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What Rules!
There are things that we do automatically internally that we don't even realize are the things that make us who we are. Our own rules for living that we hardly ever question, and even less frequently examine. A few months ago I made a statement in a small group of co-workers concerning the fact that somewhere along the way, as a mechanism (as in "clear the... " (from the movie 'For the Love of the Game', see it if you haven't. It's awesome...)) for getting through tough situations, I developed the belief that I always win. ALWAYS! Until I said it and it was "out there" I hadn't ever really thought about it in terms of being a belief that I had. I feel though that having this belief has smoothed me out. I don't suffer drastic fluctuations in the way I feel based on how things are going for me. Basically I always feel pretty up in the game. It's because of this goofy voice in the back of my mind that constantly reminds me that no matter how bad things may look right now "you know you are gonna win, why even get bothered about it". I just believe I'm always going to win. What I'm saying here is that no matter what the situation I believe that if I keep my head, and dig into it more I will be shown a way to see myself as better off for the new experience that I've just encountered. No matter how rough the experience may appear to observers on the outside, you would better understand and believe on the inside Clyde's winnin' baby. A little education here, bare with me... Back when I was playing in lots of racquetball tournaments, and losing more than I was winning, it was rough mentally. There were times at the end of certain matches when I had just got beaten so badly that I really seriously considered trying to dig a hole into that hardwood floor and covering myself up. This rather than go out of that stinkin little door and face what was on the outside of the court. Racquetball is not a huge spectator sport but there were some tournaments in California and Texas, two states where the sport enjoys it's largest participation, when somewhere around 500 to 600 people would turn out to see the action. Now that doesn't sound like a lot of people when you consider how many people show up for some other sporting events, but in racquetball the fans are a lot closer to you when you exit the field of play than they are in most other sports. So close in fact that you can feel their stares and hear their comments about your performance, and we all know everyone has an opinion. They get to look into your eyes, and you into theirs. That's close, and not always comfortable. It's one of the now small things that I had to learn to deal with. In racquetball if you get beat without scoring, as in 15 - 0, it's called "taking a donut". Let me tell you guys and girls something right here right now, you gotta have a strong constitution to take a 'double donut' in a 2 out of 3 game match and still show up the next weekend to possibly face the same opponent with many of the same people looking on. At one point my practice buddies took to calling me 'the baker'. I must have set some kind of record with the number of donuts I took in tournament play. I got so tired of hearing the question "Man, what happened?" that I developed a personal policy to never talk about the score off the racquetball court. Whether I came out ahead on the scoreboard or not I never talked about it. Period. From this policy of never acknowledging the scoreboard grew inside of me a complete lack of focus on it. I would go into matches with personal goals that had nothing to do with what was on the scoreboard or how the match turned out. What I began to figure out was that the less energy I put into keeping score the more I had to put into playing the game. Which I guess made me a better player because the better I got at controlling this focus the more I played on Saturday and Sunday. (Which is a good thing.) Mentally letting go of the scoreboard freed me up to just play, which I had no problem doing once I figured this out. Here's the meat. When it comes to what you focus on, realize it's your decision. In life you can choose to focus on what everyone else thinks is important, or you could pick 2 or 3 things for yourself. Things that are important to you. You can be told what's important and accept what you've been told, or you could figure out for yourself where your focus should be based on what works for you. Do not be afraid to be different. That's the beauty of the system were all in here together. We're all going to the exact same place but we all have different road maps for getting there. Your journey shouldn't look exactly like mine, because my journey is not your journey. How you get to where we're going is between you and your internal guide. In closing I want to encourage you to be you. Examine the things that work for you and do more of them. The things that don't work for you, discard them. If being focused on the scoreboard doesn't work for you then forget it exist. Establish your own scoring system. Make your own rules. Define things in your own terms. Of course there is an established frame work within which we must all work, but I have found that the borders of this frame work are a whole lot further out than they first appear to be. Don't wait to be led to where you want to go, be your own leader. Go there. Thanks for your time. Live some. Love some. Learn some. Everyday. C... Clyde Dennis, a.k.a. "Mr. How-To" has been writing and publishing Articles and Newsletters online since 1999. Clyde's company EASYHow-To Publications provides "How-To" information on How-To do, be or have just about anything one can imagine. For more information visit http://www.EASYHow-To.com. Email correspondence for Clyde should be sent to: cdennis@easyhow-to.com
