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Budda In Your Back Pocket
The other day I was late for something. Not very late. In fact, I was actually on time but an angry voice berated me anyway, saying, "You are late! There will be no seats left. You wouldn't run late if you were more organized!" It was a terrible feeling, especially because the voice was partially right. Who was this voice yelling at me? It was my nemesis the Shrew who lives in my head. We all get annoyed at ourselves from time to time; it is only natural. But for some of us, it can become an unrelenting bother. There can be no contentment when the Shrew is on the scene! Some call it a gremlin, others an inner critic, others negative self-talk. I call her the Shrew. No matter what you call yours, you know who I mean. She's fierce, she's damning and she's quick to pounce on every mistake you make, turning them into capital offenses. The Shrew exaggerates our flaws, smashes our self-esteem, ruins our confidence, distracts us from what we are doing and makes us miserable. I am choosing not to live with it anymore! I invite you to do the same. There is a force which can tame the Shrew: The Buddha in Your Back Pocket*. Think of a time when you witnessed a stranger being scolded and felt badly for them. Perhaps it was a worker being accused by an angry boss of "screwing things up" for something you knew wasn't their fault. Did you wish you could go up to that worker and say, "Don't pay any attention to them. I saw what happened and I know you are a doing a good job!" This softer side of you is the anti-Shrew. It is empathy and compassion. The Shrew is afraid of it because she fears you might offer it to yourself. It is a skill to learn to apply this loving, tender, supportive side of ourselves to ourselves. Many of us, me included, are not in the habit of it. The morning I was late, Ms. Shrew was in full force. But, before she could ruin my day, I was able to ward her off by pulling out the Buddha in My Back Pocket. It felt a bit like Luke Skywalker yielding a light saber against Darth Vader. "Luke, use the force!" I let the powerful voice of the Buddha in My Back Pocket counter the accusations of the Shrew. He asked, "What were your reasons for making the choices you did this morning?" and "Would you make these same choices again?" Then he reminded me of two universal truths: "You are doing the best you can" and "Growth involves observing one's actions and then learning from them." Under this influence of love and a genuine intention to seek understanding, I was able to temporarily silence the Shrew, objectively analyze my "lateness" and gain valuable personal insight. Within a few minutes, I felt relieved, re-engaged in life and able to peacefully continue with the rest of my day. Unfortunately, we can't eradicate the Shrew completely. But we can learn to access this equalizing force: the pursuit of empathetic understanding a loving friend that takes your side and helps you learn about yourself in a safe and protected way. The Buddha in your Back Pocket is always with you to calm your mind, forgive your errs, and remind you of the growth in your life. As you cultivate your relationship with the Buddha in your Back Pocket, you will experience more self-love, confidence and peace. Life is too short to spend time unnecessarily berating ourselves with critical self-talk! Go forth into your day and bring the Buddha in Your Back Pocket with you. You never know when you might need it! *I do not wish to offend anyone by using the title Buddha. I have the utmost respect for the Buddhist tradition. In this article, I refer to Buddha as a representation of an enlightened teacher offering guidance to those who chose to listen. Deirdre's coaching is an accelerant that helps produce results. Through scheduled teleconferences, Deirdre creates a structured environment where you can work towards your goals. Using practical analysis, active listening and brainstorming, she challenges you to improve your quality of life immediately. Looking for a topic and speaker for your next meeting? Why not: "How to Create Exceptional Work-Life Balance" based on Deirdre's upcoming book Intensely Content: Seven Steps to Experiencing More Joy in Your Life? Work-Life balance is always a crowd-pleasing topic! Call Deirdre today to discuss the details of your event: 207-439-4280.
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I work side by side with my clients' coaching them by providing perspective and support for self-knowledge as they accomplish their business and personal goals. Successful Implementation of Company Wide Coaching Programmes Ten years ago I was fortunate enough to be heavily involved in the implementation of a company wide coaching programme, both as an employee who was to receive coaching but also as a manager and coach who was expected to regular coach my reports and my peers to enable them to achieve their objectives. I say, fortunate enough, because I found that when I was coached effectively I became really motivated and focused, and when I finally became a proficient coach, I again found it motivational in that I was able to support and enable my direct reports to achieve more. Budda In Your Back Pocket The other day I was late for something. Not very late. In fact, I was actually on time but an angry voice berated me anyway, saying, "You are late! There will be no seats left. You wouldn't run late if you were more organized!" It was a terrible feeling, especially because the voice was partially right. Resolving Conflicts Effectively Every relationship has conflicts. In some relationships, conflict is a serious problem; in others, differences seem to be resolved without creating a major incident. Encourage Personality Testing I was asked the other day : "Kate, is personality testing novelty, frivolity, or common sense?" One BIG Way To Increase Your Values and Self-Esteem One hour here, two hours there, even fifteen minutes, it all adds up, and quickly too. Television is toxic to our self- esteem. In fact, 90% of television programs are a depressant. That leaves only 10% as a stimulant. With such a high percentage of negativity fueling the majority of this country television must play into the fact that anti- depressant consumption is doubling by the year. So, if you are wondering why you have low self-esteem, think about your television habits. Trust In The Moment, and Trust In Yourself Do you often get yourself upset and feeling less than fully confident, as part of your preparation for facing a daunting challenge? You can improve your performance if you let your somatic intelligence lead the way."You move too much to be effective." Tamura sensei softly shouted at me. "You need to give your opponent a clearer target to strike at." Overcoming Work Addiction Why are you so busy? Do you really have too much work? Is work so important to you that you'll sacrifice just about anything in your life to get the job done? Even if it's at the expense of your health and your relationships? How to Optimize the Awesome Power of Thoughts and Imagination Have you encountered a time when you were in a traffic jam and was running late for an important meeting? Did you stay calm and focused? Or did your mind wander into the dark side of the impending consequences that may occur? What You See is What You Get H. Jackson Brown Jr. once wrote, Your mind can only hold one thought at a time, make it a positive and constructive one. As simple as these words may seem, they are in fact, very true. You see, if you are looking for a way to feel better at any given moment, all you have to do is change what you are focusing on. Your brain is a very powerful tool that you own and you should use to your advantage. How Empathy Can Reduce Your Anger Jim, a 42-year old engineer was teaching his eight-year-old son how to fly a radio-controlled airplane. As the airplane was taking off, Jim instructed his son to push the control stick on the radio to the right. He did and the airplane turned to the right. Buyer Beware: Choose A Business Coach Carefully To Get The Results You Want Consider this scenario. A colleague suggests you get a business coach. Via the Internet, you find one close-by. The woman says she'd love to help. She charges $300 a month for two 30-minute calls. It seems like a good deal, so you eagerly sign on the dotted line. Negotiating Difficult Life Transitions Life is a process of beginnings and endings. In both life and nature, there are times when things move slowly and don't seem to change very much. Then, suddenly, things change quickly. Moving from August to September, the weather changes gradually at first, and then it seems that suddenly summer is over. It is the same in our lives; transitions are as natural as the changing seasons. Top Ten Things You Would Never Hear a Coach Say (or then again?!) When coaching, it's all about the client, be that as a professional coach, or a line manager/business owner using coaching skills in their own business, with their own people. But it's so easy sometimes to turn the tables and be the client..oh, so easy...:-) Coaching: The Art of Putting Yourself In Somone Elses Shoes COACHING STEPS: The following are five (5) steps a coach can take to change behavior and performance. 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The reality is if you knew just how special you were - and how much greatness went into making you the unique you that you are I'm convinced you would immediately know that nothing can truly keep you from achieving that which you want in your life.
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