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Great Advice
It never ceases to amaze me that every time I give a speech, do a seminar, or talk with people one-on-one, I get inundated with questions seeking the almighty answers to all that ails them. However, when I press them to come up with an answer to their own situation, they usually respond by offering their own solution right back to me. They say things like: "I know I should do ---------, then ---------, then ---------. After that, all I need to do is get so-and-so to do ---------, and then things will really come together." Do you see where this is going? More often than not, you already know the answers to your own dilemmas. I mean, who could possibly give you better advice on your current situation than you could give yourself? The sheer fact that you are reading this newsletter says volumes about your self-esteem, drive, and quest for improvement. You're already a winner. How many people come to you for advice? A lot, I bet. Doesn't that tell you something? Look, use common sense here. If you are in a situation that calls for a professional outside opinion, such as a health matter, emotional issue, spiritual guidance, etc., I understand and recommend seeking such counsel. Yet, if you look in the mirror and realize you need to drop a few pounds, do you really need another book, fad diet, or the latest and greatest exercise gizmo in your life? Or do you simply need to apply what you already know and give yourself the same advice you would offer someone else in the same situation, such as: Avoid fatty foods, get off the couch, and do a sit-up or two? You get the point, right? So let me ask you a question and challenge you as I do each month. Do you have a lingering issue or two that you need to take action toward correcting? Maybe you need to work on creating new relationships, get started on that business idea, write the book you've been thinking about, or have that talk with someone you've been meaning to confront for months. You know what you need, and you know what you need to do. So let me ask you: What advice would you give yourself? Gregory Scott Reid, The Millionaire Mentor. #1 best-selling author, speaker, and Radio personality. Please visit my website at http://www.AlwaysGood.com and sign up for my free monthly newsletter.
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Computer Training How to Hire a Coach Improve Your Life! How to Hire A Coach. How To Improve Your Selling Skills -- With Coaching Skills But people love being coached. It's respectful and considerate of their needs. it helps them focus on what is right for them. In fact, it's all about them - the client. It doesn't matter to you if you make a sale or not, and they appreciate that? in fact, they just may buy something from you after all? you are so 'nice' and honest! Is Your Life In Motion? Ever since the Internet bubble and the 9/11 terrorist attacks, I've seen many people; including friends and family lose their jobs and/or personal fortunes overnight. The struggling economy has been merciless on the job market. It has affected every industry at every level, from line operators in manufacturing plants to upper management of Fortune 500's. I was confident back then, that if I were thrown into such a situation I would be prepared. Late in 2001, I experienced my own version of downsizing, when I sold my delivery and logistics business. What I actually did, was sell myself out of a job. After the sale was completed, I was suddenly questioning what to do with my life. The sale provided tremendous advantages, allowing me the financial flexibility and time to actually put some real thought behind this decision. I was convinced that within 3-6 months of the sale, I would be happily and successfully on my professional way. I've always thought of myself as an active participant in my own life, never sitting on the sidelines waiting for an opportunity to seek me out. I have to admit, it was one of the most difficult times, requiring enormous soul searching and reflection. And just think, I asked for this and knew it was coming. During my first year of "planned unemployed", I tried day trading, business consulting, writing a screenplay, producing a film, graduate school and a variety of new hobbies. All of these career options were well thought out. I was just waiting to see which one would stick. Well, guess what? None of them provided enough enthusiasm to further pursue. This is when the panic really set in. I was back at the drawing board, thinking of new business ideas and developing extensive lists of pros and cons for each. Over the next few months, I drove my wife, family, friends and myself crazy with dozens of career/business ideas. Attention! Thought Crossing! Or, The Secret of What's Between Your Ears What are you thinking - right now? 'I'm reading your article!' you say. Well, take a little bit of a closer look. What's spinning in the back of your mind? Is it that big deadline that's looming at the end of the week? Or how you are going to deal with your mother-in-law this weekend? Or maybe you are worrying about your finances? The Rewards and Risks Of Personal Freedom We all need to decide whether to "play it safe" in life and worry about the downside, or instead take a chance, by being who we really are and living the life our heart desires. Which choice are you making? Pecked to Death By Ducks Ever been in a situation where it seems like minor criticisms are all you hear? Sure, there are things you could improve, you know that . . . but a constant peck, peck, peck of negative feedback sure doesn't motivate you to change! One of my mentors called this gradual chipping away at one's self esteem, "being pecked to death by ducks." How to deal with it? There are ducks outside my window as I write . . . and I know that one sure way to make them go away, is to stop feeding them. Ducks need to eat a lot, and eat often, to keep going. If they can't get food from you, they'll try someplace else. So . . . how can you make this work for your brand of "ducks"? What about figuring out what there is about you that's FEEDING them? For example, are you reacting to their pecks? (Psychologists tell us that some people use a negative approach to get the attention they crave.) Are you working harder in response to their criticism? (When you do this, you are exhausting yourself and adding chocolate sauce to their dessert! The pecking won't end, I guarantee it.) I believe we feed our ducks when we take words of criticism home and brood. Most of us are programmed to take criticism much more seriously than we do praise, and many of us make almost a career