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Business Management Live With An Attitude Of Gratitude Imagine for a moment one of those nights when you just can't fall asleep and you have to get up early the next morning for a very important meeting of which you are the keynote speaker. Your alarm clock goes off early in the morning waking you from what little sleep you had. You stumble out of bed, have a quick shower, grab a coffee and some toast, and off you go to fight the traffic on the way to work. Think, Pause & Talk There are two kinds of peoples we generally face in every walk of life The Power of a Scope We all know the power of a scope if you need to focus in on a target and hit it. We all need to develop and truly understand the power of the human mind's scope. All of us have inside of us the potential to be as powerful as the most high-tech laser scope available today. A scope is designed to focus in on a target without getting distracted or losing focus in order to hit its target right on the bull's eye. Now remember that all mechanical scopes are programmed by human technology and if we can do it for machines, we can do it for ourselves. Difficult Challenges? -- What If? Sometimes life can seem like one long series of unsolvable problems. I know there have been times when I would much rather find something else to do and quit whatever I was doing simply because it was too much trouble to continue. In fact, earlier in my life that is exactly what I did do. (And to tell the truth, I wouldn't change it even if I could!) The Amazing Secret To Ridding Yourself Of Self Consciousness One of the biggest challenges to developing superior communication skills is that you already have your hands full in those situations where you need help. Take a typical scenario - meeting new people. Action NOT Reaction Do you feel you are in charge of your life do you really believe that you control your destiny? Or you are of those people who feel manipulated all the time, they are doing things and they don't know, why? Do you have the sense that you are a wooden puppet that someone else pulls the strings? Where to Begin? January is the king of months for those looking to make new beginnings. After the reflections and indulgences of December, the excitement of a new year unfolding brings contemplation of better days ahead. Friends? I met my friend when we were in graduate school, and we enjoyed hanging out together outside of classes. After receiving our degrees, we both left school to live in different states. That was 10 years ago. Coaching Skills and Positive Motivation There is one important point that is often missed in the discussion of Coaching Skills: Effective coaching is a great deal more than just problem solving. Many people misinterpret coaching as only a corrective process aimed at specific error and deficiencies of an individual. Actually, the use of coaching skills doesn't always have to be driven by problems. Challenges, opportunities, and obstacles that transcend any one member of the organization can be the motivating force. This type of coaching is very exciting to do. It is less personalized in nature and therefore not as stressful or tense. Although it does require certain skills, mindset, and approaches used in problem solving, it can be applied to positive coaching, which is designed to empower employees to go farther and contribute in new ways. 5 Tips to Improve ANY Performance Seeking improved performance at work? Wishing you could finally achieve your sports-related goals? Merely looking for a way to get more out of everything you do? What follows are five basic skills (basic in that all top achievers know these skills and apply them in some form on a weekly basis) that will dramatically improve your performance. What is Coaching? Recently, I have received several emails asking me about coaching and what it is exactly. So, I decided to answer some of those questions in this article. Controlling Behavior, Loving Behavior When Zack and Tiffany started counseling with me, they were on the verge of divorce after 16 years of marriage. Neither really wanted to end the marriage, yet both were miserable. Both of them believed that their misery was because of the other person, and both could clearly articulate what the other person was doing wrong. Is Time Really Easier to Sell than Products? Generate Extra Revenue by Packaging Up What You Know Over the years I've worked with very many coaches and consultants who make their money by selling blocks of time. THE Step to Working Smarter (Japanese Style) Remember that Coke contest from the 80s? If you collected bottle tops that had the letters to spell T-H-E R-E-A-L T-H-I-N-G, then youd win a zillion dollars. The Joy of Learning! "Part of what motivates me to write this book is a concern that we've lost touch in education with the sheer joy of what it means to learn something new." -Thomas Armstrong, Author, Awakening Genius in the Classroom Who Do You Talk To? Many of you reading this will be running businesses, or parts of, whether they are your own or not. This means that you have many things to deal with on a day to day basis plus trying to do the long-term thinking needed to lead and run the business. You probably find yourself being very busy, possibly working long hours and, if you are honest, being reactive most of the time. When do you get (or make!) time to really think about your business or the way you are operating personally? (Working on the business rather than in it!) Among the dilemmas you face are; making time to tune out and relax, time think about the business, and finding time talk to about the issues and frustrations. Do You Make Less Money Than Your Taller Peers? A recent study at the University of Florida found that over the span of their careers short people earn less money than their taller counterparts. In terms of cold hard cash, each extra inch in height equals roughly $800 difference in annual pay. So, essentially a person standing at 5 ft 8 inches tall will make about $9600 less annually than someone standing at 6 ft 8 inches tall. Do you know WHAT MAKES ME MAD? It makes me SO MAD I just want to... Sound familiar? If you want to manage anger, the only way of doing so is to listen to your self-talk. This doesn't mean listening to yourself talk. It means listening to your SELF-TALK. After July 8, Pay This Amount You undoubtedly go through this, too. A few times a month you gather up the bills coming due and write checks or pay them online. Choosing an Apprentice Along the path from where you are now to millions in revenue, thousands in readers, tens of thousands of prospects, or hundreds of clients -- whatever criteria you use to define success for your coaching...there us is one key speedbump which is seldom talked about.That is capacity.This is especially true as your revenues grow up to six figures and you set your sights on building a seven-figure legacy business with a global impact. How do you get your head around this problem? What secrets will ease your way through the growing pains? In all the many thousands of hours of consulting, coaching and training I've done, there is only one key I've found to date that doesn't require significant cash investment. And that is the concept of apprentices.
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