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Belief Management - The Missing Ingredient?
"Joan, I'm working so hard and I'm not getting anything done!" I have heard some version of this cry of frustration by many an entrepreneur. It's a common complaint voiced by those of use who sought the freedom to have complete authority over our schedules, only to find ourselves unwittingly shackled by old ways of operating. It does not appear to matter that we are independent professionals or business owners, we live in a world shaped by the rules of corporate life. Most of us came from jobs and daily schedules that dictated what to do and how to spend our time. Being somewhat like the long-term prisoner we got very used to the daily regimen. We were told when to start work, take lunch, take breaks and leave for the day. Managers, clients, customers and operating manuals told us what to do and when to do it. So we get out on our own, having dreamt of the freedom, only to start filling our days with busyness, in a panic from the very start. We don't have a clue as to how to do otherwise. It doesn't seem to matter how long you have been out on your own. It's just as difficult to break outdated habits and beliefs when we do become financially successful. Why? Because whatever path to success we took, we now believe - or certainly worry - that it's the only way. We are afraid to let go and try something new. Why? Perhaps because beliefs have been making the decisions all along. And I'm not talking about beliefs based in trust, faith, passion and prosperity! Consider the following beliefs: 1. I'm easily distracted 2. I'm not an organized person 3. I do my best work under pressure 4. Really successful people start work early and end late 5. When you own your own business, you have to work long hours, especially at the beginning 6. If I keep enough balls up in the air, some are sure to land. 7. Work?hard? nose?to? the?grindstone (Arrgghh!) 8. If I'm having fun it must not be right Or complaints? 1. I can't take time off - I need the money 2. I don't know how to say "no" to others (or to crappie work or to crummy clients) 3. I never have enough time for myself 4. I'm responsible for everything in my business 5. In this bad economy?fill in the blank It's no wonder we find it difficult, left to our own devices, to figure out how to structure our day so that we achieve that seemingly illusive balance between success and personal well being. The two needs appear to be at odds with each other. It's a rare few that have the good fortune to understand how to create a structure that effectively serves both needs. The goal is to be able to make good decisions about how your spend your working time with confidence, so that you are effective, having fun and leaving room for your personal needs and commitments. The goal is to be able to make such decisions from a place of certainty, trust, and faith in yourself, and 'the universe.' Uncovering Your Beliefs and Understanding Their Impact on Your Business Decisions 1. To get started thinking about the impact your beliefs have on how you decide what it takes to be successful in business, pick one from the above list that isn't one of yours. Imagine if it were yours. What impact do you think it would have on you? How would it impact your ability to make sound decisions about what it takes to be successful? 2. Now take a look at something you know you do believe, a belief or a habit that you can't seem to shake. If you are having difficulty coming up with one, think about what you complain about to your friends, family or colleagues. Think about the story you tell people over and over. (This is the part that can make you squirm. It's okay. No one is around but you right now.) We are looking for the ugly, wonderful truth. 3. Take the belief you identified in 2 above and make note of how it could be impacting your decisions, your ability to set boundaries, your willingness to take time off or simply stop working before 5. (Yes, I meant before 5.) 4. Over the next week, take some time to observe and note every time this belief "pops up" to influence your decisions. Just taking these few simple steps can loosen the hold that outdated beliefs have on your decisions from this day forward - no kidding. The beliefs are no longer in the background, in hiding, and running the show. You now have a chance to loosen their reign. Bonus Step: If you want to go one step further, write down a new belief to replace the old belief. Review the new belief every day. Put it up on your computer as a screen saver (mine's "Abundance Girl"). Feel the belief, look for evidence it's true. If the old one comes to visit, say hello, bid it adieu, and then replace it with the new belief. Willingness, the Final Ingredient Ask yourself this: Am I willing let go of my story and do whatever it takes (even to feel like a fool) to have the freedom and the success that lead me to start my business in the first place? If you are, you can. c2004 by Joan Friedlander. All rights reserved About The Author Joan Friedlander is an Entrepreneur's Success Coach. Her national coaching company, Lifework Business Partners, provides services, programs and products for entrepreneurs who have strong personal values and are committed to a high level of success and professionalism in their business. You can expect increased revenue, an improved quality of life, and an overall increase in confidence and business know-how within 3-6 months. Click on the this link to find out more http://www.lifeworkpartners.com