out of taking criticism home to chew over . . . and over . . . and again. When Duck A criticizes me for DOING x, I have a choice. Take it home and make it last . . . or look the criticism in the face. If it's fair and valid, I may decide to stop x-ing (it's my choice). In fact, Duck A may have done me a good turn -- and one way to keep this in mind is to say (over and over if necessary), "It's about what I DO, it's not who I BE." A WORD ABOUT SYSTEMIC DUCK FEEDERS: Some organizations and groups encourage anonymous feedback, in the mistaken belief that this provides a safe environment for honest communication. WRONG! Anonymous feedback promotes dysfunctional systems . . . and dysfunctional systems are essentially "duck food silos." (I put a spin on an old mantra, "If you can't say it to his/her face, don't say it at all." Of course, sometimes we need help -- a mentor, an advocate, a companion, a safe structure. But whatever it takes, in healthy systems, constructive, behavior-focused criticism comes with a name attached, and if at all possible, is given face-to- face.) Finally: HOW NOT TO BE A DUCK: Before YOU criticize, think clearly. Figure out what is really bugging you. And then speak directly to the person with whom you have a problem. Use 'I' statements (a skill unknown to ducks, as far as I know). Rehearse ahead of time to be sure you are focused on behavior (Do-ing), not Be-ing. A good rule is to ask yourself, "How would this sound if she (or he) were talking to ME?" © Maureen Killoran, 2005 Do You Need a Performance Coach? In today's fast paced world, we are often confronted with the issue, "I want to get in shape, but I just don't have the time!" We all have faced it at one time or another. So, when we finally decide to get in shape we go to the gym, and then another decision hits us. Should you get a personal trainer? That would speed up the process, I mean, they have taken massive amounts of time to study the body, and know how best to work out without hurting yourself. They can help you with a proper diet, implementing exercise into your lifestyle, etc. Also, I do not know of a single professional athlete who does not have a coach or mentor?get the hint? Managing Performance Every Day The scenario? Is Your Attitude Destroying Your Health? A positive attitude may bring good health and success. If you have ever read any book about success you will discover how an optimistic attitude will keep you healthier and tremendously increase your chances of success. Why Therapy Fails Sometimes I saw a couple for marriage counseling this week, and when I asked them if they had ever seen anyone else for counseling they said they had worked with two other therapists. They had seen one therapist on and off a few years back. They had seen the other one only a few times. They could not even remember her name. Choosing The Right Coach Coaching has become a very popular way for people to get the ongoing support they need to accomplish their goals. However, choosing a coach can be tricky. There are so many METHODS, models, and approaches. Coaches come from every background possible -- from counseling to consulting to corporate America. And each individual has a PERSONALITY, communication style, and temperament that is going to match well with some people and clash with others. So how do you choose someone who is right for you? Executive Coaching and Effective Learning We've all been through training events-workshops, seminars, and courses that did not affect our behavior as much as we would have preferred. And while each provides valuable information and tools for increased productivity, most of us also understand what happens after the workshop is over. We return to our work, our offices, our lives-and the principles we learned are swept aside by a tidal wave of meetings, projects, and commitments. If we're motivated, we find a moment to reflect on and consolidate a couple of relevant points, but industry studies show that most new learning is lost within a few days of the event-as much as 90% in some cases. So what's the solution? How Coaches Find Clients Online At a recent networking meeting Jana asked for a recommendation for a public speaking coach. She was starting to speak in front of audiences, and wanted to polish her presentation skills a bit. Before anyone else got a chance to reply, Elise jumped in to recommend her coach, Kelly. "I have been working with Kelly for two months, and I have already seen results from working with her. I am much more confident during my presentations, and I see that my audience is more engaged and more responsive. She is great; I will e-mail you her contact information later today." Be The One With Something Interesting To Say How Do You Learn Something New? How to Forgive Another for Past Hurts No one gets through life without being hurt by another person. We all have experienced the pain of a thoughtless remark, gossip, or lie. If you have experienced an unhappy marriage, the devastation of infidelity, or suffered physical or emotional abuse, you know what it feels like to be hurt. It is tempting to hold on to these feelings and build a wall of safety around yourself, but the best way to heal is to forgive the person who hurt you. Transitions: Moving Through Change With Grace MOVING THROUGH CHANGE How To Give Criticism Without Bruising Egos As responsible employers, parents, and friends, we have an obligation to correct the mistakes of other people in order to enhance their personal success. The task before us is how to correct a deficiency without damaging the delicate ego that can sometimes get in the way. Too often people criticize someone's behavior without providing a solution and this is detrimental because it then becomes a personal attack on the person that only aims to demerit them. Constructive criticism involves pointing out their weakness and offering a solution to correct it. In order to give constructive criticism, we must seek the solution to the problem before we point it out to the person. By doing this, we effectively separate the behavior from the ego and preserve the relationship in the process. Good, Good, Good, Good Intentions I always do a lot of thinking about good intentions in December. Anger: To Control or To Learn Many of us will do anything to avoid another's anger, yet may be quick to anger ourselves. Many of us dread another's anger yet continue to use our own anger as a way to control others. How To Deal With People Who Dislike You When you read books on personal development and articles about making your life better the emphasis is generally on the positive.
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