging Leader, or the genuine expression of myself and the collective. Why Pacing and Leading is for Wimps! Okay, you have read some books on body language and they all said you must mirror and match, pace and lead.... Crisis: Danger or Opportunity? I have often heard motivational speakers say that the word crisis in Chinese means both danger and opportunity. In investigating the facts, I have found running arguments on the web as to whether or not this is true. I personally do not speak Chinese and am certainly not an expert on this matter. The Value of Coaching to Support Your Business and Your Life In our daily lives as well as in our businesses, we typically operate from the perspective of doing the best we know how to do in dealing with life's challenges and opportunities. If we knew what it would take to be more effective in our relationships, more productive in our activities or more successful in reaching our goals, we would surely alter our behavior to correspond with these insights. The only access we ordinarily have to impact our lives comes from the areas of "what we know" and "what we don't know." In our efforts to achieve more, we usually resort to increasing what we do know by learning to do things a little better, a little different or we simply do more of a behavior that produced a certain result for us in the past. This behavior can predictably result in small, incremental increases in our ability to impact our business and our world. Likewise, by educating ourselves in the arena of "what we don't know," this knowledge then becomes part of what we now do know. As an example, if you are computer illiterate and you apply yourself to learn how to adeptly operate a computer, you will have successfully taken something that you do not know and converted it into what you now know. More than 95% of our efforts are spent in these two arenas what we know and what we don't know. Context is King! If you've been around the Internet for more than two hours, you've probably heard someone say it or write it. If you haven't, you will. Using Audio Programs to Increase Your Knowledge and Productivity If you do any significant amount of driving, a simple thing you can do to increase your productivity is to listen to audio programs in your car. If your commute time to work is 45 - 60 minutes each way, you can easily listen to at least 1 book each week. Over the course of a year, that can add up to about 50 books. That is a significant number. Overcoming Work Addiction Why are you so busy? Do you really have too much work? Is work so important to you that you'll sacrifice just about anything in your life to get the job done? Even if it's at the expense of your health and your relationships? How to Slow Your Spinning Mind Have you ever laid in bed trying to fall asleep, but your mind keeps spinning with all the things you need to do? Your thoughts just keep ticking? Mid Life Crisis and the Great American Dream One of the mainstays of American culture is the "Great American Dream". Immigrants would uproot their families and leave their homeland in the hopes of experiencing the freedom and opportunity that awaits them in America. While it is true that our Declaration of Independence states, "we are endowed by our creator with certain alienable rights and among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness", it was probably Horatio Alger who did more to popularize the "American Dream". He wrote more than 134 successful short novels targeting the rags to riches theme. His theme was that if you were honest, worked hard, had a strong determination, did your best and always tried to do the right thing, you would succeed. Alger captured the essence, emotion, soul and especially the spirit of an emerging America. The association between happiness and success was taking root in American culture. Great Advice It never ceases to amaze me that every time I give a speech, do a seminar, or talk with people one-on-one, I get inundated with questions seeking the almighty answers to all that ails them. However, when I press them to come up with an answer to their own situation, they usually respond by offering their own solution right back to me.
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