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Business Management The Story ?From the Chicken Coop? Many years ago my grandfather, had a small farm and chickens. One morning he sent me out to the chicken coop to collect fresh eggs. He became concerned when I did not return after a shot interval. When he came looking for me I jumped with joy, but he saw tears in my eyes and noticed that I was in an adjacent empty chicken coop, which could be entered only through the same door as the occupied coop. Q-Tip It! Back in the 1920's when Polish-American entrepreneur Leo Gerstenzang invented cotton swabs as a safer way to clean his baby's ears, he called his product "Q-Tip." Actually, his first name-choice was "Baby Gay" but that did not sell, so the by-now familiar name emerged. Mr. Gerstenzang chose "Q" for Quality . . . and he must have been on to something, because Q-Tip has become a household word (and we've developed a whole 'nother set of connotations for 'Baby Gay.') Mind the Gap The underground train in London can get you anywhere when you know how to maneuver all the options. Like our subways, London under ground is a busy place. When your train arrives and comes to a stop, you move forward with the crowd, waiting for your turn to get on the train. A man's voice drones from overhead, warning you over and over: "Mind the gap. . . mind the gap." Transitions: Moving Through Change With Grace MOVING THROUGH CHANGE 4 Underused Hot Spots for Your Personal Branding Iron I'll never forget what my mentor told me: "Don't communicate in any way to any person without the stamp of your personal brand." The Fastest Way to Ruin Yourself I don't know many people who would admit to wanting to ruin themselves, but there are a lot of people who are doing everything they can to accomplish that very goal. They certainly don't see it that way, but if you look at the way they live, you can see it happening. A Christmas Wish My sister is a woman now beginning her thirties. She has had few friends and her boyfriends have never been good for her. Now she has finally found a man who adores her. Do you know WHAT MAKES ME MAD? It makes me SO MAD I just want to... Sound familiar? If you want to manage anger, the only way of doing so is to listen to your self-talk. This doesn't mean listening to yourself talk. It means listening to your SELF-TALK. Coaches, Do You Make These 7 Deadly Cash Flow Mistakes in Your Practice? Managing cash flow is every small business owner's most important function. Avoid these seven deadly mistakes to make sure you aren't creating cash flow problems in your coaching practice. A Sure-Fire, 10-Step Formula To Get Started As A Coach Or Consultant "My guess is first I'll need some zippy flyers and a tri-fold brochure" said an email from Matt last week. Sadly, he is not the only one thinking that the first step to building a professional business is printing fliers and brochures. After all, that's what everyone does, right? And it seems like a logical place to start, doesn't it? Floating In Mindfulness: Dealing With Disappointment Feeling disappointed? It's time to float. Its Game Time! Four Powerful Lessons in the Game of Life I turned 29 last week, and if statistics are right and I die on or around my 78th birthday, I am almost 40% done. In a numbers game, that is pretty close to half way. This had me thinking about when I played basketball in high school and college. I thought most about the half time events in the locker room. What The Buddha Says About Coaches There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill it." This means to kill any concept of the Buddha as something apart from oneself. Life On The Receiving End Of Coaching What is it like to be on the receiving end of mentoring to improve your performance in pocket billiards and at the same time, participate in life changing coaching? Good Communication is Easy - Isn't It? My name is Steve Brummet and my business is to speak to businesses, teams, schools, churches, non profit organizations and just people about improving their communication skills. Most communication experts agree that good communication starts with understanding. Self-contentment Leads to Confidence Being self-content means accepting and acknowledging who you are at your core and becoming satisfied -- maybe not perfect, but satisfied -- in all areas of your life. When you learn to better understand, better appreciate and eventually love yourself, you exude a quiet confidence that will open doors to what you want in life. One way to develop a strong sense of self-contentment is to give yourself the gift of self-appreciation. Offer yourself the same respect and kindness you give to others you care deeply for. In doing so, you will feel more at peace with yourself, be strong in your convictions and easily stand up for yourself. Here are three ways to support you in becoming more confident. 