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How to Solve Disputes with the Helicopter Talk Technique
Do you ever find that when a friend asks for your opinion on a problem it is a lot easier for you to see a solution than it is for your friend? And do you also find that sometimes you feel completely stuck when it comes to your own problems? The same applies to disputes, relationship issues and disagreements. When you are part of the problem it can be very difficult to see a solution. What you need at times like this is a helicopter! Helicopter Talk Technique: 1. Imagine you are in a helicopter flying high above the town you live in. Now travel to where you last had a dispute with a family member, friend or work mate. 2. From the safety and distance of the helicopter above rerun the last conversation when the trouble flared up. Watch the scene unfold and pay attention to how you communicated rather than who was in the right. 3. Ask yourself:
Your goal is to be emotionally detached yet concerned with finding the best solution in the same way you help a friend with a problem. 4. Imagine a trusted friend is in the helicopter observing:
Your own private helicopter can be used to identify patterns of communication you have that land you in hot water as well as new ways of dealing with problems. Have fun in the sky! About The Author Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
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Business Management Unhook From The Perpetual Progress Grid I have been a member of a group called the Women in Business Connection (WIBC for short) in Cambridge, MA for about four years. We get together for lunch meetings once a month. Last week at our December event several of the women commented to me how much they liked my newsletter. It is always nice to hear complimentary feedback but one woman went even farther - she said it was like getting a "Zen moment" in her email. (Thanks Cibeline!) Hows Your Self-Talk? You know, what are you saying to yourself? There's always something going on in there. Do you make positive statements about yourself to yourself or are you beating yourself up with your own words? The X-factor Would you agree that today most of us have the same set of opportunities and the same set potential? 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You probably find yourself being very busy, possibly working long hours and, if you are honest, being reactive most of the time. When do you get (or make!) time to really think about your business or the way you are operating personally? (Working on the business rather than in it!) Among the dilemmas you face are; making time to tune out and relax, time think about the business, and finding time talk to about the issues and frustrations. Coaching vs. Directing - How Does Improv Theater Suggest You Should Lead Your Team An age old battle in improv that I believe resonates well with challenges we experience in the business world is the question of whether a team should have a coach or a director (in which case it should be called an ensemble). In addition there's the third option of the self coached team, which I will call committee from here on forward. Fear of Intimacy Emotional intimacy is one of the most wonderful experiences we ever have. Nothing else really comes close to the experience of sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings with another, of being deeply seen and known, of sharing love, passion, laughter, joy, and/or creativity. The experience of intimacy fills our souls and takes away our loneliness. The Adventure Attitude Of the 60,000 people who lived to be over 100 in the United States in 2002, the single most important characteristic they had in common was their ability to be positive in the face of change. They were able to look at things objectively, put them in perspective and move on. They did not try to control the uncontrollable. Surviving, thriving and living a long happy healthy life may just depend on your ability to develop the Adventure Attitude. Life Coaching for Success and Fulfilment We live in a world of rapid change and uncertainty. Nothing is as it was even ten years ago. This means there is major pressure on all of us to change, everything is speeded up; we have to learn fast or risk being left behind. All areas of life are affected. Relationships lack commitment, health can no longer be taken for granted, financial security can disappear over night. Careers are insecure, global security is challenged and stress is at an all time high. We have more choices in life than ever before. So how do we find stability and manage choice in this fast changing world? Life - Is It Just An Illusion? It's a well-known fact that electrons and atoms move at the speed of light, technically flickering in and out of existence. In other words, half of the time we are actually not here. Coaching: YOU Can Improve Your Organizations Performance GOOD BUSINESS COACHING: Clearly, the right kind of coaching can alter a team's or an organization's performance. The implication for business is that if you create a climate of coaching in any organization, you can produce performance that exceeds your expectations - and you won't have to change the people to do so. Coaching can produce star performers in organizations, even when the players are people of ordinary talent and ability. Happiness and Work: Your Life Depends On It. Early one morning, Robert awoke, made his wife of 41 years some banana bread, took out the garbage and called to cancel a doctors appointment scheduled for the next day. He wrote a note to remind his wife to pick up the dry cleaning. All things considered, it seemed like a normal day. Solution-Focused Therapy Most types of psychotherapy involve exploring feelings, being validated, finding explanations, exploring wishes and dreams, setting goals, and gaining clarity. Every therapist has unique ways of working with clients, based on his or her personality, training, and views of how people change. A solution-focused therapist is likely to do the following: The Best Things in Life Are Rarely Things Have you ever noticed this to be true? Leadership Coaching Easier Said Than done Recently at a Pharmaceutical meeting in Europe, one of the presenters shared the results of a recent study that demonstrated that Managers who were trained in Eight Step Coaching Skills were out selling DM's who were not trained in the program. This quantitative data seems to support that the cornerstone of success lies in effective leadership coaching and diagnosing the needs of the Representatives. However, it is not simply a matter of being trained. Managers must overcome day to day hurdles to be an effective coach. It takes a knowledge of the skills plus the courage to open up sensitive and important topics with others. It takes time, a precious commodity in a DM's week. It takes self-control over our emotions when someone doesn't measure up on an important mission that we, as Managers care about. When we coach, we run a risk of opening up conflict, differences, and misunderstandings that can create discomfort. In short, "coaching is easier said than done." But the results will be worth it if we are consistent and rigorous at using coaching skills. Five Steps to Vocational Passion: A Disciplined Plan for Major Mid-life Changes There's a famous song lyric that asks: "Is that all there is?" Every seven seconds, an American turns 50 years old. So there's a good chance that song is running through some of their heads. Why a Coach is NOT a Consultant Often while talking to people about my coaching practice I get asked what the difference is between a coach and a consultant. Many people believe they are either the same thing or very similar. This is untrue. There are many distinct differences between someone who coaches and someone who consults. Let Go of Your Past People have a difficult time letting go of the past because they are held back by unfinished business. They may regret choices they have made or feel guilty about past actions. As long as guilt and regret are not resolved, it is difficult to move forward.
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