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Say Adios to the Fear of Rejection!
Do you ever get an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach when you have to approach someone? In situations like this does your mind go blank? This is not unusual. That feeling is often the fear of rejection. When you feel afraid your emotions take over, you feel tense and your ability to think logically vanishes into thin air. And that is why you can talk to close friends without a care in the world but never know what to say when you meet new people. i.e. emotions cloud your thinking. What is the answer to this challenge? You need to take charge of the fear of rejection: 1. Imagine the worst case scenario. Run it through in your mind. How will you handle rejection if it does happen? Our fears often take on a life of their own. However when you can stop for a moment and plan in advance, whatever does happen is usually not so bad after all. Once you accept this you will feel more relaxed and better able to deal with what does happen. 2. Decide what rejection means When we react emotionally to rejection we can usually come up with some awful reasons why people reject us, such as:
These limiting thoughts are only making things worse for you. And the strange thing is that only you can choose what rejection means for you. Meaning is a choice so why not choose more empowering meanings? Such as:
Decide what rejection really means before it happens and you will feel a lot better about yourself if it does happen. Like I always say... Knowing what to say is not just a matter of what words to speak, that is only the tip of the iceberg, ninety per cent of the solution depends on you taking charge of your emotional and mental states. When you do this you will be able to talk to anyone you meet with the same ease you talk to close friends. One final point... Are these techniques designed to be used once? No! These strategies will in time become part of who you are and how you live. Like any skill the more you use them the better you will get. Aim to improve slightly each and everyday and you will make huge progress in the coming weeks and months. As long as you make it a daily habit. Doing a little now and again and expecting rapid progress is like exercising once a month and expecting to be slim and fit. Aim for steady, gradual improvement and you will grow even faster than you expect! About The Author Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
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So, if you say you cannot do something, the mind interprets that as a command and makes sure you cannot do it. If you say you are confused and don't know what you want, the mind makes sure you have that experience. Living On Purpose The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose. Those individuals who live their lives 'on purpose' are not prone to wondering what the meaning and purpose of their life is. Training is Not the Same Thing as Exercising What it takes to GROW! We Are the Five People We Associate with Most Last month I was invited to participate in a charity golf tournament in Las Vegas to celebrate the life of the late dancing legend Gregory Hines. The event was held to raise funds and awareness of the tragic disease that took this entertainer's life. Some Business Coaches are in Error Many business coaches deny the power of suggestion while using it. 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Coaching can produce star performers in organizations, even when the players are people of ordinary talent and ability. Throw a No-Heat Party for the Planet Is it really possible to have loads of fun, and help the planet at the same time? Personal Development Profiles Personal development profiles, also known as personality profiles, are a tool I frequently use before starting a course of coaching with a client. The client answers a series of questions about preferred behaviour styles and their responses generate a report which outlines their strengths, areas for improvement, blind spots, their contribution to the team, ways they could improve their communication and how to deal with challenging people. Different New-Years Resolution - Pass-It-Forward Every 12 months, as the New-Year rolls around, we all brag about our New-Year's Resolutions. 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They are constantly searching for their next victim. Like P.T. Barnum once said, "there's a sucker born every minute", so there's a plenteous pool. Sheep Do Not Start Out Lost Have you ever thought about how sheep get lost? Even with a shepherd, they still get lost. How does this happen? The one thing I know for sure is that they did not start out lost. Taking The Coach Approach When you use what you go through to grow through, you take the coach approach. I am suggesting that you hire your own counsel. After all, who else knows your dreams, goals, and intentions better than you do? Who else has access to your inner compass? What The Buddha Says About Coaches There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill it." This means to kill any concept of the Buddha as something apart from oneself.
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