1. Silence Your Inner Critic Many women have a tendency to focus on what is "wrong" about themselves rather than what is "right." We tend to pick out and pick on the parts of ourselves we like the least. This disapproving inner critic (that little voice inside our head that points our faults and undermines our achievements) needs to be silenced. Instead of focusing on what you don't like about yourself, do your best to acknowledge and appreciate what makes you unique. Your smile. Your sense of humor. Your eyes. Now go further. What qualities define you as a person? Resist the temptation to criticize yourself. This is a learned behavior and it can be unlearned with intentional action. 2. Surround Yourself with Positive Environments In order to remain confident or regain confidence, you have to ensure that you surround yourself with positive environments emotionally and physically. This means cultivating friendships that enrich your life. A well-meaning friend that consistently points out your faults may be undermining your sense of self. Seek out people who care about you and can list all your lovely qualities instead. Fill your personal space with objects that inspire you, such as pictures of loved ones, keepsakes and favorite books. 3. Acknowledge Your Achievements Like most women, you may have been brought up not to be boastful. However, there is a distinction between bragging and not recognizing your accomplishments and contributions. We have all achieved things in our lives, both big and small, personally and professionally. But oftentimes, we cross that achievement off our "to-do" list and quickly move to the next item, with little or no celebration. When you give yourself permission to feel positive about your accomplishments and refuse to listen to your inner critic, you will feel pleased within yourself. You will proudly share your wins, rather than apologize for them. You might even amaze yourself when triumphal works such as "I am one awesome lawyer," "I am the best mother ever," or "I rock" roll off your tongue with hardly at thought. Be Better at Business And Lose Weight, Too! In business, individuals often secure the services of a success coach like myself to "fix" certain areas of their professional life. The desired fixes typically range from a desire for a promotion and/or a salary increase, to on-the-job performance enhancements, to improving one's personal productivity, to boosting one's level of enthusiasm about their job. Our Worst Enemy Who do you consider as your worst enemy? The criminals roamingthe dark streets? Your boss who's killing you mentally andemotionally with stress and harsh words? The people in office who are engaging in graft and corruption, instead of helpingthose in need? How Not Letting Go of Your Past can Hurt Your Future Experiences, whether good or bad, are sometimes all we have, and most of them reside in the past. So you may ask, why should I let go of my past when much of it is filled with beautiful memories and serenity? Is Your Life In Motion? Ever since the Internet bubble and the 9/11 terrorist attacks, I've seen many people; including friends and family lose their jobs and/or personal fortunes overnight. The struggling economy has been merciless on the job market. It has affected every industry at every level, from line operators in manufacturing plants to upper management of Fortune 500's. I was confident back then, that if I were thrown into such a situation I would be prepared. Late in 2001, I experienced my own version of downsizing, when I sold my delivery and logistics business. What I actually did, was sell myself out of a job. After the sale was completed, I was suddenly questioning what to do with my life. The sale provided tremendous advantages, allowing me the financial flexibility and time to actually put some real thought behind this decision. I was convinced that within 3-6 months of the sale, I would be happily and successfully on my professional way. I've always thought of myself as an active participant in my own life, never sitting on the sidelines waiting for an opportunity to seek me out. I have to admit, it was one of the most difficult times, requiring enormous soul searching and reflection. And just think, I asked for this and knew it was coming. During my first year of "planned unemployed", I tried day trading, business consulting, writing a screenplay, producing a film, graduate school and a variety of new hobbies. All of these career options were well thought out. I was just waiting to see which one would stick. Well, guess what? None of them provided enough enthusiasm to further pursue. This is when the panic really set in. I was back at the drawing board, thinking of new business ideas and developing extensive lists of pros and cons for each. Over the next few months, I drove my wife, family, friends and myself crazy with dozens of career/business ideas.
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